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PIRATE DAY SPECIAL
How to Speak Like a Pirate
Today is the Pirate's Day;
Everyone speaks the pirate's way.
Here is some advice to fit in
With the Krawk Island kin.
All the R's you say
Must be spoken a special way,
Roll them off your tongue
Speaking like they are sung.
The next tip is very fun:
When you address someone,
Do not use their usual name,
Call them "matey" all the same.
Next come some phrases
That are handy during all cases,
Like "blimey" and "dungbie,"
Or "shiver me timbers" and "avast ye!"
And now for the ship:
Forecastle is the very tip,
Jacob's ladder gets you aboard,
Poop deck is your sleeping ward.
Now that you have some basics,
Discard all grammar and make faces.
T'ain't nothin' be more fun
Than barblin' wirth pirate's tongue!
Talk Like a Pirate Day
Talk like a pirate,
Arrrrr, that be the day.
Now I must talk like a pirate
Whatever I say!
Now what shall be talked about
On this fine Pirate Day?
But I must talk like a pirate
Whatever I say.
Taking over ships -
Yeah, that's what we'll take about.
Must remember to talk like a pirate
Whatever I say.
Right, me and my crew will take over a ship,
Though that ship must be a fine ship.
I'm rubbish at talking like a pirate
But I will try whatever I say!
We will steal the treasure
And all shout, "HURRAY!"
That prove I be a pirate
In all but one way.
I can't be talkin' like a pirate.
Nope, not in ANY way.
But I tried me best to talk like a pirate;
Not bad for a day!
Samuel No Eyes
Samuel No Eyes wasn't born blind,
Lost both eyes on the salt sea brine.
Still from the Labyrinth, no ball of twine,
Out he would march with the Minotaur's wine.
Samuel No Eyes, scurvy sea dog,
Keeps for his ship an illegible log,
But through the worst and the thickest of fog,
He'll steer most sure as he drinks down his grog.
Samuel No Eyes, swaggering walk,
He likes to drink and he does like to talk.
Though he's a terror when you're what he stalks,
Ask for a story and he'll never balk.
Samuel No Eyes, see his lip curl --
Someone's let on he was robbed by a girl.
Usul lass found what in caves he had squirreled,
When he neglected his mouth-sails to furl.
Samuel No Eyes couldn't help brag;
Hannah took note of the tongue he let wag.
Still, this is hardly a permanent lag --
Give him a week and he'll bag some more swag!
Samuel No Eyes won't take your lip.
Though he is blind he can still steer a ship.
Hands on the wheel and a sword at his hip,
Catch the wind hard in his sails -- let 'er rip!
Samuel No Eyes, piratic thief,
Knows every shoal, bar, and dangerous reef.
Of sea navigators he's clearly the chief;
Though he loses bits the ship won't come to grief.
Samuel No Eyes, he needs no guide;
His sense of direction's his joy and pride:
North, east, south, west,
Treasure, storm, wind, and tide,
Sightless but sure on the high waves he'll ride.
If you are near Krawk Island,
And the day is mildly nice,
Why not drop by and play a round
Of a game there called Bilge Dice?
You'll be welcomed by a Krawk,
Grimtooth, his friends all say.
And although he seems deceitful,
That Krawk just loves to play.
So choose your ante amount,
And pull up a wooden chair.
Sit down and see all the other pirates
Who also roll dice there.
There is old Monty the Mad, they say,
Who watches all you do.
That Meerca is an illogical sort,
And unpredictable, too.
Deadeye the Eyrie is a devious one,
With a sly and tricky knack.
You'd better watch out for this guy's paws
Whenever you turn your back.
So roll your dice, but recognize,
The rules for what you score.
To qualify, then you must have
A one and then a four.
The highest count that you can get,
Four times the number six.
But if your dice are all low numbers,
Then my friend, you're in a fix.
So get the highest score you can,
And see if you come first.
'Cause whoever has the highest count
Takes the ante from the worst!
So if ever you're in Krawk Island,
And the weather is quite nice,
Feel free to stay and play a game
Of the wonderful, lovely Bilge Dice!
Honor the Pirates!
Yo ho, my mateys!
'Tis a day to honor the pirates!
Those thieving, deceiving
And untrustworthy pirates!
During the night,
They'll leave in a hurry,
For in your house
They will've caused a flurry!
Desks and chairs,
They've ruined the carpets!
Smashed in the stairs!
You find your collection
Of Nerkmids gone,
And same with the gnome
That belongs on the lawn.
Arr! They came quickly!
Not a sound did they make!
Arr! They came swiftly!
What else did they take?
Into the ocean night's skies,
They are full of distrust
And incredible lies.
The day of the pirates
Is finally here!
Arr, me mateys!
Let there be fear!
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