Main Page Go to Short Stories Go back to Articles Go to Comics Go to Continued Series Go to Editorial Go to New Series

Show All | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8 | Week 9 | Week 10 | Week 11 | Week 12 | Week 13 | Week 14 | Week 15 | Week 16 | Week 17 | Week 18 | Week 19 | Week 20 | Week 21 | Week 22 | Week 23 | Week 24 | Week 25 | Week 26 | Week 27 | Week 28 | Week 29 | Week 30 | Week 31 | Week 32 | Week 33 | Week 34 | Week 35 | Week 36 | Week 37 | Week 38 | Week 39 | Week 40 | Week 41 | Week 42 | Week 43 | Week 44 | Week 45 | Week 46 | Week 47 | Week 48 | Week 49 | Week 50 | Week 51 | Week 52 | Week 53 | Week 54 | Week 55 | Week 56 | Week 57 | Week 58 | Week 59 | Week 60 | Week 61 | Week 62 | Week 63 | Week 64 | Week 65 | Week 66 | Week 67 | Week 68 | Week 69 | Week 70 | Week 71 | Week 72 | Week 73 | Week 74 | Week 75 | Week 76 | Week 77 | Week 78 | Week 79 | Week 80 | Week 81 | Week 82 | Week 83 | Week 84 | Week 85 | Week 86 | Week 87 | Week 88 | Week 89 | Week 90 | Week 91 | Week 92 | Week 93 | Week 94 | Week 95 | Week 96 | Week 97 | Week 98 | Week 99 | Week 100 | Week 101 | Week 102 | Week 103 | Week 104 | Week 105 | Week 106 | Week 107 | Week 108 | Week 109 | Week 110 | Week 111 | Week 112 | Week 113 | Week 114 | Week 115 | Week 116 | Week 117 | Week 118 | Week 119 | Week 120 | Week 121 | Week 122 | Week 123 | Week 124 | Week 125 | Week 126 | Week 127 | Week 128 | Week 129 | Week 130 | Week 131 | Week 132 | Week 133 | Week 134 | Week 135 | Week 136 | Week 137 | Week 138 | Week 139 | Week 140 | Week 141 | Week 142 | Week 143 | Week 144 | Week 145 | Week 146 | Week 147 | Week 148 | Week 149

Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 28th day of Running, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 29 > Articles > (Not-So) Lost Worlds of Neopia Episode VII: Cockroach Tower

(Not-So) Lost Worlds of Neopia Episode VII: Cockroach Tower

by evianevian

So we've shown you all around various unseen worlds, taught you all kinds of history about Neopia that you wish you hadn't known... but where does one stay when one is exploring? Contrary to popular belief, we at LWN definitely prefer a cozy bed to a mound of leaves on the ground. This is why today, _Storm_Song_ the Gelert will be showing you one of our favourite hotels in the Haunted Woods (umm, are there any other hotels in the Haunted Woods?): COCKROACH TOWERS!!! Lovely name, isn't it??

I've had my share of stays in the Haunted Woods, and let me tell you this is NOT the place for camping. You never know when the Esophagor is going to take a midnight walk and mistake you for an extra-large Sundried Techo Claw... but I digress. Suffice it to say, when I'm in the Haunted Woods on business, ANY hotel is enough for me. That is why, despite the many, shall we say, less than perfect aspects of what I have come to refer as Rooms of Doom, Cockroach Towers is my first stop in the Haunted Woods.

The only lawful check-in hours are between 3:00 and 3:05 a.m. At all other times, the front doors of the hotel are locked against pestering Ghostkerchiefs and the explosions from nearby Edna the Witch's Tower. The only employee is a Techo, who isn't really a great help. My advice to you? Go to the always unlocked back entrance, and stroll in. Go in any suite--the odds are very slim there will be any other guests at the same time as your stay. Oh, and don't go looking for vending machines on the way up, unless you want a Dr. Backwash or Metallicious Ice Lolly. To get some out of the two broken vending machines, bang twice on the left side, jump on the top three times, pull the purple lever... wait, that's the Alien Aisha vending machine!!

Now, after bracing yourself with these yummy treats, you are ready to enter the single scariest part of Cockroach Towers' operation: the guest rooms. Put on the convenient gas mask hanging outside each suite, then enter at your own risk. Spend as little time as possible in your suite. It would probably be easiest just to sleep in the hall outside and swim in the swirling green waters of the Pool--these would be safer and more sanitary than whatever lurks in your room.

Now, make your way down to the Greasy Spoon; 1/2 star cuisine at a low low price is the specialty of the hotel restaurant. I say 1/2 star because, to feed yourself, you have to get a frozen food pack out of the ice chamber, which has a floor littered in frozen rats, then de-thaw the chunk of ice you have retrieved in the defective microwave. Don't blame me if your Claw-Matoe surprise makes you glow in the dark! Wash it all down with the only decent stuff in the place; a delicious magic vial potion!

If its some activities you desire now, this hotel hosts the bi-century Culture Convention, where Neopets from all over Neopia gather to celebrate the finer things in life. If you're lucky enough to arrive at this time, you will find an even better hotel than the Astro-Villa. If you're like me, and come the rest of the time, your 5 NP a night will at least keep you out of ear-reach from the Brain Tree's sleep-talking ("Rebecca Wilberforce... Ivan Kacheek... The prizes I give out for my quests stink, but no one will ever know." That tree is only fooling himself. But enough of my low-grade ranting.) If you are forced to stay here, I wish you the best of luck--you'll need it.

Join us next time, when we'll explore yet another of Neopia's fab hotels! To get a sneak peek at future episodes, check out the LWN guild. Till then, keep exploring!


Search :
Other Stories

Neopia in All Its Glory
Well, this article isn't really about anything in particular, just another opinion.

by webman88


Anatomy of a Shoyru
Finally, an article about Neopia's favourite flying dragon.

by teresatheperfect


Honk Honk! Interview With the Chia Clown
Honk Honk!

by raflonile


Colourtrology
So without further adieu here is your NeoPet guide to colours.

by roseemaryzokpidgeon


How to Empty Out your Inventory
Do you have over fifty items? Can you not bear to part with that Tiki Tack Keyring?

by horseaddiction


Neopets | Main | Articles | Editorial
Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series | Search