| NEOPIA CENTRAL - For those of you who feel that "A
Neopinglish Dictionary" was incomplete, I have created a companion Neopinglish
Dictionary for you with more Neopinglish definitions.
DEFINITIONS
Abominable Snowball: A Spooky Petpet made out of snow. Not be be confused
with a Gingah which is a Winter Petpet made out of food.
Auction: A place where you can put your Donksaur up for sale for six days
so you can wait 5 days, 11 hours and 59 minutes for someone to buy it for less
than it is worth.
Battledome: A place where you can take your Faerie Krawk to be sprayed with
Chia Flour and be turned into a yellow Chia absolutely free.
Chia: A type of Neopet that comes in a dozen different types of fruit just
so Lupes never get tired of eating them.
Collectible Card: A private collection of pictures and paragraph-long stories
that are exactly like the entries in the Neopedia except you get to pay thousands
of Neopoints to hide them where nobody ever sees them.
Dr. Frank Sloth: A creature who came to Neopia before Neopia existed. That
means that not only does he have the psychic ability to predict when new worlds
will pop up, but can live without food for hundreds of years just so he can
torture the native inhabitants when they instantly evolve overnight.
Employment Agency: A place where you spend 90% of your time looking for "jobs"
for your Neopet despite the fact that you do all the work. Jobs are seldom available
and require you to buy 16 Fire Faeries for a 3000 Neopoint loss. This is not
to be confused with "Earth Faerie Quests" which require you to buy one Fire
Faerie for a 3000 Neopoint loss.
Faeries: Winged ladies with magical powers so strong they can boost the stats
of your pets, but who don't know where to go to find books so they ask you to
do it for them despite the fact that there is a bookstore in Faerieland. They
also come in a small bottled version for quick-blessing convenience.
Faerie Paint Brush: A cool paint brush that gives Neopets wings, even if they
already have a set a wings. It also makes your pet dainty and pretty and is
usually used on pets named something like macho_strong_guy3675.
Free Parking: An option at the Neolodge that isn't free. This only seems fair
since Neopets don't have automobiles anyway.
Frozen: A very very very long Neopets vacation, obviously to the North Pole.
HTML: An abbreviation that stands for "Hard To Make Load". This is the language
that computers use when they want to talk about you behind your back. You will
need to learn this language in order to beg your Pet Page to stop looking boring.
Invisible Paint Brush: A Paint Brush that can only be used to turn a couple
of different Neopets invisible, despite the fact that all invisible Neopets
look the same.
Jelly World: A world that Neopets claims doesn't exist but they go to the
trouble of posting a link to it in the game "Cellblock".
Junior Saver Bank Account: A bank account that says you can have zero Neopoints
in it, but you can't open a bank account with zero Neopoints.
Lost Desert: A sandy place that is not only easy to find, but only has one
page so you couldn't possibly get lost in it when you get there.
Money Tree: The place where ghosts go to great pains to steal all of the Palm
Fans despite the fact that no one wants them anyway.
NeoCircle: Just like a NeoSquare, only rounder.
NeoHome: A private gallery for furniture that makes all of your expensive
furniture look weird after you put it there so no one ever bothers to look at
it, even you.
Neomail: A way for Neopians to Neosend Neomessages to their Neofriends to
Neotalk about their Neopets. However, if you Neobug them too many Neotimes,
they may Neoblock you.
Nerkmid: An object that can only be used in the Alien Vending Machine and
is totally worthless if you use it but is worth a lot if you sell it so it is
always changing hands. It is sort of like the Christmas fruitcake of Neopian
currency.
Newbie: (See Noob) Someone who has just joined Neopets and is the target of
scammers and hackers despite the fact that Newbies never have any Neopoints
to steal.
Noob: Someone who is NOT new to Neopets but has such a terrific sense of humor
that they offer you a Carrot and Pea Omelette for your Dark Battle Duck in the
Trading Post.
Notice Board: A place where you can spend millions of Neopoints to be totally
ignored by everyone in Neopia.
Pickulsaur: A Petpet that has the I.Q. of an El Picklesaur Plushie, but is
better looking.
Split Paint Brush: A paint brush that paints your pet purple and orange. This
is not to be confused with a Purple Paint Brush that paints your pet purple
and orange.
Password: A word some people never get tired of trying to find different ways
of saying in Neomail or on message boards, especially when they are asking random
people for one because they like any other account better than their own.
Petpet Battledome: A place where you can take your Snowbunny to have the stuffing
knocked out of him instead of taking your Cybunny to the Battledome to have
the stuffing knocked out of him.
Pinklet: A Petpet that is still called a Pinklet even if it is green or blue.
Scratchcards: A Lenny Conundrum that costs you 600 Neopoints to play. It tells
you that only squares with prizes count but gives you circles to scratch. This
is why nobody ever wins anything.
Sinsis Sword: A very stylish Battledome weapon that looks great when worn
with your totally worthless Sinsis Crown.
Soup Kitchen: A place where Newbies can feed their Neopets for free for the
first week after joining Neopets because after a week they have more than 2,000
Neopoints and despite the fact that Newbies seldom discover it for several weeks
anyway.
Tiki-Tack Keyring: An item that serves no purpose whatsoever, but that's okay
because there aren't any keys in Neopia to go into the ignition of the automobiles
that don't exist in Neopia.
Trading Post: A place specifically created so Noobs can offer you a Carrot
and Pea Omelette for your Dark Battle Duck.
Wall of Shame: A place where scammers, hackers and cheaters can go to get
really good ideas without having to think them up for themselves.
Wand of the Light Faerie: Exactly like a Sceptre of the Light Faerie, which
is exactly like a Staff of the Light Faerie, only different.
Wishing Well: A place where you can waste a perfectly good opportunity to
ask for a Balthazar's Claw by asking for a Blue Satin Collar instead.
World Map: A map of the world of Neopia that shows that one centimeter equals
100 miles. This means that Meridell Castle is 50 miles high. That's more than
48 miles taller than Mount Everest. No wonder King Skarl is so grumpy. It takes
a week to go from his bedroom to the bathroom.
So there you have it. Everything you ever wondered about Neopia but couldn't
find the answers to in the Neopedia. I hope this has been a real help to you.
If it hasn't... well, I'm not surprised.
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