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You are on Page 457
150 Neopian Times
One hundred fifty issues of the Neopian Times,
150 hints, tips, gossip,
And jokes, fresh and sublime.
If you want all this, you can't afford to miss it,
After all, it is free, isn't it?
Everyone has a question for the Editor,
An idea or suggestion to make Neopia better.
So go to the Editorial and send in your query,
If you missed the chance it would be dreary.
Articles tell you many a thing,
Tips, tricks, other peoples opinion,
Or just their ranting.
This section can get you
That precious high score,
Or just make you read essays
That were quite a bore.
A short story is not a novel,
Nor a children's book,
It's a delicate balance,
With a faerie tale in the nook.
Where authors show their most creative side,
A time to let go, with no rules to abide.
To get a good laugh, head to the Comics section,
Where many artists work to perfection.
Some jokes may be funny, some may be cheesy,
Some make you howl, others make you queasy.
What do you get when a story isn't quite done?
You get a series; a tale on the run!
It might be twelve parts, it might be two,
You'll be left in suspense...
WHAT WILL YOU DO?!?
In all 150 issues of the Neopian Times,
We can create, draw, rant, and whine.
So go right now and have a look see,
There's no harm done, after all, it's free!
Neopets Mall Tour
Hear ye, hear ye, come one and come all
Neopets is coming to your favorite mall!
This great TCG event lasts for ten weeks
So go right ahead and take a good peek.
Create your own TCG card however you choose
It can be a faerie or a yellow Blumaroo
The best cards made will win a good prize
And the best thing is that everyone can try!
There's live action play with cards that are huge
Go ahead and try it; there's nothing to lose.
And if you learn to play clinics you get a set free
I can't wait to grab one for me!
Best of all, real Neopets artists will be there
That's a treat that's truly rare!
They draw all the art on the site
With masterful strokes that are cheery and bright
This tour might be at your local mall soon
So everyone, come in, there's plenty of room
It'll be lots and lots of fun
For you, for me, and for everyone!
Hello there, my friends,
You look awfully bored.
Well, I'll tell you one thing
That I've always adored:
Why not travel off,
To Tyrannian land,
And watch a wonderful
Grundo is like nothing
You've ever heard before.
They're the best guitar players
In all of Kreludor!
The Hikalakas play
To a tropical beat,
Sure to distract you
From the scorching heat!
The Neopian Philharmonic,
Such marvelous melodies!
Sure to be fancied
The Twisted Roses
With their black and red,
Are cool, but might keep you
Awake in your bed
The Blue Kacheek Group
Comes with a laser show,
But, are they really robots?
How should I know?
And Jazzmosis has
A very smooth sound.
Try watching them when
Christmas time comes around!
Moehawk cranks up the volume
As loud as it goes.
I like the red Moehawk,
With the star on his nose!
M*YNCI, in blue,
Purple, green, orange and yellow.
They dance perfectly,
And are really fine fellows!
Try The 2 Gallon Hats
For their western sound.
They're the kookiest cowboys
In their honky-tonk town!
If you're feeling crazy,
Watch Sticks 'N' Stones
They are sure to rock you
Right down to the bone!
And, if you want to dance,
See Yes Boy Ice Cream.
To join this band is
Every Scorchio's dream!
Chomby and the Fungus Balls
Date back to disco days
With their groovy tunes
That are sure to amaze!
There's Wock Til You Drop
With those awesome tusks.
Seeing these Wockies
Sure is a must!
You see, there's tons to do,
So must fun to explore!
You know you're excited,
So, what are you waiting for?
For the finest entertainment
In all of the land
Head to Tyrannia
For a Neopian band!
The Breadmaster has done it this time
I can't believe I'm the first in line!
While we're waiting for his shop to open
I'll tell you how this story opens
The Breadmaster had come to a realization
That a new thing was sweeping
The Neopian Nation
As he walked along the streets,
He saw Neopets eating
These round, bread sweets.
"I know that they're full of glee --
But this un-named object... what could it be?!?"
So the Breadmaster went to do what he did best
He went into a frenzied bakefest!
Hours he spent sitting down,
His usual smile turned into a frown.
If he couldn't fix this mess,
He would have no business!
Ancient recipes old and missed,
The Breadmaster went down the list.
But when he found nothing, not even a hint,
In his eyes there came a glint.
Scribbling and adding
Ingredients to a bubbling goo,
He knew he had invented
"Sliced Bread Number Two".
Put in molds and baked happily
Decorated with sprinkles very carefully...
The Breadmaster happily exclaimed:
"Oh, the euphoria! Oh the fame
That I'm going to get...
I'll name these things "Doughnuts"!
They'll be a hit!"
And so, my friend, as they say
This is the reason we're here today
I've got all my Neopoints here, ready to go nuts...
I'm ready to try these piping hot doughnuts!
An Introduction to Neopia
In Neopia there are sights to be seen
Kikos of red, and Ixi of green
There's Wockies, and Kyrii, and Peophins, too.
There's Myncis and Kaus, and the blue Blumaroo
There's a Bruce who skates on really thin ice,
Some faeries who are mean,
And some who are nice.
There's Skeiths and Poogles, Eyries and Nimmos
Acaras and Aishas, and ugly green Grundos
There's many more pets,
I can't name them all
Some short and some fat,
Some large and some small
Jetsams and Moehogs, Kois and Pteri
Lennies and Lupes (boy, Chias are scary!)
But that's not all there is to see
There's so much more if you'll listen to me.
There's Petpets and paint brushes
And the Golden Dubloon
And if you haven't heard
Now there's even a moon!
There's potions and armour
For each pet you own.
A place to adopt and one to disown.
A Soup Kitchen to feed you
If your budget's too low.
But if you're rich
It's to the Tower you go.
The Wheel of Excitement spins really quick
And if you want, there are stamps to lick.
Perhaps an avatar will make you giggle
Perhaps you'll hop and spring like a Quiggle.
Ahh, there is so very much to tell...
Have you taken a ride on the new carousel?
There's so many items
I don't know where to start..
Cherries and chocolate,
Sand shaped like a heart.
Codestones and faeries,
And cheap wooden blocks
Neowart fungus and pink smelly socks!
Plushies and puzzles, sandals galore
Does anyone know what those toy boats are for?
If that's not enough there's games to be played
Perhaps unscramble in Eliv Thade.
Maybe the slots are more up your alley...
Or Kiko Match 2, but don't dilly dally.
Why not go and Whack-A-Staff Member?
(The girls are worth more
That's what I remember)
Or, if you're bored, and feeling ho-hum
Play Cheat! or Geos, or Lenny Conundrum.
There's so much more I could tell you about
Of Mootix and Mozitos and sweet Snorkle snout
But although my poem is only beginning
The Wheel of Monotony has just stopped spinning!
Total Poetry Pages : 1878
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