Is Your NeoHome Good Enough For You and Your Pets?
NeoHomes, the newest and greatest invention for NeoPets
and their owners, right? Wrong. Think about it. Do you really believe
that cardboard, straw, twigs, bamboo, chocolate, jelly, white chocolate,
or clouds can keep your NeoPet(s) safe? Or dry? Or happy? It's much more
sensible to build your home out of wood, stone, bricks, marble, gold,
silver, or transparishield. They are all strong, sturdy, dependable materials.
But there is a downside to all of these materials, even the better ones.
Let us compare these building resources.
Now that the prices are known, on with the comparison!
Cardboard is by far the cheapest material, but is also by far the flimsiest,
worst material out there. It crumbles, it deteriorates, it biodegrades,
it is just horrible! How would you like to live in a cardboard box? I
didn't think you would. Cardboard is a definite no-no unless your pet
likes homeless chic as a theme. If your pet really doesn't mind living
in cardboard, go right ahead.
Straw is the second cheapest. OK, don't get me started on straw, I mean,
HELLO! What are you, the first little pig? That house will blow away in
a snap if you didn't secure it some how. Let's see, glue would take too
much time and effort.......hmmmmmmm........ Ah Ha! Tape!! Tape your straw
house together, tape it the ground, and viola! Straw house a la NeoPets!
But seriously, people. Straw? Dried grass. Very bland, very bug infested,
very itchy, very flammable. It is preferable over cardboard as it is country
chic. Add some floral decor and it could look pretty nice. But watch out
for those bugs, and absolutely NO candles inside the house!
Again, I use this analogy....... What are you, the second little pig?
Twigs, what can I say, twigs are twigs. They are like branches only smaller.
They are a pretty good deal as they are cheap yet they give you a short
term commitment. They should hold up for at least three months max. This
is preferable to pets that only want to stay in one area for a short period
of time. Twigs are very travel friendly. Pack them up, bring your house
with you wherever you go. But watch out for those strong winds. And stay
away from the idea of indoor campfires. Don't keep pet woodpeckers. And
rain is kind of a threat to twigs also. It'll rot the wood and invite
infestations of grubs and icky stuff like that.
Three Words: No Pet Pandas.
Wood is good. (Hey, I'm a poet!) It holds up for quite a while. It is,
well, wood. Most of the twig rules apply to wood.
Chocolate and White Chocolate
Simple rules. Chocolate will melt causing great chocolate floods. But
if you ever get hungry, you can just take out a chunk of your wall for
a snack. It is very difficult to keep files and other insects of of your
walls, but you'll get used to it. You may find that an increased number
of friends want to come over when you get a chocolate room.
Jelly is a highly developed form of wall texture and is highly recommended
by me and everyone I know.
Stone Brick and Marble
These materials are all highly dependable, very chic, very elegant, but
not very much fun. I you prefer beauty over quality, then use these.
Very comfortable. You will save a lot of money on beds if you get this
room. Sleep on the floor. Much more cozy than even the fluffiest bed.
Silver and Gold
Very fashionable, but smugglers may be running away with chunks of your
house to sell.
The best! No Doubt about it ladies and jellyspoons! This stuff is the
best thing to build your walls out of. (I'm not quite sure what it does
or is, but I'm afraid if I don't say it's the best It'll hurt me.)
Now that we've discussed the materials, I must explain
to you that it doesn't matter which you choose, because NeoHomes are always
safe and nothing bad ever can happen to them unless you destroy them.
So use whatever you want to build them.