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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 28th day of Running, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 70 > Short Stories > Kaugal Magnolia

Kaugal Magnolia

by peachifruit

Note from the author: Before you read this story, you should be familiar with the Agent Magnolia series. If you are already, by all means, read on!

NPIA Headquarters, an Undisclosed Location Somewhere in Neopia Central

     "And so, the Chia at the food shop says, 'I'm sorry, I'll have to charge an updated price of 2,395 NP for that bunch of bananas you've got there, to help with the war effort and all.' And, so, I'm all, 'Are you out of your mind? That's outrageous!' And he's all, 'Look, lady, if you can't afford it, you can just buy something else.' And I'm all--"

     "Charlie."

     "'--I came in here for some bananas, and I'm GETTING some bananas!' And he's all, "Not unless you're paying 2,395 Neopoints, you're not!' And then--"

     "Charlie."

     "--'Well, that's just too bad, cause I'm not paying!' And so he's all, 'Then buy something else--'"

     "CHARLIE!" The rainbow Acara looked up, dropping her paddleball. "I get the point, Charlie," Magnolia told her. "You went to the food shop and couldn't buy any bananas. End of story."

     "'War effort,' he says," Charlie replied, picking up her paddleball. She set the ball on the paddle and began to play with it again, continuing her conversation. "I can't believe that soldiers need 2,395 NP in banana money to pay for the war effort."

     "Why didn't you talk to a shop wizard?" Sys-op asked.

     "Oh, I did," Charlie told her. "But then he told me I had to wait until the end of the war because of supplies needing to be bought. He told me to shop in the regular shops on the high street because the soldiers 'needed his aid.' Pshaw."

     "Well, you can wait, right? I mean, you do have bananas..." Magnolia paused as Charlie frowned. "Well, did you try the or--"

     Suddenly, the ball flew from Charlie's paddle and right past Magnolia, who ducked. It bounced from the wall and nearly hit Sys-op, hiding in a desk drawer. The door opened as the ball flew towards it, and Chief, (who had absolutely no clue what had been going on,) was the ball's next target.

Five minutes later...

     "It was Charlie's, I swear," Magnolia quickly explained.

     "Mine? YOU were the one who let him open the door!"

     "How was I supposed to know he was opening the door?"

     "Pay closer attention next time!"

     Sys-op frowned. "What was it you came in here for?" she asked.

     "Well, I came to give Magnolia her next mission, but I can see she's busy right about now," Chief replied. "Very busy."

     "I'm telling you, it was HER paddleball!" Magnolia shrieked. "Don't blame ME for it!"

     "What was that mission you were talking about earlier, anyway?" Charlie queried, sitting down.

     "Well, Main Street, a small city west of the Lost Desert, has just been robbed of every Neopoint it has." He paused. "--Had, I mean. Audrey Whitefield, allegedly who robbed the bank, is known to be behind many other robberies in the area, and was last seen living in Faerieland with a Kau named Robert. Authorities haven't seen her lately--I mean, until now--but, unfortunately, no one knows where she might be as of yet."

     "Oh?" asked Magnolia. "So, then, anything else I should know about Main Street?"

     "Not necessarily," he replied. "Central Town is located in a western part of Kookith Canyon, I think."

     "What, the pioneers had Kookiths or something?" asked Sys-op.

     "Well, maybe so. They do say that there are a lot of Kookiths in the area, though. That would make sense. Charlie, I was hoping you and Gabrielle could go as reinforcement, but where's Gabrielle, anyway?"

     "Mowing the lawn," Charlie replied. "And probably making a big show of it for the neighbours, for all I know."

Somewhere on Mystery Island

     "DIE, WEED, DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!" a starry Kyrii cried, repeatedly running a tree weed over with her lawnmower. "YOUR TIME IS SHORT, YOU PESKY LITTLE ABOMINATION!"

     Taro the yellow Chia creaked his front door open and caught Gabrielle running around her lawn. "Gabrielle!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing out there?"

     "Oh, just takin' care of the lawn, Taro! Don't mind me!"

     He quickly shut the door and turned to Natalie. "And those are our new neighbours?"

Back at Headquarters

     "I'll have to call Gabrielle to let her know when we leave," Charlie said. "And hire a gardener while I'm on the phone."

Later that night....

     "Ah... perfect."

     Adelaide, a yellow Zafara, stood back to admire her work. A large, gleaming ruby sat on her small, wooden desk, which she patted with a broad grin. Clad in her favourite orange night-gown, she quickly hid behind a wooden ottoman across from the desk to wait. A Kookith waiting for her there chirruped perkily.

     "No, quiet, Rodeo!" she whispered. "Be quiet!"

     It wasn't long before the window was suddenly shattered. A purple Wocky had made haste in creeping in through the window, taking the ruby as her own, and retreating the way she came. Adelaide, a bit late, scampered out wielding a large plank of wood.

     "I've gotcha now, ya...thieving..." she drifted off. The culprit had long since gone. Adelaide gasped, pressing her paws to her mouth. "Oh, no! Please--no!"

The Next Morning, Main Street

     "Uggh, it's hot here!" Noelle exclaimed, throwing her hair back as she rode through the town on a Kau. Main Street was a city small for its bustling population. "I don't see how you got me to go with you for reinforcement, Magnolia. It's just a bank robbery."

     "Well, it's too late to go back NOW, isn't it?" Magnolia stated.

     "Oh, it's fine," said Charlie. "We're already in town. I think it would be best if we split up here."

     "All right, then," replied Magnolia. "I'll go to the Town Hall, Noelle, you can go to the bank to ask questions, Charlie and Gabrielle, you go to the southern part of town. We'll met up at...err...the saloon, I guess. It's 10:23 now, so we should probably meet there at noon. Come on, Sys-op."

     "Come on where?"

     "I don't know--wherever I'm going!" Magnolia rode off, Sys-op clinging to her shoulder. "And will you let go? I'm not going to drop you."

Main Street City Bank

     "Good morning," Noelle greeted, standing in front of a secretary. "Is the manager in?"

     "Just left," replied the secretary, an immensely bored-looking blue Lupe, occasionally pressing a key on her typewriter. "Although I reckon I can help with whatever."

     "Perfect. I heard that a robbery took place just yesterday, correct?"

     "Mmm-hmm," the secretary mumbled in concurrence.

     "Well, I was sent by a local law and order newsletter to interview a few involved," Noelle lied. "What do you know about the event?"

     "You're actin' like this is some sorta festival happened," the secretary answered. "Wasn't no event, just a robbery."

     "I can see this is getting nowhere. Well, what was stolen?"

     "Just 'bout ev'rything in here. I heard some little girl up in the northern parta town got her parents' ruby stolen tryin' to catch 'em."

     "Oh, really? Do you know where the suspect could have gotten to?"

     "'Bout anywhere in the canyon by now. 'Course, I could be wrong."

     "Thank you--you've been a great help!" Noelle lied again. "That's about all I need to know."

     "So, watch yer step on the way out," said the secretary indignantly.

Meanwhile...

     Magnolia frowned. She'd been riding for hours--actually minutes, but Magnolia refused to hear that from her Kau--and no sight of the Town Hall anywhere. Of course, the sun was taking more of a toll on the Kau than either Magnolia or Sys-op.

     "Can we take a little break, or something?" asked the Kau, looking up.

     "Don't worry," Magnolia replied. "I think I see it up ahead." Magnolia was right; the largest building in the centre of the city was Town Hall. She and Sys-op stepped down and walked slowly to the door.

Inside

     "We need a new sheriff desperately; I won't lie," Dora, a pink Kacheek, said, standing up. "But where can we find one? No one 'round here would even think about taking the job!"

     "That's our major concern," replied a Chia villager. "All of the old sheriffs this town's had have disappeared under unknown circumstances!"

     "Actually, the last one was chased off by a crazy Eustabee, Pete," added Dora.

     "That was the mailman, Dora," replied Pete. "But, we still need to find a sheriff, Eustabee or no. That means one of YOU has to take the job."

     The group of city officials and residents stared disbelievingly at Pete. "You're kidding," said Dora.

     "Don't worry!" said a local baker. "I'm sure someone'll come around and take the job! Maybe even right now!"

     Call it dumb luck, call it lack thereof, but at that very moment, Agent_Magnolia and Sys-op happened to waltz through the door. "Um...excuse me," said Sys-op. "But is this Town Hall?"

     "Oh, you're it!" cried Dora. "That's the new sheriff! Problem resolved! Well, here's your star, here's your hat, now go save the bank and you can all go home now!" Dora handed Magnolia a golden star, a hat, and quickly darted out.

     "Aww, look at this, Sys-op; they think I'm their new sheriff!" said Magnolia with a laugh.

     "Hummm, Magnolia," replied Sys-op. "I don't think this is a joke."

Meanwhile

     "Hmm, I can't see anything suspicious for miles, Gab," said Charlie, riding atop Seraphine, (as the Kau's name had proven to be.) She squinted, shading the sun from her eyes with her paw. "Do you think we ought to head back?"

     "Nah, let's keep goin' till noon," replied Gabrielle from behind. "Oh, wait, who's that?"

     In the distance, a crying, yellow Zafara and her Kookith sat on the stairway to a residence. Gabrielle and Charlie advanced towards to ask why she was distraught. "Good afternoon," said Charlie. "May I ask why you're crying?"

     "I can cry whenever I so please, thanks very much," replied the Zafara, looking up.

     "And I respect that," added Charlie. "Come on, Gab."

     The Zafara sat up. "No, wait, I'm sorry. I'm Adelaide. I'm cryin' 'cause I lost my parent's ruby, and now they're so mad. You'd think I wasn't even their daughter." She stood up, holding her Kookith

     "How'd you lose the ruby?" asked Gabrielle.

     "Well," she began. "I tried to lure that bank robber in here--you know, she always steals stuff at night--and so, I put the ruby in the open so she'd see it, and then she came in and stole it before I could even catch her! And it was a family heirloom!"

     "Well, that was stup--"

     "--endous! It was a brilliant idea, but it just didn't work out right," said Charlie. "I'm Charlie, this is Gabrielle. We'll help you find your ruby, don't worry."

     Adelaide gasped. "You will? Oh, I can't thank you enough!" she cried. "I promise--I'll make it up!"

     "Aww, you don't need to," said Gabrielle. "We were planning on finding this robber anyway. Why don't you tag along? We need to get back to the sal--"

     Suddenly, a gunshot could be heard in the distance. "EEEEEE! SHE'S BACK! SHE'S BAAAAACK!"

     "That doesn't sound good," said Charlie. "Let's hurry."

Main Street Saloon

     Noelle cautiously opened the double-doors to the saloon and stepped inside to find Magnolia with Sys-op and a group of city officials beside her. "Magnolia?" she asked.

     "Sheriff to you," Magnolia joked. "Where're Gabrielle and Charlie?"

     "Wait-wait-wait a minute--sheriff?" Noelle asked.

     "Yeah, these nice people needed a sheriff, and they hire Mag," said Sys-op. "I sincerely pity them."

     "Shut up."

     Suddenly, a purple Wocky rushed past the saloon, followed by a large mob of townspeople. "GET BACK HERE!" a Shoyru exclaimed.

     "Who's--" Before Magnolia could ask anything, Gabrielle came through the doors.

     "Magnolia, there you are! Audrey's just stolen someone's life savings. She's leading the villagers on a wild goose chase."

     Magnolia stood up to follow Gabrielle back out. The Wocky had just turned around and darted into the saloon from which Magnolia just emerged. "Oh! Great!" Magnolia exclaimed. "I'll go back in. Um...you big mob of villagers, you go around to guard the back exit. Charlie--Charlie! There you are! Who's the Zafara?"

     "There isn't any time for that now," she replied.

     "Oh, right. Well, you go around with the villagers to the back. Where's Noelle?"

     "She's still in there," said Sys-op, re-entering the saloon. Magnolia followed suit. Upon opening the doors, they immediately saw Audrey, flaunting a brown sack.

     "Oh, why hello!" she said. "Finally come to get me, eh?"

     "Wasn't stealing from the bank enough?" Magnolia asked.

     "Why, certainly!" Audrey replied. "I just wanted another souvenir to take home to Faerieland with me. You know, I really will miss this place."

     "Hand it over!"

     "Make me!" She paused. "Or, better yet," she headed through the door. "Catch me. But not without a bit of a delay."

     Suddenly, a group of assorted pets walked through the door, headed by a red Mynci. "Oh, give me a break!" said Magnolia. Simultaneously, the group drew a full ensemble of weapons. "...Not...literally."

     "See y'around, sheriff!" Audrey left the saloon.

     Magnolia looked around nervously. "U-uh, w-who's first?"

     Noelle stood up from behind the bar. "Magnolia, I'll go after Audrey, as long as you stay here. I'll get Charlie and Gabrielle to help."

     "Th-thanks..." Magnolia replied. "STAY AWAY! OR I'LL SIC SYS-OP ON YOU!"

Outside

     Noelle ran outside of the saloon to the crowd, headed by Gabrielle and Charlie. "Where'd she go?" The group pointed left. "Thanks! Magnolia needs a bit of help, by the by." Noelle climbed atop Seraphine, sitting nearby. "Okay, onward!"

     "You've got to be kidding me," replied Seraphine. "I JUST stopped for a break!"

     "Oh, please? This is important!"

     Seraphine sighed. "O-KAY, I'll go after her."

     And so, Noelle rode off. Audrey hadn't run off too earlier, so it was no effort to catch up. Actually catching her was a different story. The two rode out of town and through the desert until they reached a small rock formation, much like a cave, near the edge of the canyon.

     Audrey was the first to ride in. A yellow Kougra slept on the floor next to a pile of stolen riches. "ROBERT!" The Kougra sat up immediately.

     "Audrey?"

     "Get UP, Robert! That Aisha's nearly on my tail!" Unfortunately for her, Noelle had already entered the cave.

     "Ha HA!" she exclaimed. "So this is your hideaway, is it?"

     "You won't get out of here unharmed," Audrey scoffed. "Because I've got THIS!" She drew a banana from her pocket. "Uh--not that. THIS!" She quickly replaced the banana with a rod of nova.

     Noelle backed away and into a pile of rocks near the exit. As she backed into them and out of the cave, the formation began to shake. "Um...is that supposed to happen?"

     "YOU IDIOT!" Audrey screamed. "THIS ISN'T A CAVE! IT'S A SLAB OF ROCK!"

     "And that stack of rocks was holding it up." Noelle sighed. "Sometimes you villains make it too easy."

Outside Main Street Saloon

     "So, I hear you're the sheriff around here," said the red Mynci to Magnolia.

     "Uh...yes...now I am," Magnolia replied.

     "Well, don't expect that long, 'cause I'm--" Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the Mynci's hat away.

     "...bald?" Magnolia asked with a laugh. The Mynci, with a shriek, ran off in embarrassment. "Well, that was useless," she said, walking back into the saloon. To her surprise, the group of pets had been tied up together at the centre of the room.

     Gabrielle walked past, dusting her hands. "Well, problem solved! Now, where's that Audrey gal?"

     "Y-you mean--you already--" Sys-op droned off.

     "Well, this is nice and all," said Adelaide, "but I still don't have that heirloom back."

     "Well, I do." Noelle walked through the door, Seraphine carrying a load of bags and jewels. "Come pick one."

     Adelaide gasped, rushing to pick her ruby. "This one's it! Thank you so much!" She cuddled Rodeo as well as her newfound ruby. "Now we can all go home--and no more Audrey, right?"

     "Of course not," Noelle replied.

     And so, the next day, Magnolia, Sys-op, Noelle, Charlie and Gabrielle were all ready to go home. They were just about to leave when Adelaide rushed up to them. "Sheriff, I really do wish you could stay," she said to Magnolia.

     "Oh, I do, too," she replied. "But, I have to go. I'm about done here."

     "We'll miss you, Adelaide," said Charlie. "Don't worry, we'll come to visit now and then."

     The group exchanged farewells and turned to leave, riding into the sunset, (and the scene would have been very well perfect had Magnolia's Kau not tipped over and caused the others to do so as well.) Adelaide sighed. Magnolia was the best sheriff this town had had in years.

     But, meanwhile, the relentless Audrey scrambled through a mass of fallen rocks, gasping for air. "Okay, you might have gotten my riches THIS time, but I'll just keep on a-stealing! First Main Street--then Neopia Central--then...THE WOOOOORLD!"

The End?

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