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About ToCatchaThief : My Own Invention
Yes, as you all know, my name is ToCatchaThief and I am a Jetsam. My owner, whom I must say is extremely idiotic and rejected in society, chose me simply because I brainwashed him. Yes, even if he was reading this, he would not realize what I was talking about. This lets you in on my first talent, manipulation. Now, now, you may tell me that this is no good in the battledome and that its impossible to even tell that I have it. Yes I know this, you insolent twits. But the thing is, why would you be reading this if I couldn't brainwash you? Yes, this odd ability opens up many a door which I have yet to enter, but believe me, by the time I reach level fifty, not one carpet will be left unstained. (That was a pun for the door thing I mentioned earlier, you fools.) Now to tell you about my life would be quite interesting, so I will.
At first I only worked at night, you know, the whole loot the safes bit. But then, I discovered diamonds. FABULOUS. That's what I said. So I had to figure out a way to come into contact with more of these. Jewelry stores came to mind, from there I heard about coal mines, and then about charcoal bags, and then about grocery stores, and then about parcels, and then about the Queen's parcel, and then about the Faerie Queen. This is why I'm here in Neopia. Who would have a more dazzling collection of delicately rare and precious stones than the Faerie Queen herself? (That was a rhetorical question.) So, that is why I have arrived. First, of course, I'll need a house in Faerieland. Short on cash, however, my brilliance has been reduced to groveling at the local money tree and begging in chat rooms for outlandish items such as the rod of dark nova. A start, don't you think?
Now, my name, you ask. Well, it's simple really, but due to your pathetic brain capacity, I'll tell you what is up with that fourwordlinkup. (That was also a pun.) As you very well know, the more something stands out, the less suspicious it is. You see, my name directly implies that I am a thief, or have a connection with one, to catch it or what not. And this, my dear friends, is exactly what police are NOT looking for. They want someone who hides, slithers, lies. By coming flat out and saying "I'm the thief you foolish fools", I have eluded their grasp. (My name is also the title of an Alford Hitchcock movie, about a very sneaky diamond thief. This has nothing to do with me.)
Now here I sit, gazing at my wonderous success as of now. Why look at me! I'm hot on the Faerie Queen's tale (or tail for uncreative people) and am about to get her diamonds. Everything is perfect, as you can and will see, if you haven't already because you're just too blunt. Yes, I am the ultimate pet.
By the way, My Own Invention, the title, was to throw you people off track. It worked too didn't it? (That was also rhetorical, you idiot people.)
Owned by (yuck I hate this part) SirChandler
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