|
The Paper-clip Show
Episode 1
'Hoy there, folks! Welcome to episode one of The Paperclip Show! Not to be
confused with a show that goes by the name of another office supply, though!
This is the show where our two horribly menacing hosts kidnap famous Neopian
characters and coerce them into spitting their most guarded secrets! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Erm, seeing how this is the first episode, I think I'll explain to you how it
goes.
We start with our two hosts, who go by the names Keet and Sam. Each episode
begins with our lovely assistants dragging our vic-- I mean, guest onstage.
Then we seat him or her down and begin questioning. But that's where you, the
reader, come in! We need your questions to keep TPCS going! Since this is the
first episode, Sam and I will be coming up with the questions, and probably
some for the second one as well. But every week at the end of the show we'll
tell you who'll be on next week, so you can Neomail me at karateetee with your
questions. Remember, these can be as silly as you like, so if you've always
wanted to know what color Dr. Sloth prefers his cheese to be, go ahead and ask!
Now let's begin for today with our first guest ever, Branston the Eyrie! Alright
guys, bring him out!
Several pets in sunglasses and baseball caps drag out a tawny Eyrie with
a sack over his head. He struggles to remove the sack, but fails. The pets push
him into a chair next to the hosts and remove the sack before scurrying backstage
again.
Sam: Ah, Branston. Aren't you just thrilled to be here?
Branston: No.
Keet: How nice. Let's begin with our first questions, shall we? *pulls
out a stack of notecards* Question one, how does it make you feel to be one
of the worst Cheat! players of all time? Are you bothered that hundreds, if
not thousands of pets defeat you easily every day?
Branston: I--I--I feel bad. *sniffles* You don't know how hard it is
to play cards when you can't even count!
Sam: You can't count? Well then how do you know what the numbers on
the cards are?
Branston: I don't! *wipes away tear* That's why I always lose! And it
doesn't help that that snooty Princess Fernypoo is always waving her cards in
my face on purpose!
Keet: o_Ô And that is a bad thing... how?
Branston: I don't know what they say! *sobs uncontrollably*
Sam: There, there... *pats Branston on the back* Well, what about your
dancing? Do you... erm, enjoy that?
Branston: *stops crying* Yes! Very much! I love to dance!
Keet: Ah. Since our show seems to be lacking in humor, would you please
show us a few of your favorite moves?
Branston: Hmmm, I'm pretty sure I should be offended, but I don't have
the brains to comprehend the true meaning behind what you just said. Sure I'll
dance.
Keet and Sam: *snicker behind their hands*
Branston: *begins to dance disco-style, dipping his paw down to his
hip before raising it again several times while rolling his other shoulder*
Out of nowhere, a disco ball drops down to hang above Branston's head. The
lights go out before strobe lights go on and a large magenta spotlight shines
on Branston as he dances.
Keet: This is... interesting.
Sam: o.O If by that you mean slightly frightening, then yes. Yes, it
is.
Branston: Disco fevah! *drops down on his bum and spins as he curls
up in a tight ball, before jumping up with his arms in a v shape in the air*
Keet and Sam: SUPASTAR!
Branston: Yes, yes I am. *sits down and wipes head with handkerchief
pulled out of nowhere*
The lights suddenly go on as the disco ball disappears and the funky lights
turn off.
Sam: So... where exactly did that whole light show just come from?
Branston: Oh, that. Well, I have a team of people follow me around --
at a distance of course, Branston needs his personal groove space -- that start
that up whenever I begin to dance so that I always look cool in the spotlight.
*winks and makes wrist movement to something off in the distance*
Keet: I see. Now did you say, personal groove space?
Sam: I think he did. *nods fervently*
Keet: Ah, and what exactly is this?
Sam: *still nodding* Yeah, what is it?
Keet: *pulls out stuffed animal and whacks Sam on the head with it*
No more nodding!
Branston: Well, my groove space is the space I need for my funkalicious
aura to reverberate.
Keet and Sam: o.O
Sam: Reverberate? Wow, you really don't know what you're talking about.
Branston: Eeeeexactly! *winks*
Keet: O.O That's frightening. Don't ever do it again. Ever.
Sam: Ever.
Keet and Sam: Ever.
Branston: Well, if that's all you guys want from me, I have to go and--
Sam: One last question. What is your favorite thing for breakfast? Is
it eggs and bacon, eggs and spam, eggs, bacon, and spam, eggs, spam, bacon and
spam?
Branston: Ummmm, the spam one. Can I leave now?
Keet and Sam: *begin singing the spam song*
Random vikings: Spammity spam, wonderful spam! Spam, spam, spam, spam,
spam...
Branston: Okaaaay then...*runs away*
Keet: Well, that's all for today's show! Tune in next week. Tune
in next week for a visit from that Queen of all Faeries, Fyora! Don't forget
to send your question as soon as you can so we can include it!
Sam: And a special thanks to Hika and Doodles for letting us bring this
show to Neopia! Buh-bye!
The lights dim for a moment, and when they brighten once more, the hosts
are gone.
| 
