I've been reading The Neopian Times for a while now,
and I've noticed more and more articles about great food, and great drinks
around Neopia. It's good to know what kinds of foods other people recommend
for my Pets to try. But why focus on one side of a topic when you can
go out and explore all the possibilities? And thus being the weird person
that I am, I decided to write something completely different when I say
that, I mean totally opposite!
And so ladies and gentlemen of Neopia... I present for
your reading pleasure: Neopia's Top 10 Most Disgusting Foods! You
may or may not agree with me, but here we go anyway.
With me I have my three taste testers, Ritly the Gold
Bruce representing the frozen foods, Tragga the Red Grarrl representing
the meats, and Labluelu the Yellow Chia representing baked goods and sweets.
I will retrieve the most disgusting articles of food I could find, they
will take a taste and report back what they think of it.
10) Lolly Snot - What else can I say? It's a lolly
with snot on it. Tragga: You really don't expect me to eat that do
you? Ritly: Ugh, the lolly part was all right, but the snot part is a
whole different story! Labluelu: Maybe I would eat this if couldn't see
it and didn't know what it was.
9) Lice Rice - Someone decided that Rice itself is
too boring, so they put in some Lice! they say it's full of protein as
well. Tragga: Hmmm, being a meat eater I would have to say that this
stuff isn't too bad, gives Rice a little zing. Ritly: It's true, nothing
that's good for you ever tastes good. Labluelu: Are those still alive?
8) Eye Candy - Someone lost their eye, and someone
else decided to make it edible. Tragga: I liked it, you just have
to close your eyes and not look directly at it when eating. Ritly: Mmm
the candy part was delicious, but I gave the eye part to Tragga. Labluelu:
I peeled off the layer of candy and ate it, but I just can't eat food
that stares at me.
7) Meaty Lupe Treat - I would imagine that Lupes love
this Chia shaped treat, but what about others? Tragga: MmmmM Chias
don't taste so bad, I give this a thumbs up! Ritly: Got anything vegetarian?
Labluelu: Ha ha ha, you're kidding right?
6) Pickled Eyeballs - Probably from the person who
brought you the Eye Candy. Tragga: It's like eating mushy pickles...
I hate pickles!! Ritly: I think I'll give these to Tragga.. Labluelu:
As if one eyeball wasn't enough, now there's two!
5) Crunchy Snotball - It's pure snot, but better...
now it's crunchy! from the makers of Lolly Snot. Tragga: I'd rather
wolf down 10 Lolly snots than one of these. Ritly: This stuff makes the
Eye Candy look like a Rainbow Chia Pop! Labluelu: Eech, who made this
stuff?
4) Snail Sub - If you like Escargot, then you'll LOVE
this. Tragga: I LOVED Escargot. Ritly: Uuuh, my food is slowly crawling
away. Labluelu: Oooh, those poor snails!
3) Banana Grub - Well, this used to be a Banana...
but now it's a breeding ground for grubs! Tragga: I liked the grubs,
but I can live without the rotten banana. Ritly: This should be fertilizer
not food. Labluelu: Is this article almost over yet?
2) Runny Snot - Can't get enough of that snot.
Tragga: If you gave this stuff to me for free I'll probably use it as
a practical joke. Ritly: Let me guess, from the creators of Lolly Snot
and the Crunchy Snotball. Labluelu: There's only one word I can use for
this: Eww.
1) Chewing Dung - Tired of normal gum? Try chewing
dung! The flavour never wears out, it also puts hair on your chest.
Tragga: Buzzes from Tyrannia chew on this stuff all the time, I don't
know why they like it, I don't even want to try this stuff. Ritly: Ewwww,
no thanks! I'll stick to normal, boring gum. Labluelu: But I just had
a bath! | 
