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As you may recall, last year at this time I wrote and article called "An
Amateur Psychic's Guide to the Future of Neopia ". In that article, I predicted
what sort of things we might expect to see in the Year 5. So now I'm going to
recap this year so we can all see how really off the mark I was on some things.
Then I'm going to make some fresh predictions. I bet you're so excited about this
that you can hardly wait for me to finish this paragraph! Okay, so you're not
that excited. But I can almost guarantee that you'll be surprised, astonished,
and amazed by what I said last year. And even if you're not, at least you'll have
a great laugh at my expense.
NEW MYSTERY
LAST YEAR'S PREDICTION: "It's been a long time since Neopia had a good
mystery to solve, like the murders in the Ski Lodge or the extremely bad meal
in Coltzan's Palace. This looks like a perfect opportunity to have a good mystery
to solve, complete with prizes awarded at the end."
Whoa! I was right on the mark with THAT one. The Volcano Mystery in October
provided us with a bunch of missing characters from Mystery Island. All I won
was an avatar, but at least I won SOMETHING. And winning ANYTHING in a huge
Neopian mystery plot is quite an achievement. But personally I was happy there
was a plot at all. I was afraid we would skip merrily into Year 6 without one
and I would look really foolish.
THIS YEAR'S PREDICTION: We have had mysteries to solve in the Lost Desert,
Terror Mountain, Mystery Island (twice) and the Space Station. So now I'm going
to really go out on a limb. I predict that there will be either a puzzle to
solve (like the Gadgadsbogen Feast puzzle) or a full blown mystery to solve
in either the Haunted Woods (for Halloween) or Maraqua. Yes, I STILL believe
Maraqua will rise again. I also believe in the Easter Cybunny too.
NEW WORLD
LAST YEAR'S PREDICTION: "Okay, Jelly World is coming. That's hardly a psychic
prediction. But what will make this new world from the others? Sure, it will
have games, shops and probably a Wheel of Gooiness. There might even be a new
Jelly Faerie sending people on quests for silly stuff in exchange for pointless
items. It's also possible that Maraqua, that forgotten yet ever present whirlpool
on the Neopian Map, will resurface. The Psychic Stone predicts there will be...
ummm... a new world... somewhere."
Okay, so I was totally off the mark about what to expect from Jelly World.
In fact, not only is there NOT a "Wheel of Gooiness"-- officially speaking,
there isn't even a Jelly World. And despite all of the gurgling noises the Bubbling
Pit made and the Mysterious Statue popping up and all of those Maraquan Neopets
floating by, Maraqua didn't make a splash either. But we DID get the two new
"mini-worlds" of Roo Island and Kiko Lake. So I should get at least a mini-bonus
point for that.
THIS YEAR'S PREDICTION: In the spirit of "if they announce it, there's actually
a chance it will happen", I predict that out of literally thin air, Neopia will
suddenly have a moon and that it will be called Kreludor. I also predict that
since it is supposed to be released in summer of 2004 that it will show up sometime
in 2005.
So do I have a prediction for a new world that hasn't been announced? You
bet your Sweetcorn Snowbunny Loaf I do. With the popularity of Usuki dolls and
a shop that's actually named Usukiland, there's a chance that Usukiland will
actually rate a world of it's own. The Usuki-Con convention will have a formal
showcase and all of the links that are jumbled together in the Usukiland shop
will have little homes of their own. There could even be a Super Fashion Usuki
Playmate Contest in which people could win prizes for designing new outfits.
There might even be a Usuki skiing game.
It's either that or Poogle Mountain will show up on that snowy patch at the
bottom of the main map that is hauntingly unoccupied. Either one. Take your
pick.
NEW WAR
LAST YEAR'S PREDICTION: "The World page announced a Tyrannian Land War
even before the Meridell War broke out. So the Psychic Stone predicts there
will be another war either very soon or ages from now. It will happen somewhere
between two sides for an extremely foggy reason."
Not only was there NOT a new war this year, but the Tyrannian Land War turned
out to be a game they had planned. And the Tyrannian Land War doesn't even appear
on the World Page anymore. So maybe the next big mystery to solve will be to
figure out what happened to it.
THIS YEAR'S PREDICTION: I think... dare I even speak the words? Dr. Sloth
will not only make a glorious comeback, but there will be a war involving the
moon of Kreludor I mentioned before. Of course, there have been rumors of Dr.
Sloth's return as far back as when you could buy a Lu Codestone for 500 Neopoints,
so maybe you shouldn't get your hopes up.
NEW BATTLEDOME STUFF
LAST YEAR'S PREDICTION: "There WILL be a Petpet Battle Arena. I have a
feeling there will be a whole new batch of Battledome challengers in the future.
But they won't be evil and menacing. The Psychic Stone predicts the new Battledome
challengers will be cute and cuddly. With terrifying Hidden Tower weapons. So
be prepared to be massacred by Peppy Puppyblew and his Dog Bone of Doom."
Okay, you can snicker loudly, point at me and laugh. I was totally wrong.
The Petpet Battle Arena doesn't even involve weapons... or much of anything
else for that matter. But you CAN raise the level of your Petpet that way. Of
course, that doesn't seem to be of much help in the REAL Battledome, though.
THIS YEAR'S PREDICTION: To be completely on the safe side, so I won't look
really stupid NEXT January, I predict that there will be new vegetable-related
Hidden Tower Battledome Weapons. You can't pick more of a sure thing than THAT.
But I also believe that the Secret Ninja Training School will actually open
it's doors. The price for training will be those red codestones that have been
popping up in private shops throughout Neopia.
NEW PAINT BRUSHES
LAST YEAR'S PREDICTION: "The first paint brush that pops out of my crystal
ball is the Medieval Paint Brush. The Psychic Stone also predicts that... in
the fuzzy future... paint brushes will come in a choice of male or female for
certain kinds of paint brushes."
Okay, so I was a tad off the mark with the Meridell Paint Brush, but we DID
get a Darigan Paint Brush, so I should get a half a credit for that. And I definitely
get full credit for the Usuki Paint Brush, which DOES come in both a male and
a female version.
THIS YEAR'S PREDICTION: I haven't the foggiest clue about what the neogods
and neogoddesses of Neolympus are gonna come up with. I never saw the Snow Paint
Brush coming. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you can get one by tossing
a Christmas Paint Brush and a White Paint Brush in the Mystery Island Cooking
Pot. So just to fill up space here, I'll pull something at random out of my
Woolly JubJub Hat. Since there will be a Secret Ninja Training School, I predict
that there will be a Ninja Paint Brush. Okay, I said it. I'll probably be here
next year apologizing for that one.
NEW FEATURES
LAST YEAR'S PREDICTION: "The Psychic Stone predicts that galleries will
be the new prized feature. You will now have the option of opening a gallery
in addition to owning a shop. It will be just like a shop, except that nothing
in a gallery will have any prices. The items there can't be sold-- but they
can be viewed. Of course, you will have to pay to open a gallery and to upgrade
it, but at least you can keep the things you want to sell and the things you
want to show off separate."
EEK! I wasn't even close-- unless you count the fact that there is now a Gallery
Spotlight. You don't count that? I didn't think so.
THIS YEAR'S PREDICTION: Well... new features are hard to predict, even for
the Psychic Stone. But there is a good chance that there will be a change in
the Neogreetings. In addition to sending one to someone you have the e-mail
address for, there will be an option to send one to someone on your Neofriend
list. A notification will be sent automatically to your Neomail inbox with a
message that reads something like "You have a Neogreeting waiting for you!"
You then click on the Neogreetings link in your Neomail options and there will
be a link there for you to click on to read any Neogreetings that have been
sent to you. Sounds like a spiffy idea huh? Think of it! All of those cool Neogreetings
will get a LOT more use! Especially THIS
one...
NEW PETS
LAST YEAR'S PREDICTION: "Psychic Stone predicts that some old pets will
receive radical makeovers. For all of you Lenny owners out there, brace yourselves."
Not only was I incredibly right about this, I was more right than I could
have imagined. The list of redrawn Neopets is practically endless. But the Lenny
DID get a makeover and it actually looks cool now. Of course, this puts a wet
blanket on all of the joy of making fun of Lennies now.
THIS YEAR'S PREDICTION: There WILL be at least one new Neopet in the upcoming
year. It was hinted at in the editorial, and it will probably be something like
a bear. But will there be OTHER new kinds of Neopets? My Neopoints are on some
sort of new Neopet being found on Kreludor, Neopia's soon-to-be-discovered moon.
Since it's a moon creature, it could have three heads, suction-cup toes and
the neck of a giraffe, for all I know. But it will be something incredibly unexpected
and bizarre and limited edition-- you can bet on it!
NEW PLACES
LAST YEAR'S PREDICTION: "Neopian Schools will be coming sometime soon.
I think that there will be an Appliance Shop."
Not only was I wrong about Neoschools coming to Neopia in the Year 5, but
I was gloriously wrong about Neoschools coming to Neopia in the Year 5. And
there sure wasn't any Appliance Shop in Neopia Central. At least there wasn't
when I looked sixty seconds ago.
THIS YEAR'S PREDICTION: Neopian Schools will be coming sometime soon. I can
predict this with complete confidence because... I'm not only an fool, I'm an
optimistic fool. And I am still clinging to the hope that a new and different
kind of a shop will make an appearance. If not an Appliance Shop, then perhaps
a sporting goods store, like a Ski Shop on Terror Mountain. I really don't care
what it is as long as it's not another food shop. My Neopets are bloated enough
as it is.
NEW NEOHOME STUFF
LAST YEAR'S PREDICTION: "The Psychic Stone predicts that there will be
an improvement in Neohomes. The satellite-view of the inside of your home will
be replaced with a perspective like you have in your Neohome gardens. Your furniture
will be seen from ground level and will actually-- and finally-- look like the
furniture you paid thousands of neopoints for. And the most long awaited Neohome
feature will be added too. You will now be able to buy windows for your
home that you can hang all those drapes you bought on. And the Psychic Stone
predicts that a nifty new item will go on sale in the garden shop. A swimming
pool! The garden shop may even start selling lawn furniture too. Now THAT
would be cool."
Nope. They didn't change the way you view your furniture. And you can still
buy curtains for non-existent windows. But the garden shop DOES sell lawn furniture
now. And we didn't get swimming pools, but we got the next-best thing-- ponds.
THIS YEAR'S PREDICTION: I'm still clinging to the belief that they will make
windows an item you can buy and hang on your walls like posters. But I also
predict that there will be some terrifying new developments concerning Neohomes.
You will have to start paying property taxes as a random event. And everyone
will rush to upgrade the security system on their Neohomes when the Aisha Thieves
are able to steal stuff out of your Neohome as a random event too.
LAST YEAR'S CLOSING PARAGRAPH: "Okay, I know what you're thinking. The
Psychic Stone is really the Psycho Stone. But some of the things I have predicted
may actually happen. Just remember where you heard it first. And if none of
this stuff happens, just promise me one thing, okay? Don't neomail me to tell
me that I'm an fool until the Month of Sleeping, Year 6!"
THIS YEAR'S CLOSING PARAGRAPH: Okay, I know what you're thinking. The Psychic
Stone is really the Psycho Stone. But some of the things I have predicted may
actually happen. Just remember where you heard it first. And if none of this
stuff happens, just promise me one thing, okay? Don't neomail me to tell me
that I'm an fooluntil the Month of Sleeping, Year 7!
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