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Quivel the Quiggle was a bit nervous about returning
to work with the Krawk Krew. After his unfortunate fall from grace in Faerieland,
he'd thought to retire from the business entirely. Unpaid medical bills quickly
changed his mind. The Elephante enforcers from the collection staff had threatened
to rebreak his bones in several uncomfortable areas if he wasn't able to make
payment. So here he was, taking up the camera and looking out for danger - again.
Les, Keri, and Stevo had welcomed his return
warmly enough - especially Les, who muttered things about a 'scary Chomby' and
'missing time.' Quivel didn't want to pry too much - asking questions was definitely
not always good. Instead, he'd dusted off the camera that had been abandoned
by the last Kam Krew member, and prepared for whatever the fates had in store.
Just a few weeks of work, enough to keep the bill collectors at bay, and then
he was going to retire to a nice hut on Mystery Island where the only worry
was whether or not the mystic was wearing anything under that loincloth.
This week's episode even promised to be somewhat
easy - just a walk through the PetPet exhibits at the Krawk Lair Zoo. How hard
could that be? Nothing could possibly happen at the nice safe zoo, with all
the PetPets locked away in secure enclosures. Quivel was thankful for this stroke
of luck, and carefully checked out the area where they would begin filming,
in front of the Tyrannian Area. Various PetPets from all over Tyrannia were
featured in natural habitats in this area. Even kind of pretty, in a jungle
sort of way, thought Quivel.
Stevo was setting up the Shidi foam cutout in
the enclosure of a Pet Rock named Rollin Stone. The Shidi foam had dried out
nicely, all things considered, from the Terror of the Black Pawkeet episode,
and had escaped the Turmaculus Terror without so much as a tear. "Blimey, isn't
she gorgeous?" Stevo quipped as he propped her up against a tree.
"She pays the bills," Keri snapped, "Which is
more than I can say for you sometimes."
"Don't get riled, Keri! You know you're the
love of my life..." Stevo pleaded.
"I'd better be," she said, balling her paw up
into a fist. She kissed him on the muzzle though, just the same.
"Woo-whee, love's in the air today," Les grinned.
"I was wondering what that smell was."
"Grrrrr..." Keri glared at Les, and picked up
the Pet Rock, flinging it squarely at the back of Les' head.
"Ow!" Les rubbed his fur and sulked. "I think
Rollin's feeling a bit riled today. I didn't believe you when you said he had
a tendency to launch himself at people's heads, mate, but ... now I know."
Keri smirked a moment, then went back to looking
innocent.
"Rollin! What a naughty boy!" Stevo scolded.
Rollin just lay in the grass, looking sedentary and stoic. "He's calmed down
now... let's get this show rolling. Get it? Rolling?"
Keri and Les groaned, shaking their heads, as
Quivel turned on the camera and began to film. Thinking of all the bills he
could pay with this paycheque helped him keep the camera steady, despite his
apprehension.
"Hello, mates, and welcome to another exciting
episode of Krawk Files!" Stevo said enthusiastically. "This week, we're taking
a look at some of the wonderful PetPets right here in our very own zoo!"
"That's right, Stevo," said Keri, "Starting
right here with our Tyrannian Petpets."
"We're here in the enclosure of our Pet Rock,
Rollin Stone," said Les. "As you may know, Pet Rocks are one of the PetPets
even Florg won't eat, due to their hard rocky exteriors and lack of nutritional
content."
"Not that we're encouraging the eating of any
PetPets," snapped Keri, glaring at Les.
"Oh, right, right. Bad Florg. Florrggg..." Les
was getting that far away look in his eyes again. "I have to... uh... go for a while.
I'm going to make sure the rest of the exhibits are ready for filming, mates..."
Before Keri could complain or catch him, Les scurried off.
"Well, while Les 'prepares the rest of the exhibits'..."
Stevo began.
"Like the no good two bit addict he is!" Keri
interrupted.
"We'll take a moment for our sponsor, Shidi!"
Stevo continued.
"Imagine my excitement," Keri muttered, as Stevo
put his arms around the huggable Shidi cutout.
"Shidi has been our sponsor through thick and
thin - she knows where the stories end, and where the laughs begin. She's really
sweet, and extra nice - and in a pinch, makes a great flotation device!" Stevo
grinned cheerfully, and patted the foam.
Flotation device? Quivel was glad he wasn't
there for that episode! Not that it could have been worse than falling off of
Faerieland in any way, really. Being a Quiggle, he was even an excellent swimmer.
"Now, let's move on to our next Tyrannian PetPet,
shall we?" Keri said, heading out of the enclosure of the Pet Rock and up the
winding dirt road that connected the exhibit areas. Since this was the Tyrannian
area, lush jungle foliage grew on both sides of the path. Stevo walked up the
path with her, pointing out the various species of trees and plants for the
camera. Quivel recorded it all faithfully and paused as they reached the next
exhibit, which read, "Beware! Riled Reptillior inside! Stay out!"
"This is the home of our Reptillior, Crusher!
She's a very, very naughty sheila - so let's go inside and see if we can get
her a bit riled. Wait till you see how she strikes! It's wild!" Stevo shouted
enthusiastically, heading for the door to the enclosure.
"While Stevo does that, I'll be out here checking up on his insurance policy
and holding the first aid kit!" Keri quipped, standing way back.
"Huh... that's funny, the door seems to be ajar..."
Stevo said, noticing the open exhibit gate. "Uh-oh... Crusher? Crusher, are you
in there? Come and bite Stevo..." Stevo walked into the exhibit and looked all
around - but no Reptillior! "Crikey! We've got a situation here, Keri! Riled
Reptillior on the loose!"
Quivel gasped and nearly dropped the camera.
He turned around in a little panicked circle to make sure that Crusher was nowhere
near him. Keri did the same, stuffing Stevo's insurance policy back into her
pocket and glaring angrily.
"I bet this is Les' fault somehow!" she snapped.
A high pitched, shrill scream confirmed her suspicions.
"Crikey! Les is screaming like a woman - no
offence, hon - he must be in danger!" Stevo rushed towards the sound, which
was coming from the Pet Rock exhibit, where they'd just came from. "Les must
have doubled back to Rollin's enclosure!"
Keri and Quivel followed quickly, though sure
to let Stevo go first. A shocking sight met their eyes - Les was hanging from
a tree that he'd apparently climbed to get away from the Reptillior. Apparently,
he hadn't climbed fast enough, because Crusher was hanging from his posterior,
fangs sunk in and looking quite riled.
"I'm going to die!" Les wailed.
"Don't look at me to get that venom out, " Keri
muttered. "That's why we've got healing potions."
"... we had healing potions?" Stevo said, stopping
to blink at Keri.
"Well, yeah."
"Why didn't you tell me about this back in Mystery
Island Misery when Les had to devenomate my Cobrall bite?" Stevo gasped.
"Helllooo... Dying of bite here..." Les wailed.
"Can we argue this later?"
"Just a minute, mate! It won't stop your heart
for at least another ten minutes or so, you've got time," Stevo said, still
trying to work this out.
"Well, you know..." Keri hedged. "It was kind
of funny. Good for ratings."
"From now on, if the choice is Les putting his
big Kyrii lips on any part of my anatomy or using the healing potion, I want
the potion!" Stevo demanded.
"My lips aren't big!" Les wailed. "They're kind
of blue and numb at the moment, though... would you hurry?!"
"Ratings are ratings, Stevo. Viewers loved it!"
Keri snapped, folding her arms.
"Viewers love the Shidi foam, too!" Stevo snapped
back.
"Legs... going... numb..." Les said weakly, a little
bit of drool starting to drip onto his fur. Quivel considered going to help
him, but hey, if Les died, he might have a permanent job. He didn't know quite
who to root for here, Les or the Reptillior. He imagined the Krawk Files with
Stevo and Keri Furwin, and their best mate, Quivel. Forget it, Kyrii! Bite him
harder! thought Quivel.
"Grrrrr!" Keri snapped, taking a swing at Stevo.
Stevo ducked, and held her arm.
"Blimey! The missus is getting riled again!"
Stevo gasped.
"My... arms... feel... heavy..." Les gasped. "Breathing...
hard..."
Suddenly, without warning, Rollin Stone launched
himself bravely from the ground and towards the Reptillior's head. Crusher blinked
in surprise a moment, then let go of Les' flesh to fall to the ground with a
thud, knocked out cold. A second thud hit the ground a moment later when Les
fell down next to him, too weak to hold the branch any longer.
"Blimey! Rollin saved Les' life!" Stevo said,
rushing over to collect the unconscious Reptillior before it came to.
"Who would have thought Rollin really could
move on his own?" Keri muttered, petting the little guy on her way to dump a
healing potion into Les' mouth. After she rubbed his throat to make him swallow,
she started smacking his cheeks lightly to make him more conscious. "Wake up,
you..."
"Florrrggg..." gasped Les, opening his eyes. "Aghhhh!
Monster! Oh... Keri. Hi..?"
"Are you awake?" she asked, a bit too sweetly.
"Yeah... I think so. Blimey, that was close."
Les struggled his way into a sitting position.
"Good. Because you're fired," she snapped.
"Fired?" he gasped. "No... it can't be!"
Quivel put down the camera and smiled a very,
very happy smile.
The End
Author's Note: The parody in this story is intentional, and the characters
used in it reside on the account Krawk_Files.
As always, thank you for reading, and feel free to Neomail
me if you've got a question, comment, or are just feeling a bit riled! | 
