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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 2nd day of Eating, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 26 > Continuing Series > Al Goes West: Part Two

Al Goes West: Part Two

by al_the_chia

Fluffy and Thornpaw entered Town Hall, taking a seat next to a elderly Gelert. "Excuse me sir, do you know what this meeting is all about?" Thornpaw whispered to the Gelert.

The Gelert raised a trembling paw. "See that thar boy? The one shakin' and shiverin' more than me? He was the only witness to a terr-e-bul crime. Someone robbed the bank!"

Thornpaw gasped. "A real live western bank robbery?!?"

"You ain't from these parts, are you?"

The mayor, a lanky gold Gelert with a monocle, slammed his hammer down on the podium. "ORDAH!! ORDAH I SAY!!!" The Gelerts all quieted down as the mayor cleared his throat. "All righty then folks, now, this here boy was at the scene of the crime, see? Ya'll hearin' me? Now, we haven't heard nothin' from the poor shell-shocked lad but him prattlin' on about some durn Skeith and sum durn Kau, ya'll hear? Now, after an extensive evidence check, we discovered pawprints that could've only belonged to one pet… I hope ya'll payin' attention now, cause this is important. We discovered that it could've only been… RANCID REX!!"

The crowd began to buzz.

"Rancid Rex?" Thornpaw asked confusedly. "Weird name… Is he from Haunted Forest or something?"

"NO BOY!!" the elderly Gelert yelled. "He's from here, and he must be the stinkiest Skeith to ever roam Neopia!! I suggest you leave town--Things could get ugly…."

"Are you kidding me? This is the adventure of a lifetime! I don't think I'm going to flee town. No way! I want to investigate this further!!"

The mayor slammed the hammer again. "ORDAH!!!! ORDAH!!!! YA'LL SHUT UP NOW!! QUIET!!"

The crowd didn't seem to hear him. Finally, the Gelert pulled out a Frost Cannon and fired it into the air. BLAM!! The crowd fell silent.

"That's bettah," the Mayor muttered.

Suddenly, a chunk of the ceiling hit by the Frost Cannon whacked a blue Gelert in the front row on the head. He fell over, knocking the Gelerts over next to him. Total mayhem ensued. The mayor was yelling himself hoarse as the whole town of Cactus Fanny began to fight. Punches and chairs flew all over the place, and several Gelerts were thrown out the window.

Thornpaw fled, a bucket narrowly missing his head. "Whew… that was close. Well, looks like these pets aren't going to be of much help… I'll have to track down that Rancid Rex myself! Now where's Al?"

"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFLE!!!!" Al bellowed, clinging on for dear life as the bull began to buck and thrash. "AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!"

Thornpaw shrugged. "Oh well. It doesn't matter. We don't need him anyway. Come on Fluffy! We need to get a Kau!!"

Meanwhile, back at the rodeo…

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

Al was still on the bull, bucking and thrashing about. The bull Kau was beginning to look a bit annoyed about Al's screaming. "Sir… Could you please stop screeching in my ear?"

"PLEASE!! LET ME OFF!! I'M NO KAUBOY!! I'M A LUPOLOGIST!!" The bull stopped dead in its tracks, throwing Al off his back and onto the ground with a thud. "A Lupologist?" The bull Kau looked down at Al carefully. "Hey… I know you. You're that one guy. You discovered the cure for Lupingitis! Al!! That's it!! Alex T. Chia!"

"Mppppph..." Al muttered into the ground.

"Wow! I just threw someone famous off my back and screaming into the ground! What an honour!" The bull Kau reached into a nearby barrel, producing a notepad and a pen. "Could I have your autograph before I gore you with my horns?"

Thornpaw and Fluffy got two Kaus to go on their adventure, and after buying a few small trinkets they would need, set off in the direction that Rancid had left.

"OH GIVE ME A HOOOOOOOOOME, WHERE THE EUSTABEE ROOOOOOOOOOAM, AND THE UUUUUUUNI AND KRAWKADON PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAY…" Thornpaw sang in a loud, off key tenor. Fluffy reached into his backpack and picked up a pan. "WHERE SEEEEEEEELDOM IS HEEEEEEEE--"

WHOCK!!! Fluffy hurled the pan, which neatly hit Thornpaw on the head.

"OOOOWW!!! Did you really have to do that?" Fluffy nodded, as well as both the Kaus, who were chuckling quietly.

Rancid Rex galloped away from his hideout, humming. "We got away with all them Neopoints! Think of what we can buy!"

"A chiropractor?" Kaupoke moaned, hearing his back snap as he carried the massive Skeith

"You don't need no back doctoring! Now giddyup! We got more banks to rob!!"

Suddenly, Rex saw something off in the distance. "Eh? What's that?"

Kaupoke raised a hoof to his brow to block out the sun. "It's two pets on Kaus… A Lupe and… a-a-a a Cobrall? They're coming up fast."

Rex gasped. "They're headin' straight for our hideout! We gotta stop them! If we're quick, we can head them off at the pass." Rex beamed. "I always wanted to say that: Head them off at the pass."

"CAN WE JUST GO SO YOU CAN GET OFF MY BACK?!?" Kaupoke screamed.

Thornpaw and Fluffy soon arrived at "The Pass". Thornpaw looked around. "Hey, what is a "Pass", exactly?" Fluffy shrugged.

Suddenly, a Frost Cannon shot whizzed by Fluffy's head, making his Kau rear up and moo. Thornpaw gasped. "It's… It's…"

Rancid Rex fired his Frost Cannon into the air. "HAR HAR HAR!! That's right varmint! I'm Rancid Rex, the greatest outlaw in the west!!" He aimed his cannon carefully. "And you ain't getting' no further than this!!"

BLAM!! Suddenly, the rocks on the cliffside of the canyon began to rumble. Rex laughed and galloped away, leaving Fluffy and Thornpaw wondering.

"Whaa…" Thornpaw looked up. "AVALANCHE!!!! ALERT THE MOUNTIES!!!"

They fled forward as the rocks began to fall!!

"AIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!" Thornpaw screeched.

"HIIIIIIIIISSSS!!" Fluffy cried.

"MOOOOOOOO!!!" bellowed the Kaus. Soon, they were overrun by the rocks, and disappeared beneath the rubble....

Al galloped along, humming and holding a rodeo trophy filled with 10,000 NP. "Well, that was fun," he said as he looked around.

"Indeed it was," the bull Kau added from underneath him. "It was a pleasure to give you a ride… and I wonder if we can catch up with Thornpaw and Fluffy in time…" The bull suddenly paused, looking at a large pile of rocks blocking the path.

"That's odd…" Al jumped off the bull Kau and stepped forward. "Looks like someone caused an avalanche from the cliffs up there…"

Suddenly, a white paw shot from the rubble, firing a rock into Al's face.

"AHHHHHH!!" Al screamed, blindly running around in circles. "A FLOUD FLEW INTO MY FACE AGAIN!!!"

Another paw shot out, and then a head. Finally, Thornpaw pulled himself completely out, Fluffy clinging to his tail. The bull Kau smiled.

"Ah, you must be Thornpaw and Fluffy. Allow me to introduce myself. I am…"

"AUUUGH!! GET IT OFF!!" Al screeched, interrupting the Kau.

"Excuse me…" The Kau whacked the back of Al's head, and the rock flew off his face. "That's better. Now, could you please tell us what happened here?"

Thornpaw brushed dust off his fur as Fluffy slithered onto Al's dented head. "Oh, nothing. We just had a run-in with Rancid Rex, and he shot into the air and made lots of noise, causing an avalanche to crush me, Fluffy, and our Kaus."

Fluffy coughed up a large pebble, hissing angrily. Al placed a new pair of glasses onto his face as he recovered. "So what are we waiting for? Let's go after him!"

Rancid Rex sat in his makeshift camp, munching on a Fluffy Faerie Pancake. "Heh heh heh! We sure showed them fools that we were the rulers of Western Neopia, right Kaupoke?"

"Whatever. Just give me my back ointment," Kaupoke snapped, massaging the back of his neck.

Rex turned to retrieve it from his bag when he noticed the three Kaus and their riders galloping up to him. "KauPOKE!! IT'S THEM GOODY TWO-SHOES!!"

They surrounded the camp, galloping towards the two outlaws.

"Rancid Rex, this is your last chance! Give back the 80,000!!"

Rex whipped out his Frost Cannon and snarled. "You'll have to come and git it first!!"

Al's posse jumped off their Kaus and yelled as they charged…

AFTER THE BIG FIGHT…

Thornpaw tied the bundled-up Rex and put him onto his Kau. Al hummed as he threw the hog-tied Kaupoke on top of him.

"Well, that was the greatest battle I've ever seen in my life!!" Al stated.

"You said it. He almost had us there," Thornpaw responded.

And so, our heroes took their captives and returned to Cactus Fanny. After returning the 80,000 NP, the Mayor gave them each medals. Al wanted to continue the Tomahock Lupe quest, so they said their good-byes and continued. But something happened as they were leaving…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! Alarms sounded that midnight as the entire jail collapsed in on itself. Kaupoke moaned as he carried away Rex over a large hill. "Do we REALLY have to go? I got medical attention back there, you know…"

"SHUT UP AND MOVE OR WE'LL GET CAUGHT!! GIDDYUP!! HYA!"

"Owwwww…"

"HAR HAR HAR!! NO PRISON CAN HOLD RANCID REX!!! HAR HAAAAAAAR HAAAAAA!!!"

The End

Previous Episodes

Al Goes West: Part One

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