| NEOPIA CENTRAL - Now that we have been thrust kicking and screaming into Neopia's
Year 5, it's hard imagine what the future will hold. Some things that will come
are already set in stone. Not set in me silly, I mean some things have
already been announced, like Neopian Schools or Jelly World. But there are so
many other things that could happen in Year 5, that it makes your heart
beat faster than the Snowager wipes people out in the Battledome to think about
it.
So here I am, the Psychic Stone, ready to predict the future of Neopia. Okay,
I'm not really a psychic. I'm more of a wishful thinker. But bear with me anyway.
NEW MYSTERY
It has already been announced that although the war between Meridell and Darigan
is over, that the plot will continue. Personally, I think this whole thing is
fraught (Neopian Word of the Day: fraught) with possibilities. It's been a long
time since Neopia had a good mystery to solve, like the murders in the Ski Lodge
or the extremely bad meal in Coltzan's Palace. This looks like a perfect opportunity
to have a good mystery to solve, complete with prizes awarded at the end. Just
because Darigan won the war, it doesn't mean the whole deal with the Orb is
over. If ever there was a mystery that needed solving, it's who is the rightful
owner of the Orb. Maybe the Orb might disappear before Lord Darigan reclaims
it. It sure would be fun to insert a mystery AFTER a war. Even if there isn't
a Meridell mystery to solve, the Psychic Stone predicts there will be some
sort of mystery to solve in the future.
NEW WORLD
Okay, Jelly World is coming. That's hardly a psychic prediction. But what
will make this new world different from the others? Sure, it will have
games, shops and probably a Wheel of Gooiness. There might even be a new Jelly
Faerie sending people on quests for silly stuff in exchange for pointless items.
Whoa! Radical concept! But it may also have things we weren't really expecting.
It's quite possible that a whole new currency may be introduced. Krawk Island
has its Dubloons, right? I'm not sure what it will be, but it will probably
be something sticky. In order to buy anything in Jelly World you would first
have to build up your jelly bank roll, so to speak.
It's also possible that Maraqua, that forgotten yet ever present whirlpool
on the Neopian Map, will resurface. Like the lost city of Atlantis, Maraqua
may offer us a Roman theme, complete with Peophin-drawn chariots and toga-clad
citizens. And maybe even a Wheel of Wetness. Or a Battledome called the Crustacean
Coliseum. Personally I think there are more light bulbs of bright ideas shining
over Maraqua than Jelly World. The Psychic Stone predicts there will be... ummm...
a new world... somewhere.
NEW WAR
Personally I think the next war will be between Jelly World and Prince Peanut
Butter for possession of the Magic Bread. Okay, maybe not. And not every new
world comes complete with a war, but if Jelly World has one, it could be a lot
of laughs. I can imagine the Jelly Chia staging the whole thing. He whips up
a batch of radioactive mutant lime blobs who are bent on turning the sweet (literally)
inhabitants of orange jelly into horrible zombie Green Globs. I don't know about
you, but I sure wouldn't be able to keep a straight face fighting THAT war.
The World page announced a Tyrannian Land War even before the Meridell War
broke out. So the Psychic Stone predicts there will be another war either very
soon or ages from now. It will happen somewhere between two sides for
an extremely foggy reason. Just like the real world. But don't worry about it.
Just about everyone on the Neopets chat boards will know about it in advance
and tell you. For some odd reason, the chat boards are filled with amateur psychics.
Ummm... like me...
NEW BATTLEDOME STUFF
There WILL be a Petpet Battle Arena. If they announce it, it will come. So
the question is, how will the durn thing work? The answer is... I haven't a
clue. But I have a feeling there will be a whole new batch of Battledome challengers
in the future. But they won't be evil and menacing. The Psychic Stone predicts
the new Battledome challengers will be cute and cuddly. With terrifying Hidden
Tower weapons. So be prepared to be massacred by Peppy Puppyblew and his Dog
Bone of Doom.
NEW PAINT BRUSHES
There are an endless amount of new paint brush possibilities, but here are
a few that Jacko the Phantom Painter might actually hand you. The first paint
brush that pops out of my crystal ball is the Medieval Paint Brush. This will
be a random event exclusive to Meridell, of course. Your pet can now wear a
suit of armour or Elizabethan-style fashions all the time.
The Psychic Stone also predicts that... in the fuzzy future... paint brushes
will come in a choice of male or female for certain kinds of paint brushes.
I mean, who wants their male pet wearing a Medieval gown and a tiara? Okay,
maybe a couple of really strange people might, so you will also only be able
to paint a male pet with a Male Medieval Paint Brush or a female pet with a
Female Medieval Paint Brush. This opens the door for FASHION paint brushes.
For example, you could have a Formal Paint Brush. The Male Formal Paint Brush
would dress your pet in a tuxedo and the Female Formal Paint Brush would adorn
your pet in an evening gown. A MUST for those owners addicted to entering their
pets in the Beauty Contest.
There might even be the first actual paint brush shop in Neopia--the Fashion
Wear Shop. Paint brushes with names like "punk", "western" and "sport" could
be sold there. The Psychic Stone predicts that this will definitely happen.
When the Tax Beast starts giving money back.
NEW FEATURES
I think one of the most long-awaited new features will finally be added in
Year 5. The Psychic Stone predicts that galleries will be the new prized feature.
All of those people who dread going into private shops with 254 unbuyable plushies
in order to purchase one measly Wet Snowball for 6 Neopoints will now have some
page downloading relief. And all of those "saving for a friend" lots at the
Trading Post will disappear too. You will now have the option of opening a gallery
in addition to owning a shop. It will be just like a shop, except that nothing
in a gallery will have any prices. The items there can't be sold--but they
can be viewed. Of course, you will have to pay to open a gallery and to upgrade
it, but at least you can keep the things you want to sell and the things you
want to show off separate. The Psychic Stone predicts that Neopians will dance
in the streets on that day. The Psychic Stone also predicts that he will be
heading the Conga line. With a tambourine.
NEW PETS
Of course it's not really much of a stretch to say that with a new world there
will be new pets and new petpets. But the Psychic Stone also predicts that some
old pets will receive radical makeovers. For all of you Lenny owners out there,
brace yourselves. You may wake up one morning to find your Lenny either looks
like an eagle or a hummingbird. Or a duckbilled platypus.
NEW PLACES
Neopian Schools will be coming to sometime soon. At least that's what the
World page has promised since Dr. Sloth was in diapers. I may be going out on
a limb here, but I think putting your pet in school will make him smarter. I
have a feeling this will be a new high-score-table-trophy-getting-thing for
your pet. We have the Gourmet Food Club, the Book Club and the Beauty Contest
already. These things earn trophies for your Neopet. There could now be an Honour
Roll for your pet. The smartest ones will earn a diploma-like trophy. Or perhaps
it will be like Grundo's Gym used to be. You have to complete a series of incredibly
impossible tasks first but everyone has a chance of graduating and earning a
diploma. Perhaps every level that is completed will earn a rare book. The Psychic
Stone predicts that... ummm... pets will get smarter. The Psychic Stone also
predicts that he is going to get detention for that prediction.
The Psychic Stone will now try to recharge his failing psychic batteries with
a prediction for a new shop. I think that there will be an Appliance Shop. All
the things you wished your NeoHome had will now be available. Your kitchen
will now be complete with a refrigerator and a stove. Your bathroom will actually
have a shower stall and a--GASP--dare I say it? Toilet. All of the pets
who have been cross-eyed and holding their water since Year 1 can now breathe
a sigh of relief. There will finally be a television so you can really
watch NTV--Neopia's only television network. There will be telephones too--and
CD players for all of those CD's you already own. The Psychic Stone predicts
that this will be the hottest shop to EVER hit Neopia.
NEW NEOHOME STUFF
The Psychic Stone predicts that there will be an improvement in NeoHomes.
The satellite-view of the inside of your home will be replaced with a perspective
like you have in your Neohome gardens. Your furniture will be seen from ground
level and will actually--and finally--look like the furniture you paid thousands
of Neopoints for. And the most long awaited NeoHome feature will be added too.
You will now be able to buy windows for your home that you can hang all
those drapes you bought on. And the Psychic Stone predicts that a nifty new
item will go on sale in the garden shop. A swimming pool! The garden
shop may even start selling lawn furniture too. Now THAT would be cool.
Okay, I know what you're thinking. The Psychic Stone is really the Psycho
Stone. But some of the things I have predicted may actually happen. Just remember
where you heard it first. And if none of this stuff happens, just promise me
one thing, okay? Don't Neomail
me to tell me that I'm an idiot until the Month of Sleeping, Year 6! | 
