Pickled Olives are a fact of life on the little island we call Neopia. You
can't go anywhere without seeing their cheerful greenish hue smile brightly
at you from your items list. Why have the jars of pickled olives--a treat we
once thought so innocent--taken over the whole of our great island? A sociologist
(me) examines the cultural connections of this--which in all honesty should
become Neopia's national dish.
The first factor in the ongoing success of pickled olives is the fact that
you can't do anything with them. You see, our society is constantly engrained
with a sense of getting, of doing. Buy this to feed your pet, to make him better,
to make him win, to earn nps. There is nothing left in Neopia to do just because
you want to--not to feed them to anyone, nor to earn anything with them, or
even to simply play them. Except the buying of large quantities of pickled olives.
I don't know how many of you know collegegirl77. She is the mentally challenged
owner of two sweet NeoPets. Anyway, she sent me nineteen jars of Pickled Olives.
Why? You may well ask. The answer is that there is no point to the sending
of pickled olives whatsoever. It was a gesture of pure uselessness.
The other factor in the aformentioned success of pickled olives is their non-existent
reason for existence: namely, the annual Olive Festival whom, the Pickled Olive
caption informs us, is enjoyed "by the islanders" to no end.
But I have researched this so-called Olive Festival, researced it night and
day.
It doesn't exist, there is no such thing. Yes, pet owners! Mystery Island is
deliberately decieving us.
I stand for justice, Pet Owners!
And that is why I say this to you:
MAKE PICKLED OLIVES OUR NATIONAL DISH!
Your children's children will thank you. And when you are old and grey, with
cute little Jubjubs crowded around you, you can say "I was one of those who
instated the Pickled Olive as the paragon of all that is good in our Neopia." | 
