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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 23rd day of Swimming, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 68 > Short Stories > I Think I'm Allergic to Popular Pets

I Think I'm Allergic to Popular Pets

by loveablepet2007

It's not easy being a visitor from another, far more advanced planet. Well, actually, being a visitor is okay. It's being stranded that's not okay.

     Adjusting to the weird life forms is hard enough.

     Especially when they think you're inferior....

     "Are they gone yet?" Zelkon asked her brother.

     The little red Grundo shook his head. "They've been here for hours."

     On the sidewalk outside their house, a group of pets jeered and tormented the confused siblings.

     "What, too afraid to come out?" yelled a fire Lupe.

     "Awwww, poor Grundos, not nearly as popular as us," taunted a shadowed Shoyru, "What are their standing on the popular pet listings, now?"

     "Twentieth!" a pair of identical white Kougras bellowed.

     "Isn't that sad," commented the Shoyru with mock pity, "Still, no hard feelings. I'm sure you all are quite... unique in your own right."

     Safe inside the house, Zelkon sighed with frustration. The gang had arrived around noon and hadn't stopped insulting them since.

     "We really should find a way to get them to stop," Zarkon, her brother, advised.

     "It'll be dark soon. They'll leave then." Zelkon turned back to the papers she'd been looking at.

     "But they'll come back again tomorrow," Zarkon said, half whining.

     His sister tried to decide what was worse: the gang outside or her whiny brother. She briefly toyed with the idea of throwing her brother to the gang outside, but decided against it. He may be annoying, but he was family.

     Zarkon was staring out the window again. "What if we could teach them a lesson for good?"

     "Funny, I thought picking fights was my responsibility," she commented, adding another note to the margin of a printout covered in illegible handwriting, "What are you going to do, challenge them bare-handed?" Zelkon and her brother were twins, but she towered over her brainier sibling.

     "Well... I guess you're right, then." Zarkon continued to stare out the window.

     Zelkon scribbled another note. "I just don't get it," she muttered, "This place- there's no clear ruler. Kings, Faerie Queens, even a minor deity on one of the larger islands... the whole planet's on the brink of a civil war at any moment."

     Interested, her brother abandoned his post at the window. "What's this, then?" he asked, pointing to a scribbled note, "The Neopets Team is mentioned several times. What are they?"

     "I don't know," Zelkon sighed, "It's confusing. Some people seem to like them, others criticise them."

     "A religion, then?"

     "I dunno. Maybe."

     Outside, someone was saying something. "Okay, we've got them scared. They won't be out tonight, so we'll go home now and come back tomorrow."

     Zelkon had heard them. "Hey, Zarkon?"

     "Yeah?"

     "I have an idea..."

***

The blue Uni smiled at the little red Grundo. "Yes, we do have a few magical plushies in stock. What do you have in mind?"

     "Err... I need some Lenny plushies and a mutant Chia transmogrification potion."

     "I'm sorry, we don't have any mutant potions. Perhaps I could direct you to a shop that would sell them?"

     "No, that's okay... how about a blue Moehog morphing potion then?"

     The Uni handed the strange customer the items he'd asked for. She was a bit curious as to what he'd use them for, but she knew better than to ask- after all, the items he was buying weren't exactly cheap.

***

35973 Aisha Avenue, Neopia Central

     Fang the fire Lupe heard the doorbell ring and joined the rest of his siblings (all Lupes) in a race to get to the door first.

     "That must be my new makeup!" yelled his sister, Princess.

     "My new battle gear!" roared Darkness, his older brother.

     Fang, as usual, beat them. He swung open the door open and grabbed the package outside. In the split seconds before his sister and brother tackled him, he read the address. "Mine!" he yelled, "They're for me!"

     "They wouldn't have delivered my stuff so late anyway," Princess sulked.

     Fang ripped open the letter and read a letter in his friend's untidy scrawl.

                        Fang- meet me on Chia Close, midnight tonight.
                        We'll teach those stupid Grundos a lesson they'll
                        never forget. Poison.

     He tossed the letter on the floor carelessly and wandered off to find something to eat.

     "Hmmm..." he muttered, catching a whiff of something unusual. He sniffed the paw he'd been holding the letter with and licked it carefully. "Hey, what's this?"

***

54279 Market Street, Neopia Central

     The doorbell chimed in the rambling stone mansion that the Shoyru Poison lived in with her odd owner.

     The black Shoyru opened the door and noticed a small parcel lying on the doorstep. She picked it up and saw a small piece of paper underneath it.

     She read the paper first, and recognised her friend Fang's neat writing.

     Hey, Poison, meet me on Chia Close tonight, I've got a great way to scare those little loser Grundos. See ya there, Fang.

     Fang? Idea? The two didn't mix. Still, it sounded interesting- plus, she was the brains of the gang, and they'd just mess up horribly without her.

     The second package was bulky. Poison ripped it open to reveal a floppy Lenny plushie. A note in pink and blue was taped on.

     Would you hurt a cute little Lenny like this one? Amazingly, some people would. Support the unpopular pets of Neopia!

     Poison grinned. Tormenting unpopular pets was fun, but mutilating plushies was her favourite activity.

***

282207 Earth Faerie Close, Neopia Central

     Identical twins Snowfur and Snowtail, white Kougras, bounded in bearing mischievous grins on their faces. "Mum!" they yelled to their owner, "We're hungry!"

     There was a long silence. "Mum must be out," Snowfur commented.

     "Let's get ourselves something," advised Snowtail.

     The two scampered into the kitchen. Snowtail found a tin of flour on the counter and knocked it onto the floor.

     "Ha ha!" yelled Snowfur, "Mum's gonna kill ya when she finds this mess!"

     "I'll blame it on you, then," Snowtail retorted, picking up a pawful of the white powder and throwing it at his brother.

     Snowfur roared in surprise and scooped up some flour to throw back. "No fair!"

     But Snowtail had stopped, and was listening to something. "Someone's at the door," he said.

     "Mum'll skin us alive!" Snowfur yelped.

     The twins bounded back to the door, leaving a trail of white paw prints. Snowtail ran to a window and peered out.

     "No one's there!" he whispered.

     Snowfur opened the door. "Look, a letter!"

     The two read the letter together.

     FANG SAYS MEET HIM ON CHIA CLOSE AT MIDNIGHT. FROM HOWARD

     The note was written in Howard the Kacheek's large, shaky handwriting. Howard hadn't been with the gang in the morning, as his owner did not approve of the rowdy pets.

     "Hee hee," Snowtail giggled, "That's where those Grundos live!"

***

393318 Main Street, Neopia Central

     Howard's owner looked sadly at her pet. She didn't have the money to buy books for him, so her poor blue Kacheek was a little on the dull side. He wasn't ever mean though.

     He'd started hanging out with the Popular Pets gang because he didn't have any other friends. Of course, his owner didn't like them, but it broke her heart to see poor Howard so lonely.

     She looked dubiously at his dinner for tonight, a thick blue soup. She'd wanted something special for him, and it had been the cheapest thing she could find.

     Howard seemed to be enjoying it, though. His owner braced herself, and said, "There was a letter for you today."

     He looked up from his bowl and grinned. "Really, Mom?"

     "Yes. Should I read it to you?"

     The dim-witted Kacheek thought about it for a few moments, then nodded.

     She read the letter. "Howard----it's us, Snowfur and--- Snowtail, meet us---- on ---- Chia Close." There were blots and smears from where the twins had fought over who got to write the letter.

     "Can I go, Mom?" Howard asked enthusiastically.

     "Well..." his owner paused. With an inward sigh, she told him, "Sure. Have fun, sweetie. But finish your soup first."

***

Chia Close

     A blue Lenny flopped down onto the sidewalk in front of the old, abandoned house on the corner of Bread Street. "Fang?" she called, "Snowfur? Snowtail? Howard?"

     A mutant Elephante shambled out of the shadows and grinned lopsidedly. "A Lenny," it rasped around deformed tusks, three eyes rolling, "I hate Lennies. They aren't popular at all."

     The Lenny looked furious. "I'm a Shoyru, you idiot mutant! Who're you calling a Lenny?"

     "You," drawled the Elephante, "And soon as my gang gets here, we're gonna rip you to bits."

     Two identical yellow Chias exploded from the bushes and attacked the squabbling pets. "Yee! Unpopular pets! Hi-yah!"

     The Elephante trumpeted and knocked his attacker into the yard of the old house.

     Strait into the dragonbuds.

     "Yeek!" shrieked the Chia, "Help!"

     "This is your gang?" the Lenny squawked at the Elephante, beating the mutant over the head with a powerful wing.

     "Help!" the Elephante yelped, "You're attackin' me! Poison! Howard! Snowfur! Snowtail! Somebody!"

     He blundered backwards into the dragonbuds. "Ahhh! Help me! HELP MEEEEE!"

***

Across the street, Zarkon joined his sister in gales of laughter. There'd been no trouble faking notes from each of the gang members. It had been so easy to douse Fang's note in Elephante transmogrification potion. Poison had played happily with the magical Lenny plushie, and from all indications Snowfur and Snowtail had heartily enjoyed covering themselves in Chia flour. Howard hadn't showed up yet, but there was no doubt that the 'soup' he'd eaten had done its work.

***

Several streets away

     Howard was hopelessly lost, and something didn't feel right about his legs. He scratched his head and found more than the usual amount of hair.

     "Guys?" the blue Moehog called uncertainly, "You there?"

     A scream of fear and gales of laughter drifted over from a neighbouring street.

     Howard took a good look at his arm. Something was weird. The hoof gave that away.

     "Guys?" he called again, "Anybody here?"

The End

Author's Note: The names and addresses of the characters in this story have been made up. Any resemblance to real pets is completely fictional.

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