Crisis Strikes the Conference Room at Neopets, Inc.
NEOPIA CENTRAL - A couple of weeks ago, ten random Neopets staff members were
called to a meeting in the never before used conference room no one knew existed
at Neopets, Inc. Eight of these ten staff members wished to remain nameless
as I secretly interviewed them about what they were doing, so Adam, Donna and
the gang must've really been embarrassed to have to admit the problem.
The problem turned out to be that over 100 Neopets games were not enough to
satisfy the millions of people who play them. There just weren't enough around.
Sure they could make up new ones, but at this day in age, there is an extreme
shortage of ideas in this cruel world we live in. Some had ideas for brand new
games! Others had ideas for different variations of games. However, at the end
of the meeting, all of them decided that they were all awful and boring, so
none of the games I am about to mention to you exist, and in the future, let
us hope, that none of them will. So sit back, relax, finish your chores, do
your homework, come back here, and read these so called "wonderful" ideas only
Adam and Donna had that no one else in the whole wide world even considered
Game Variation #1: Voodoo Whack-A-Staff-Member
Ah yes! We all love to sit down and play a good game of Whack-A-Staff-Member,
but we all know that there is an important element missing: No actual pain is
being felt. Yes, sadly it turns out that those cartoons you are whacking in
the game aren't the real people! They are mere phoneys that they just put in
so they wouldn't get hurt! But with this great idea (created by the clever Adam
himself) will have players just dying to hit Donna smack dab on the head! The
cartoons will be replaced with voodoo dolls, and as of now, Adam is trying to
pluck a hair from Donna's head so the voodoo doll will be active! Adam also
plans on having Donna be the only character on the game, to make it easier as
Game Variation #2: Pet Rock Races
Who says Turdles are the fastest petpets around? The Neopets Team doesn't,
that's for sure! Therefore, as of Spring of the year 592,645,174,284, those
Turdles will be placed with pet rocks! In fact, they already have the rocks
they are going to use picked out! First will be Stone Head, the fastest of them
all! He is a Halloween Pet Rock with an attitude that will make him the Idol
of every other rock out there! The next one is Sand Stone, using her swift abilities
to slide across the finish line, she is one of the fastest rocks out there!
And finally we have Granite, who has been legally dead for about 8 years now.
He hasn't moved since his poor death (he was skidded across Kiko Lake). Not
too many bet on this one, but some grateful people out there still have hope!
Game Variation #3: Potato Counter Extreme!!!
This game is totally awesome! Instead of the usual amount of potatoes you normally
have to count (sometimes as low as 20) you are guaranteed to have to count at
least 3000! But in this game, things are different! Sometimes different things
will suddenly be thrown at you! While you may be on a roll counting over 2000
potatoes, all of a sudden, a marrow will pop up! You might count that by accident,
and have to start all over again! But don't worry if you have to, because remember:
Counting is fun!!! Also, if it takes you 3 hours or more to play this game,
you will not receive any NP, so act fast! Also, since this version is slightly
harder than the previous one, Adam has decided to be generous enough to let
you have up to 65 NP per play! Isn't that nice of him?
New Game Idea #1: Codestone, Asparagus, and Water!
Based on the famous Rock, Paper, Scissors; Codestone, Asparagus, and Water
is sure to be a great hit! It is a two player game you play with your pet. Using
only 3 different elements, you have three seconds to pick the one that you think
will defeat the other player's element! Codestone crushes Asparagus, breaking
it apart and tearing it to shreds! Asparagus absorbs the Water, therefore making
it more powerful! And Water, well, Water actually does nothing at all, it doesn't
harm Codestone or Asparagus, but hey! That is no reason at all not to select
it as your element!
New Game Idea #2: Choose your own extremely boring life!
Ah, yes! When you are finished counting potatoes and deciding whether or not
you should Spell or Starve, why not go ahead and play this fun new game? You
start out by choosing what school you go to. A prep school? A public school?
A private school? Then you get to pick your career! Do you become a scientist
that studies the effects of tearless onions, do you choose to be a greedy banker
that suddenly goes mad and decides to rob a random supermarket, or do you become
a monitor for a virtual pet site? Then you decide how to retire! Do you live
at the wealthy Senior Estate, or do you find a run down Old Persons' Home? The
game takes between 67-108 years to play, but is well worth it! You can get up
to 1000 NP per play!!! Now that's a great deal!!! But remember, only three plays
Now I can understand right now that many of you must be crying and be filled
with sadness because you know that these ideas were rejected by the other eight
staff members! Never fear however: someday you can create your own gaming
site, and add as many of these ideas as you wish! Except for the fact that
a lot of these ideas include trademarks, and they are way too boring to even
consider making, let me tell you now...you won't make a single one of these.
But there is always hope that new staff members will arrive and approve of these
splendid ideas! But until then, keep you hopes down!