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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 17th day of Relaxing, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 75 > Articles > How to Become a Superstar on the Role Playing Chat Board

How to Become a Superstar on the Role Playing Chat Board

by stoneman3x

CHAT - I am an expert on role-playing, or RP as it is known in RP circles. I've done it one whole whopping time so I am extremely qualified to discuss this topic. I was bored out of my gourd that day so I popped over to the Role Playing Chat Board to check it out. As I recall, the conversation went something like this:

Stoneman3x: A Fire Lupe howls at the moon. He is bored stiff. Nothing new there.

Anonymous-type Person: A white she-wolf walks up to him. She is wearing a black tank top, spandex shorts and has a set of pistols strapped in holsters to her hips.

Stoneman3x: The Fire Lupe is suddenly very very very worried.

Anonymous-type Person: "Hi there," the white she-wolf coos. "Wanna play with me?"

Stoneman3x: The Fire Lupe panics and tosses his cookies.

Really Scary Intruder: A mutant Lupe steps up to the white she-wolf. "I wanna play," he says with a sly smile.

Anonymous-type Person: The she-wolf smiles at him and tosses her long, flowing silver-white hair over her shoulder.

Stoneman3x: The Fire Lupe stares catatonically into space.

Really Scary Intruder: "It looks like we are going to have to do battle here," the big, powerful mutant Lupe with 578 Battledome victories and an Staff of the Dark Faerie says with a growl while giving the stupid cowardly Fire Lupe an evil glare.

Anonymous-type Person: "Let the battle begin," the incredibly beautiful she-wolf with baby blue eyes says, "and oh, by the way, my name is "devil_neolupess354 but you can call me Blaze."

Stoneman3x: The Fire Lupe crawls under a rock and expires.

Anonymous-type Person: Bummer.

Really Scary Intruder: The mutant Lupe takes out his Iron Lupe Sword and slices dumb stupid ugly Fire Lupe in half.

Stoneman3x: But he's ALREADY gone to the big Lupe-house in the sky!

Really Scary Intruder: Just making sure.

So as you can see, I'm a master of role-playing and I'm here to give you some tips on how to post messages on the RP board that will win you fame in no time.

Getting Started

The RP board can move very quickly, so the worst thing you can do is to sit and read the different board headers looking for one that sounds interesting. The best method is to pick a RP thread at random and click on it. Don't worry if the one you pick says something like "plushies in my shop cheep check it out!" Click on it anyway and just say anything that pops into your head. Good opening lines are:

A Lupe mutilated Christmas Chia drags himself to the Mystery Pic. "Oooo! I know this one!" he exclaims as his nose falls off.

A rainbow-coloured Cybunny slips on his jacket made of peanut butter and hopes a passing Elephante won't eat him for dinner. Again.

The beautiful Disco Bruce spreads her wings and sails off the cliff into the bright cloudy sky. She is airborne only a moment before she realises penguins can't fly.

A red Skeith sits quietly waiting for the Neopets team to draw him a neck.

Is Adam here? I need to ask him a question about what he was doing on the Webcam last night with that turnip and a rubber duck...

Don't worry if your opening line doesn't fit the subject of the board. Even if it does match the subject of the board, the answer you get won't make sense anyway. These opening lines are also good if you are jumping into a conversation that has been going on for awhile. Don't feel shy about interrupting. Just leap right into the conversation without reading what the "story" is about. This method is especially perfect if you feel more comfortable being completely ignored.

Making Your Own Board

Even if you have a Lupe and there are fifteen Lupe oriented RP boards to choose from, make your own anyway. The best strategy is to copy exactly what someone else has already put in their subject line. Like "HERMIONE HAS BEEN BRAINWASHED BY VOLDEMORT!!!" Make sure you use both bold letters and all capitals and post the same thing three times in a row so YOUR board is the one everyone notices. Then post in the RP board itself something like, "Does anyone know how I can get the Pant Devil to challenge me to the Battledome?" Of course that's just an example, but having the message you post in your board as far removed from the subject of the board as possible is something that everyone finds entertaining.

Making Your RP Character Interesting

If you have a favourite non-Neopet character from a book, movie or anime cartoon, this is the perfect place for you to become that character. If you liked The Lord of the Rings, for example, pretend you are Frodo. It's okay to pretend you are Frodo even if the board is about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Allowing your character to do things they might not ordinarily do makes them even more fun and interesting. Post something like, Frodo looks at his feet and screams, "My socks don't match!" and then rides off on a Uni with Mickey Mouse. This will add your own special touch to your character and make you stand out from the crowd.

If you have a Neopet and want to role-play with him instead, I highly recommend making him as human-like as possible or give him colour combinations that don't exist in Neopia. And make sure he makes his entrance riding a motorcycle. That's always popular. An example might be, "Verily I say unto ye!" the Grarrl scuba diver screamed as he whipped off his cowboy hat, "I love making flower arrangements, don't you?" This makes a powerful impact on the other people role-playing on the same message board. Just remember when they say, "Get outta here you freak!", that they don't mean it. They are role-playing too.

Keeping the Board Alive

Sometimes the "plot" of a "story" on the RP board starts to get boring or predictable, like a Spider Grundo spins a web around everyone and forces them to watch him knit wool caps for bald Nimmos. This is a good time to spice up the conversation. Here are some great ways to pep up a dull board:

(1) Make rude comments to everything everyone else posts. You are not permitted to use swear words, but you can be creatively vulgar if you put your mind to it. Phrases like "Hey stupid!", "Back off dork!" or "Your Mama's ugly!" are always good for getting lots and lots of responses.

(2) Make references to other people's body parts and what you plan to do with them. Here is an example: "If you don't shut up I'm going to shove my foot up your *insert any body part that seems appropriate here*. Of course, anything that would actually be physically impossible to accomplish at least opens the door for lively debate.

(3) Think of a plot development that you personally would find amusing. For example, if the RP board is about Cybunnies having a picnic in a grassy meadow, have a Scorchio swoop down out of nowhere and burn them all to a crisp. Everyone there will thank you for your great imagination and helpful input.

If the other people role-playing on the board suddenly leave after you have posted a few times, don't give up. Keep posting messages even if you have to talk to yourself as several different characters. Here is an example of a possible conversation:

Stoneman3x: Whoa! Everyone but us left.

Stoneman3x: Looks that way.

Stoneman3x: It's pretty quiet here now.

Stoneman3x: Yup.

Stoneman3x: So what's your Zodiac sign?

You can keep this up indefinitely and quite often it is more fun and interesting than if other people are there. In fact, you can be as rude as you like to people who finally do show up and you can tell them to stop butting into your conversation.

Finishing Up
Sometimes it's hard to know when the "story" is over. Just because everyone has left except you isn't always a sign that everyone has quit playing. They might all have decided to grab a snack at the same time or something. Even if someone posts "The End", you can't be completely sure. After all, a LOT of good stories have sequels. So here is some excellent advice on the best way to avoid the awkwardness of not knowing when to quit: Leave the RP board as soon as you make it. Post one message and never go back. That way you don't have to worry about it.

I hope this has been a big help to you. But if for some strange reason you still have questions about it, just make a RP board with the subject "What the heck is going on here?" I'm sure lots of people will post informative answers to that.

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