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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 18th day of Hiding, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 128 > Articles > More Item Descriptions for the Alternative Neopian

More Item Descriptions for the Alternative Neopian

by simsman24000

Also by too_kule ;)

SM: Y'know, I'm not one to write good introductions… so here's TK.

TK: If that's the price of getting my name first for the first article… Welcome, folks! Last time, Simsman and I feebly attempted to entertain you by presenting sixty-five items with different descriptions.

SM: It was sixty-six, TK. It just said sixty-five in the introduction.

TK: Okay, okay… I can't count.

SM: Clearly.

TK: Either way, we've presented you with sixty-five more items with alternative descriptions -- hence the amazingly clever title. Enjoy!

***

Brick Cheese
One bite, and you'll kiss your hunger goodbye! And your molars.

Electric Evil Fuzzle
Three words that don't belong in the same name. Fear its shocking malevolent cuteness.

Chokato Plushie
Unlike most Chokatos, this one is, well, fake.

Pull Along Scarab
Great fun for any pet who likes to carry around a ten-pound bug all day.

Jhudora Snowglobe
As if this Dark Faerie didn't have enough problems, now she's stuck in a stupid ball.

Tax Beast Plushie
The only toy that millionaires don't want.

PIZZA OF DEATH
Mmm. It looks, erm... scrumptious?

Usuki Dream Car
Wait, wait! Usuki Dream WHAT? I'm pretty sure I saw 'car' there, didn't I?

Dwoobaphone
The perfect device for any pet looking to produce Dwoobas. Whatever that means.

Tonu Face Mask
With this piece of equipment, even the ugliest face can be hidden! Here you go, TK.

Slimy Usul Cake
Meuka's last dish as a chef. Want a slice?

Clamade
Eeewwwwww! It's not diet!

Halloween Meerca Gnome
Who wouldn't want a devilish-looking Meerca guarding their tulips?

Mummified Hot Dog
Mmm, takes like embalming fluid! Yum!

Robo Kau
It's a good thing it doesn't come with electronic dung....

NeoWart Fungus
This item was created by scraping off whatever is growing on Sims's feet.

Simon and Milo CD
Those sure are some funny looking Aishas.

Screwtop
Modelled and inspired by Sims himself.

Invisible Anubis Hehe, yeah, of COURSE it's just invisible. Oh, yeah, I TOTALLY believe that it's not imaginary. *snickers*

Chia Skunk Tail
The only scent that defeats TK's odor after a workout.

Spoppy
Who needs the Petpet when you've got its name? Spoppy... Spoppyoppy... Spoppityoppity...

Non-Magical Yellow Meerca Plushie
Not to be confused with the regular Yellow Meerca Plushie, which is also non-magical.

Potion of Evil
Trust me, the effects of this brew are REALLY vile. Oh, and the similar smell to Tuskaninny Morphing Potion isn't coincidental.

How To Be A Model
An in-depth guide to dipping yourself in boiling plastic.

Peanut Butter Pizza
Kind of makes you wish you'd have fallen victim to that bank account scam and could be eating at the Soup Kitchen like those homeless pets... lucky pets.

Pink Evil Fuzzle
If you woke up with pink fur and a cheaply stitched mouth, you'd be a little evil too.

Broken Pink Evil Fuzzle
If you tried to take over the world while forgetting you're just a toy, you might be a little broken too.

Jhudora (TCG)
What the heck is a ticig?

Sticky Snowflake Stamp
The first world is implied. It IS a stamp, after all.

Yoyo of Death
Hehe, this is so fun! Up, down, up, do-- AHHHH! HELP ME! OH PLEASE, NOOOO!

Real Cheese Cheesecake
A nice break from the Fake Cheese Cheesecake if you ask me.

Everything, Volume 1 (TCG)
When your pet desires some mild bedtime reading.

Slimesicle
Ewwwww! There's a fly on my Slimesicle! Pfft, no way I'm eating this now.

Chocolate Covered Fish
Leave it to the Food Shop to ruin a perfectly good sturgeon.

Tyrannian Salad
For the cannibalistic, dirty, smelly, screaming, violent, aggressive, and health-conscious caveman.

Pink Brain Tree Plushie
I think there's something the Brain Tree isn't telling us…

SHFISS Stamp
Featuring Neopia's only shifiss.

Snowball Club
No girls allowed

Petpets Stamp
Sure, you could make stamps out of paper, but sometimes you've just got to be creative...

Where's My Mummy
I don't know.

Brown Sauce
Wow. That's just... wow.

Bit of Barbed Wire
Go ahead, give it to your Neopet. Maybe it'll cheer him up after the poisonous jelly you fed him earlier.

Light Faerie Eraser
Use only if you encounter a Light Faerie that you dislike!

Mis-shapen Pot
Clearly, Adam isn't an expert at ceramics.

Scary Spider
Aaah.

Invisible Muffin
Some people are just stupid like that.

The Big Book of Karma
All the Poor Dr_Death comics you could ever dream of!

When the Wind Blows
It makes a 'whoosh' sound.

When All Else Fails...
Give up because you're not clever enough.

Fighting Fire with Fire
An early theory quickly disproved by the discovery of water.

Meerca Whoopee Cushion
Eeeww! TK, was that you?

Sliding Candychan Puzzle
It'd be much better if it were at least somewhat fun to solve.

Jahbal Plushie
Either I've gone crazy, or Jahbal packed on a few during spring break.

Cool Purple Teddy Bear
I'm much more interested in the Uncool Purple Teddy Bear.

Sharp Fire Disc
Nobody really cares about the sharpness of it as much as the thousand-degree fire flying off it.

Science Is Fun!
No, it's not.

Organic Pineapple
I'm sorry, but I like my pineapples artificial.

Ugga Melon
That's Tyrannian for 'I can't believe I'm eating fruit with hair'

Traditional Welsh Usuki
Originally called the 'Nobody but Adam Would Ever Buy this Usuki in their Right Mind Usuki'. I preferred the first one, honestly.

Vegetarian Meat Pie
For the vegetarian with the low will power.

Chocolates
Warning: May contain traces of chocolate.

Snow Slorg
Simsman's only friend. I'll honestly pity him when summer comes around.

1 Asparagus and Leek Sandwich
Take it as a blessing the other three disappeared.

Scorchio Calculator
A tad difficult if the math problem is 10+10.

Grimilix Stamp
When licking stamps, some of them can be considered grim licks. *cheesy pun*

This is too_kule, signing off from that one tree next to the house belonging to that long-winded Bruce who invites me over for tea every sixth Sunday of the month ranting on and on about his Tigersquash crops on Mystery Island which doesn't make sense on account of there are no Tigersquash crops on Mystery Island on account of they're retired. You know which tree I'm talking about? Good. Over and out.

Drat! It is I, Simsman, who has been defeated yet again by TK's evil and long-winded "over and out" nonsense. But next issue, NEXT ISSUE! Oh, victory will taste so sweet. Like a lollipop. Or maybe some cake. Yeah, that's good. Cake.

Week 128 Related Links

Memories of a Lord: Darigan's Wakening
Shard's heart skipped a beat. "Other... night? How long have I been here?"

by too_kule



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