Freaky Foods by ember188 |  |
NEOPIA CENTRAL - Some Neopian foods are just plain weird. Others seem normal
but have mysteries behind them. The former can be illustrated by chia pops.
Chia pops have become so commonplace in Neopia that no one seems too puzzled
by them anymore. But I'm still a little in the dark on how eating one of them
can turn a Chia into the fruit it is favoured with. All right, they're magical.
But what does that really mean? Why do they only work on Chias? And why am I
sitting here ranting when there are freaky foods to be discussed?
Where are the berries?
First off, I'd like to bring up what are possibly the absolute weirdest
foods in Neopia. I'm not talking about pizzas of death or polka dot hot dogs.
I'm talking about berries. Not pick-your-own variety berries either, but plain,
ordinary blueberries and raspberries. What's so weird about them? There are
none! At least not in their natural form. That's right: there is blueberry jam
and blueberry achyfi, raspberry milkshakes and raspberry neodrops, but absolutely
no blueberries or raspberries anywhere in Neopia. Unless you count the
blueberry Chias, of course, who were changed into berries by eating popsicles
that were not only ordinary looking but also, apparently, artificially favoured
Gross Foods
Ah yes, Neopia's most infamous freaky foods. Brain kebabs, fish pops, and
maggot stew all fall into this category. These foods are all very strange on
their own, but what I find even stranger is the way that pets react to them.
No, I'm not surprised that they show up with little bandages and say things
like "That was awful!" What surprises me is that they eat it at all. For instance,
my Acara, Sunyears, won't so much as TOUCH foozettes or hot soup, but without
hesitation she won't hesitate to gobble down fresh clam jam and only complain
about it after the fact. This I find extremely odd, as I for one would
have to at least try soup or a fuzzy yellow fruit in order to know I don't like
it, where as the stench of that rather disturbing gunk in a clam shell would
warn me not to try it.
And while we're at it, what defines a "gross food" anyway? Personally, I find
eyeballs and dung slushies rather disgusting, yet for some reason they don't
qualify.
Silly Skeiths
As you probably know, Skeiths and Grarrls aren't the pickiest eaters in
the world. They will eat just about anything. But they still think that gross
food is gross. They will eat piles of dung but shudder at the sight of chewing
dung. They will eat pieces of wool but if you feed them carawool, which is just
wool with caramel, they complain. They will happily devour live Blunas if they
are hungry enough, but bluna burgers make their stomachs churn. Am I the only
one who finds this a little strange?
The Perishable Problem
Neopian food doesn't seem to spoil very easily. You can carry around some
strawberry ice cream for days and, regardless of the weather, it won't melt.
Sure, it might get stolen, traded for a clump of snot, or zapped into a pile
of sludge but it will never actually melt. Neither will fruits spoil, not even
ptolymelons with their descriptions that claim they go bad very quickly. Speaking
of going and desert fruit, you know those squashed tchea fruits and damaged
ummagines? Their descriptions say that there's a discount on them, but they
usually cost more than the unruined versions of them.
Weird, isn't it? You don't have to look farther than your NeoHome's kitchen
to uncover a load of "conspiracy" topics. Speaking of which *smells
smoke*... JERMIAH! GET AWAY FROM THE STOVE! YOU PUT YOUR RUBBER SQUEAKY TOY
IN MY POTATO SOUP AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU? |
