A Grundo's Guide to the Poetry Contest
DEEP CATACOMBS - Ah, it's official. Out of all of the beverages Ye Olde Coffee
Shoppe has to offer, the Sourmelon Brew which was released only a few weeks
ago is the best. You'll find the Sourmelons squeezed into...sorry. I'm actually
not here to bore the pants off of you (believe it or not) while talking about
coffee. I was just relaxing while thinking about what my next article for Neopia's
Almost Gummy News Source should be. I noticed there was a Week 58 issue on the
table. I looked through it and saw my old article "A Grundo's Guide to
the Deep Catacombs". I scanned the article (which explained how to get
into each section of the Deep Catacombs) and that got me thinking (that doesn't
happen too often). Maybe the answer to what article should I do next is staring
up at my face. So now, I'm going to go into more detail in this article which
I call A Grundo's Guide to the Poetry Contest.
Grundo's Guide to the Deep Catacombs" was released I only had two
poems in the Poetry Contest. Now I have nearly ten. I'm still no master, but
I think the tips I'm going to offer you, will certainly come in handy.
Tip One: Poem Topic - The topic of a poem could either make or break
your chances at getting that trophy. The topic doesn't really matter but some
topics have been used so many times (e.g. the Turmaculus) that they're getting
sort of old. You want to pick a poem that has barely been written about and
that can easily be rhymed about. If your poem is called something like Ode to
Tuskaninnys then you'll have to be careful, not many words rhyme with Tuskaninny
(Huskaminny?) so you might want to rethink the topic. After you take those two
tips into consideration, nearly any topic will work. Check the Neopedia, the
Gallery of Evil, some old New Features pages or just explore a bit to find a
topic that fits.
Tip Two: Poem Type - The wonderful world of poetry (hey, that's a good
idea for a new world...) is so complex because poem can be produced in so many
ways. It doesn't matter if your poems rhyme or not either! Some people think
poems that don't rhyme are just lazy, but stringing together words that just
sound kind of neat together is easier said than done. A haiku, a sonnet or an
acrostic poem all have a good chance at winning as long as they're well written.
A haiku (which consists of three lines) is sort of small. You might want to
try putting in several haiku (as if each haiku was a different verse) together.
I've noticed that regular rhyming poems win more than others. It could be fact,
or maybe my imagination.
Tip Three: Writing The Poem - OK, now you have a topic. You are going
to write a regular, rhyming poem about...the Grundo Spider. You chose the Grundo
Spider because you are so smart, you took my tip and you looked in the Gallery
of Evil. You also chose to do a basic rhyming poem because you trust my judgement
that I think rhyming poems win more than haiku or sonnets. Good for you. Now,
think of the format you are going to write with. Will it be several verses of
four lines? Or maybe there will be no verses and very line just rhymes with
the next. The choice is yours. Now, if you are going to write about the Grundo
Spider (the format will be verses with four lines) you want to think about what
you want to say and then you make it rhyme. If you want to tell the world he
lives in a cave, say that. 'The Grundo Spider lives in a cave,' can be your
first line. Then next line has to end in an easy-to-rhyme-word. If you want
to say he's alone, make it something like this: 'All alone without a friend,'
Now if you want to tell everyone how dangerous he is put something like: 'Do
not enter his dark cavern,' Finish it with something that rhymes with friend.
I can think of a good one. 'For it would be your end!' Just keep repeating the
sequence until you're done.
Tip Four: Humour - Now, you have the poem. There is one more thing I
want you to include: humour. It doesn't even have to be too funny, the humour
is just to brighten it up. For instance, in The Shrine of Coltzan I ended it
saying it was down for maintenance, as if it was a machine. In my poem called
It's Time to Pick Your Own I searched around for berries but I only found things
like dung. I found a Voidberry and I got excited only to find it was nearly
worthless. See, that's not that funny and it won...not funny at all.
There you have it. With this information, nearly anyone can write a winning
poem. Remember, don't think that the prize for winning the Poetry Contest. On
Koi Day I won 1,000 NP and a Disco Fever Paint Brush! That's worth nearly 100,000
NP! OK, I think I've done enough bragged enough for a day. Just follow these
tips, and you may notice the chances of you winning the Poetry Contest increase.
Until next time, bye!