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"Arrr, but it's a nasty business that," Krawk said, shaking
his head sadly. "They come with a refrigerator the size of Coltzan's Shrine and
toss ye in. Then they pack ye in evil snowballs 'n poison snowballs. And give
ye a blast or two with a rainbow frost cannon fer good measure. The same goes
fer any creature livin' in yer NeoHome as well..." Stonekrawk3x covered Stonecrow's
ear with his paw, and continued in a hushed whisper, "...Even petpets!"
He obviously hadn't done a very good job of
plugging the crokabek's ears because it began to flap its wings and squawk in
alarm.
"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!" I yelled, leaping to my
feet. "We'll stay here at the inn tonight and go first thing in the morning,
okay?"
I stood there for a moment and then sighed in
defeat. It had never occurred to me that getting a bodyguard for Stonewolf3x
meant that I would be getting another Neopet.
I looked back and forth between them and continued,
"Under one condition, though."
"What's that?" they both said at once.
"That you get me something to EAT!"
***
I walked out of the Neopia Central Registration Office with a signed and sealed
document in my hand that proclaimed that I was now the proud owner of a pirate
Krawk named Stonekrawk3x. Wolf and Krawk followed behind me. I have to confess
it felt good to see Neopians pass by and stare at them in admiration.
"Look! It's a Krawk! A pirate Krawk!"
"Oooo! That Fire Lupe is so cool!"
"How come all the dorks have really good pets?"
Okay, so I wasn't too wild about the last comment,
but it still made me feel proud that Wolf and Krawk were with me. I should
have known that my euphoria wouldn't last long. Since it was on the way, I decided
to cut through the Main Marketplace so I could do some window shopping.
"You know, we should pop over to the furniture
shop when we get back to Tyrannia," I said cheerfully. "Krawk is going to need
a bed and stuff. And we could stop by the Concert Hall and watch the show."
"Whatever," Wolf snarled.
I turned and looked at him. He had an dynamically
sullen expression on his face. I was aware that the sinking feeling I had in
my stomach was not unlike the last few moments of the Titanic. I pulled my copy
of Inside the Mind of a Lupe out of my pocket and braced myself.
"Okay, what's wrong, Wolf?" I asked.
"Nothing," he replied crisply.
I opened the book to the chapter that said "What
You Should Do When Your Lupe Says Nothing When You Ask Him What Is Wrong". The
entire chapter was one word. It said "DUCK!". I closed the book gently, turned
around and walked over to the Money Tree. And I tossed the book on it. Then
I placed my back against the trunk and slowly slid down until I was sitting
with my knees against chest. I sighed deeply. Almost instantly a passing Tonu
handed me a Tyrannian petpet paint brush.
I leapt to my feet and caught up to her.
"Hey! Why are you giving me this?" I asked.
"I don't need this!"
"You will," she replied and patted my arm sympathetically.
"And tell your Lupe happy birthday from me!"
"Thanks!" I said and looked at the paint brush
in awe.
When I looked up she was gone. I shoved it into
my back pocket and returned to where I had left Wolf and Krawk They were actually
still there.
"Okay," I said, folding my arms across my chest.
"How much is this gonna cost me?"
"What?" Wolf asked with ridiculously false innocence.
"Whatever it is that you want that you won't
give me a moment's peace until you get," I replied, tapping my foot.
"Arrr, ye be right about him, Cap'n," Krawk
drawled. "He do seem to be quite the pushover."
I glared at Stonewolf3x. But he simply shrugged.
"Well you ARE," he said matter-of-factly.
"So?" I asked, tapping my foot even more impatiently.
"What do you want?"
"I want a friend," he replied with his usual
coolness.
"And what am I?" I replied in annoyed disbelief.
"A scratchcard kiosk Wocky plushie?"
***
We emerged from the Neopian Petpet Shop with a Doglefox trailing Stonewolf3x.
It seems Wolf had felt that it wasn't fair for his bodyguard to have a petpet
and he didn't. I don't know why I didn't see that one coming.
Wolf already had a name for it before we even
crossed the threshold of the shop and stepped back out into the street. Stonefox.
No surprise there.
Stonefox didn't appear to be the kind of petpet
any normal pet would want. He seemed to be completely lacking in personality.
Well, his own personality, anyway. When Wolf walked, the Doglefox trailed
behind him exactly two steps back. If Wolf flicked his tail, the Doglefox flicked
his own tail at the exact same time. If Wolf cocked his head, Stonefox cocked
his own head at the precise same degree of tilt. He even had Wolf's bored expression
on his face. He was like a miniature shadow-clone. It was fascinating and terrifying
at the same time.
As we walked towards the dock to catch the next
ferry home, Wolf actually had a pleased look on his face for once. But the suspense
was killing me so I stopped and and looked at him.
"Okay," I said, "What is it now?"
"What do you mean?" he replied with genuine
bewilderment.
"What do you want now?"
"Well..." he said slowly, "Since you brought
it up... I was just thinking... since we live in Tyrannia..."
"HA!" I exclaimed triumphantly, pulling the
Tyrannian petpet paint brush out of my back pocket, "I'm way ahead of you THIS
time, bud!"
***
We all sat around the dining room table the next evening. I had to admit that
it really felt like a family gathering. We had just finished singing "happy
birthday" to Wolf, and gigantic iced chocolate Lupe cake sat in front of me,
ready for me to slice. All eyes were on me, waiting expectantly.
I grinned, looked Stonewolf3x dead in the eye
and said cheerfully, "So, do you have everything you ever wanted for your birthday
now?"
He smiled and nodded, casting a glance at Krawk,
Stonecrow and Stonefox.
"That's great!" I chirped. "I can hardly wait
to see what you got ME for MY birthday tomorrow! I mean, I'm POSITIVE that you
got some presents for me that are at least as good as the presents I got for
you!"
Wolf suddenly turned pale. It was quite a feat
considering that most of his face was as dark as a burnt scarab cookie. I picked
up a knife and began slicing the cake.
"Who wants the first piece?" I asked with diabolically
unbridled glee.
The End
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