(Not-So) Lost Worlds of Neopia, Episode VIII: The Presidential Palace by evianevian |  |
Welcome back to Lost Worlds of Neopia! Now that you've seen one of Neopia's
*ahem* low-end hotels, we thought you, dear readers, would like to see something
just a little more tastefully decorated (unless you actually liked the grim,
cobweb-draped suites of Cockroach Towers) and with many more activities to pursue.
So hang on to your hats, Neopians, because we're not going to the top-of-the-line
but pretty close to it--the PRESIDENTIAL PALACE!!!
Hey, this is Snow_Song, reporting from The Presidential Palace, my second
home in Central Neopia. This crown jewel of the Neolodge chain is located just
down the street from my house, on Neopia's High Street; conveniently enough,
within walking distance of the Pharmacy (in case you go Chuffer Bob on all of
the PP's, as I have affectionately named it, fine cuisine). For the slightly
steep price of 200 Neopoints a night, you can live in style at the PP.
The PP is HUGE for a hotel; believe me, it looks small on the map, but they
must have had Kauvara do something inside 'cause this place never seems to end.
Every time I visit I get lost on the way to my room (and don't rely on fellow
guests to lend a helping hand; Nigel Chia wouldn't give me directions to my
suite unless I bought stock in Bob's Big Bonus Bingo from him)! Everything inside
is larger than life; walking up to the Check-In Counter, I had to jump up and
down a few times to be noticed by the almost too-polite receptionist. After
giving me complimentary orange chocolate, mints, Neocolas, a car, some scooters,
a pile of books, and several slices of Kaykee Wake Cake, she turned me over
to the equally kind porter, who toted my twelve suitcases up to my top-floor
room without so much as a groan. Upon reaching the door, the porter gave me
my golden, tasseled key and launched into a description of everything the hotel
has to offer. I fell asleep five minutes into his speech as he was describing
the three-level pool with six water slides and an underwater elevator, and he
was kind enough to wake me up half an hour later when he had finished his mandatory
speech.
The rooms themselves are magnificent, more like apartments than hotel suites.
All bedrooms have king-sized canopy beds with blue and gold satin sheets, a
260 square foot closet with revolving display area for your finest clothes (due
to all of the supermodels that stay here; Tonu Banks and Krawk Moss, to name
two), a lighted vanity area with the latest in makeup and perfumes, a bathroom
with a huge tub that has 23 taps with different kinds of mineral water, a big-screen
TV with DVD player, a computer with Internet access (so I can visit NeoHumans.com
and take care of my little evian ^.^) and so so SO much more. I didn't want
to leave my room, but I gave up this comfort to show you all the rest of this
amazing hotel.
I'm a fairly good gambler, so I went to The High Roller, the hotel's famed
casino (with even more visitors than King Roo's Palace!) I proceeded to win
amazingly at Krawps, NeoPoker, Dice-A-Roo, and Scorchy Slots (however, it's
possible they rig the machines for reviewers--anything for a good report, I
suppose).
You'd be surprised how exhausting it can be to pull levers and roll dice,
so after an hour or so of gambling I went on to sample the hotel's food. Of
its several excellent restaurants, which include the Mystery Island Cafe, Planet
NeoWood, and a slightly seedy-looking place called Sloth's, I chose Bentalia's
(no idea where that name comes from). From my table, I got a view of Central
Neopia almost as good as that from Lilac Island's Scenic Overlook, after the
window-washer moved out of the way. I could see clear over to the Soup Kitchen,
which made me even more thankful for the amazing food I was about to eat (Minestrone
DOES get boring after a while). I started my meal off with a delicious Asparagus
Ball with Crystal One Soda to drink, which was constantly replenished by one
of my four personal waiters that stood by my table at all times. Next was a
Spotted Pudding with Custard and a yummy Sporkle Leg. After five more spectacular
courses, I ended with a Murky Green and a Deluxe Chia Cake, all to myself! After
this, my four waiters helped me force my newly bloated self out the door of
the restaurant and, loading me in the hotel's train, I was driven back to my
suite and laid on the couch in front of What's
Cooking? with Aletra the Aisha. Needless to say, I found the Stomach
Ache Specialist the PP employs VERY helpful.
There is so much more I could mention about the PP: the amazing shops located
in their underground mall, their spa service, and the Millionaire's Club. However,
my fingers are super-tired, so I think I'll just get back to working off the
190 pounds I gained during my stay.
P.S. Remember to visit the LWN
guild for more news about upcoming articles. |
