Jelly: A Yummy Wobbly Treat Or a Growing Menace? by moonlit_sparkle |  |
Untitled Document
NEOPIA CENTRAL - Lately, many Neopians have been pondering, "Is jelly overrated?"
I, for one, used to be one of them. After all, before the appearance of Jelly
World (which... *cough* we all know exists), jelly was simply a silly, wobbly,
gooey, edible substance. Okay, so it still is. But has anyone ever thought that
jelly could be a hazard to your poor unsuspecting pet and even to YOU? I have,
and the purpose of my article is to make more fellow Neopians aware of it. Of
course, jelly isn't TOTALLY bad, so I've also come up with some virtues for
it. But first, let's discuss the menacing facts.
Jelly weapons: So you've just strolled into the defense magic shop with your
Gelert, when all of a sudden, she squeals in delight: "Look!! A grape jelly
shield! They actually have one in stock, can we buy it?? Pleeeeease????" And,
being the loving owner that you are, you give in and spend the NP you've just
won from a scratchcard. Of course, you DO know that it won't last more than
6 minutes, right? By the time you've found your way out of the shop, that nice
grape shield is safely stored in your Neopet's belly.
Free jelly: Great, right? Now, instead of only getting your daily portion of
omelette from a giant egg, you can also get a free piece of jelly from... A
GIANT JELLY!!! But have you ever considered how unhealthy jelly is? Sure, it's
nice to have some once in a while, and it's certainly more attractive than sausage
omelette, but if you start giving it to your pet every single day... Let's just
say that Gelert of yours might start looking more like a Skeith.
Jelly World: Erm... *cough* It doesn't technically exist on the Neopian map
yet, and for good reasons. First of all, who can resist that sugary-glucose
smell and taste of jelly? I'm telling you, I'd probably eat one of those buildings
all to myself!! And with the number of Neopians constantly growing, Jelly World
would have to be rebuilt every 3 hours. I pity those construction workers.
Jelly pets???: For the privileged people who have gotten a look at that 'non-existent
jelly world', you've probably already been to the jelly food shop. Have you
ever noticed the shopkeeper? It's a Kacheek. But not just ANY Kacheek. A JELLY
Kacheek, who happily greets you when you come in. Same thing when you visit
the giant jelly. A red wobbly Wocky hands you your piece. This can only mean
one thing... A Jelly paint brush. Oh, the joy. You no longer have to feed your
pet, it can eat itself instead! Don't get me wrong, jelly pets would be extremely
cute, and maybe you could teach them to not chew on their own arm, but still...
And what about jelly petpets? You'd have to carefully explain to your pet that
their wobbly green Babaa is still alive, and that it is not recommended to eat
it.
There, you are now one of the smart Neopians who have been warned about this
substance. Now, on to the qualities of jelly.
More Colors = More Happiness: Who hasn't admired at least once a brightly colored
jelly? *Sees clueless faces staring at her* Erm, okay, so maybe not EVERYONE
has seen one, but trust me, as the jelly phenomenon grows, it will become almost
as common as a super toy sail boat. Anyway, my point is, jelly is so colorful,
you can't help gawking at it for a couple of seconds. And right now, lime jelly
isn't as cheap as a sausage omelette. Hey, this world could use a little more
color... Maybe fruit flavored jelly is the answer.
Free jelly: This was mentioned previously as a threat, but read on and you'll
understand why it can also be considered as something good. Remember when Tyrannia
was discovered, from a secret path in the ice caves? All of a sudden, a giant
birdlike creature laid a huge egg, causing a giant omelette, meaning free omelette
to anyone who could get their hands (or paws) on it. Now, in our 'non-existent
Jelly World', a massive piece of Jelly is calmly sitting, waiting for the next
pet who will happily come and snatch a piece of strawberry jelly. So what does
this mean? A giant jelly bird laid a giant jelly? Oh well, the way I see it,
it just signifies less Neopoints spent on food!
Jelly pets???: Yes, I know I mentioned them before as hazards, but it all depends
on the way you look at it. Naturally, if jelly pets ever appear one day, I expect
them to be annoyingly cute. Now, let's think about a very popular 'cute-rendering'
item: The baby paint brush. Many, many Neopians dream about their neopet becoming
a baby. (At least, I know I did before getting mine ;)) And even if you don't
like baby pets, selling that brush can make you quite richer than before. So,
baby = cute, cute = expensive. Jelly = cute, cute = expensive. If you need any
more proof, just think of other 'adorable' brushes: Faerie, Plushie, etc. You
can consider yourself lucky if you get them for a reasonable 160k or so... (Average
prices at the time of writing this.) Yup, jelly pets would make some Neopians
proud owners, and others, just plain rich.
So, this brings us back to our initial question, is jelly good or bad? Only
time will tell, although I am pretty sure that we will be supplied with more
information when those construction workers over at Jelly World get cracking.
(*Cough*) Eventually, Jelly World might just become an ordinary, well-known
world with its own games and competitions. Or, it may cause conflicts that could
lead to a war. Who knows? The giant jelly bird??!? Uh, I don't think so. Until
then, it's up to you to decide. As for my opinion... well, quite ironically,
I'm not even sure. *Takes a bite out of a lemon jelly*
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