It was ten at night when I finally settled in to watch
slogpeice theatre's production of Socklet on my TV screen when a knock sounded
at my door. I sighed, because I was missing the "to smell or not to smell" scene,
per usual.
I shoved Blue the yellow Babaa (who had found
his way into my heart as well as my fridge) off my head and answered the door
to a rather charming fire faerie, who seemed as if she had been drenched at
the healing springs by a very nutty uber water faerie.
"What can I do for you? Like I care," I grunted.
Few things disturb me more than being bothered at home by a case.
The faerie looked at me and gave a small sigh.
"I'm sorry to have bothered you at your erm, apartment," she began looking about
the messy apartment. I'm not a neat freak. "But I have a case of dire emergency."
"Come in," I sighed rolling my eyes holding
the door. Blue perked up and bounced over as the fire faerie took a seat in
my kitchen. I opened a can of neocola. "What's up?"
"Mister Night, I feel I should tell you that
you'll probably think I'm crazy for this," the fire faerie began.
"I already think you're crazy," I muttered.
"Continue anyway."
"Mister Night you may call me Pyra, I'm an apprentice
uber fire faerie. Late last night in the back room of the hidden tower, a few
select items were stolen."
"What were they?"
"A Sword of the Air Faerie, Fake Von Roo Fangs,
Fire and Ice blade and the Yo Yo of Death. We're in dire need of a detective
to solve this crime."
"Get someone else, this is my week off. Detective
Lupe or MonoKeras or even Agent Magnolia," I grunted waving my hands.
"They are all on assignments. And Shankly Holmes
is out on 'business' leave. I have reason to believe he's doing other things,"
Pyra responded coolly.
I gave a grumble as the "To Smell or Not To
Smell" scene began. I strained my ears to listen to the scene as the fire faerie
went on and on.
"To smell or not to smell that is the question...
whether tis more noble to suffer the fumes of outrageous feet or to take into
the dryer and by opposing get stuck in the spin cycle..." the TV blared.
"Mister Night are you even listening to a word
I'm SAYING?" Pyra demanded banging her hand on a table.
"No. I got a week off, I'm taking it!" I snapped
as Blue began to nibble on the sofa.
"Did I mention you'll be paid ten times your
normal rate?" Pyra added.
"My normal rate is five hundred a day. This
case will take at least five days. Oh!" I said suddenly. "Twenty five thousand
Neopoints for a case!"
"Yes Mister Night. That's the approximate amount,"
Pyra nodded.
"OK then! I'll start working tomorrow!" I nodded
gleefully as Pyra left. As soon as she shut the door I began singing. "Monday,
Tuesday happy days! Wednesday, Thursday, Fridays happy days! Saturday! Whatta
day! Grooving all week with you!" I sang.
Blue starred at me wide-eyed in fear.
"Heeh," I said weakly. "I'm OK now..."
Blue meeped something that sounded like "Riiiiiiight."
The Next Day...
I grumbled and got out of my bed as about 9
AM and fell smack dab on the floor. Blue sniggered.
"Shut up," I grumbled as I walked into my kitchen
quickly devouring a stack of cold hot cakes with blue's assistance. I then made
a beeline for my trenchcoat, fedora and a notepad and headed for the bus to
Faerieland.
I sighed trying to keep Blue from nibbling other
people's tails and such as the bus climbed the highway into the sky. When it
finally stopped with a lurch I put the sheep atop my head and bustled into Faerie
City, careful to avoid eye contact.
The city was alive as I began to look for the
Hidden Tower. It WAS hidden, so it took me a good 30 minutes to find it. I walked
smack into it when I finally did manage to find it. After briefly becoming invisible
I made my way up the winding steps and into the main room. Everything was closed
off. I knocked anyway.
"The Hidden Tower is closed for the moment.
Please come back later," an airy voice sounded.
"Can't. I was hired to take this case by Pyra,"
I replied.
"Oh. Come in...." The voice sounded back opening
the giant wooden door. The voice belonged to Fyora the Faerie Queen.
"I thought you were on vacation," she said rudely.
"Yeah. So was I," I grumbled. "Just tell me
what happened Queenie."
"Dark Night, I believed Pyra informed you of
this."
"I MEANT new revelations. Clues, suspects,"
I replied.
"Oh. That. Well, we're sure it's a hacker or
something," Fyora nodded.
"Don't be so sure," I replied darkly as I bent
down over where the Fire and Ice Blades were once kept. "Dark Chocolate smeer.
Blue, c'mere."
The yellow Babaa hopped over and began to taste
the smeer.
"Well? What is it?" I asked.
Blue meeped in reply. I translated.
"Apparently it's from a dark chocolate chia
that was consumed sixteen hours ago by a Lupe of abnormally large proportions."
I translated quickly.
"My you can understand Sheep of Doomish well,"
Fyora commented, taken aback.
"What can I say? It's a gift!" I replied. "I
have a vague idea of suspects. Blue, pack a grass skirt! We're off to Mystery
Island!"
"What are you doing going on vacation in the
middle of a case?" Fyora demanded.
"I'm NOT going on vacation. I'm going for a
suspect!" I replied picking the yellow Babaa up and descending the hidden tower
out the window. I soared above the clouds for a moment, enjoying the view. Blue
meeped happily, as did I. I slowly came in for a landing at Mystery Island,
landing near the battle dome. I grinned at my luck of finding the ghost Lupe.
"What do you want mortal?" he questioned, eyeing
me carefully.
"I want to know what you know about the Hidden
Tower break in last night at about ten at night," I said.
"I don't know nothing about that," he replied
shadily.
"Positive then?" I asked.
"Of course."
"Very well then. May I ask what you ate the
other day?"
"Relatively speaking, I can't eat, being a ghost
and all."
"True. Sorry to have disturbed you. C'mon Blue,"
I sighed taking to the air again, flapping over to the haunted woods.
***
Later on, I somehow found myself wandering in the haunted woods in the search
for the faerie catch the elusive Balthazar. And find him I did. I literally
ran into him.
"Watch it shorty!" he hissed suddenly as I ran
into his enormous Lupe body for no apparent reason.
"Why don't you can it?" I snapped back.
"Oh? Got a little attitude do we then? Maybe
you'd like to simmer that attitude down in the Battledome?" he grinned rather
cockily.
"Oh? What weapons you got?" I prodded.
"Oh, just a nice Fire and Ice Blade, Yo Yo of
Death, Fake Von Roo Fangs and a Sword of the Air Faerie," he responded quickly.
"AHA! So you DID break into the Hidden Tower!"
I shouted.
"Don't be feeding words into my mouth flatfoot,"
the gargantuan Lupe retorted.
"Oh Bathy! Maybe you ought to get your pituitary
gland checked!" I snapped back, suddenly regretting the words I just said.
"OH? Maybe you should zip your harling screamer!"
Balthazar shouted rather loudly, shaking the near by trees.
I ran suddenly and without warning, Blue right
behind me. Balthazar followed my lead and I leapt through a hollow tree. I grinned
as I watched big beefy Balthazar get stuck in the tree, and suddenly began to
laugh as hard as I did when watching Socklet.
"HA! Now THAT is priceless!" I snorted with
laughter. Pyra appeared next to me, grinning ear to ear.
"Very well done Mister Night! In one day too!
However, I still will see that you are paid 25,000 Neopoints for your services!"
"All right then," I grinned happily as Pyra
handed me a bag of Neopoints
"And Dark," the Faerie grinned.
"Yes?"
"Nice work," Pyra grinned and disappeared in
a flash of smoke. Blue meeped at me and we flew back home to my apartment. Somehow
they had reairred Socklet, so I was overjoyed.
But as everyone should know by now, it'd only
be a matter of time before a new case attacked.
The End
Note: Night is not associated with Tracer Bullet of Calvin and Hobbes.
Socklet is a lowbrow production of Hamlet with plushie painted Slorgs, just
so you know.
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