MERIDELL - I was scanning through the New Features section one morning, and
noticed a new game. It was called Turdle Racing. Since I love turtles, and liked
Poogle Racing, I thought I'd give Turdle Racing a try. Now don't get me wrong,
the game is nice, but I can't help but wonder...
Turdle Racing is very similar to Poogle Racing, except that the Turdles start
in the centre of a big circle and try to get to the outside. Another difference
is that you can only see the Poogle Race at a certain time, and you can see
a Turdle Race any time. I think that that was the thing that made me start to
wonder about the little starry Scorchio sitting at the betting booth.
How do we know that Turdle Racing isn't a scam thought up by some evil Neopets
in Neopia? I mean, the facts are all there. Just try to answer how they got
all these things:
1. How did they manage to get their hands on five rare Turdles? I mean,
Turdles cost an awful lot in people's shops, and how could they get five in Ye
Olde Petpets? That store sells out VERY quickly!
2. Why is it that the race can be shown any time? How are we sure that
this isn't fixed? Think about it...Stinky is meant to be the fastest and best
Turdle, yet I haven't ever seen him win!
3. How did they come up with the names for those Turdles anyway? I mean,
the inspiration must've come from somewhere, right?
4. How did the Scorchio at the Betting Booth get to be painted starry?
Starry paint brushes cost a whole lot, so where did they get the money?
Well, there are my questions. I have some answers for these questions as well:
1. I think that they stole them from unsuspecting Neopians in Meridell.
Maybe the rumours about Turmaculus eating Petpets is true, and they stole them
from Turmaculus! Perhaps they bribed the Pant Devil...
2. I think that people lie. Stinky is the best, but how does he lose
all the time? He obviously ISN'T the best, since I don't think Turdles have
such mental complexes to be on losing streaks.
3. I think they named them as adjectives to describe how mean the people
running Turdle Racing are. Perhaps the names are describing the money the Turdle
Racing people have. Dirty money, Stinky money, same thing, right?
4. It's all simple. The Scorchio has tons of money, so he bought a starry
paint brush with all the money he has!!!
Getting angry, I decided to go and talk to the Scorchio himself.
Ajennsis: Excuse me...Sir...
Scorchio: Ya wanna bet? I'll take yer money for ya now!
Ajennsis: Er, that's all right. I'd like to ask you some questions about
your racing.
Scorchio: Ya sure, go ahead a'ready!
Ajennsis: Thank you. I have a series of questions, so-
Scorchio: Ask 'em all at once! I'm a busy lad, ya know.
Ajennsis: Okay, here goes: How did you get five Turdles? Why is the race
not shown at special time intervals? Where did those Turdles get their names?
How are you starry? Are you a criminal Mastermind? Who's your partner in crime?
Fess up, buddy!
Scorchio: Leave now, crumb!
Ajennsis: You didn't answer me...I won't budge until my questions are
answered!
Scorchio: Fine! The Turdles are mine, I don't like schedules, I'm friends
with Matt the Wocky from Sewage Surfer and he gave me the names, he also gave
me a paint brush, I ain't a criminal, I don't have no partner in crime! Out,
NOW!
Although it seemed very peculiar that one pet would have five Petpets, I left
the booth. I assumed he was lying.
Well, there you have it. Something as peaceful as watching Turdles race has
turned into a big criminal mastermind plan. Of course, my friends tell me that
I often exaggerate things, jump to conclusions, don't listen to reasoning and
am too obsessed with criminal plans, so I can't really talk much about this
issue. Choose what you want: Am I just being the town fool who has only insane
ideas, or am I the misunderstood person on the verge of making an earthshaking
discovery? | 
