Al and Peace by al_the_chia |  |
Al fled through the thick trees and heavy overgrowth, screaming. Fluffy clung
to his leg, hissing unhappily. Hollypaw the Christmas Lupe snarled as she pursued.
“I’LL GET YOU YET YOU OVERGROWN PLUSHIE!!” she screamed.
Al stumbled over a large rock, panting. “I can’t… go… much… longer…” Fluffy
hissed, squeezing Al’s leg and making him yelp in pain. Al looked down to see
a menacing glare stare up. “FINE!! I’LL GO LONGER!!” He leapt over a fallen
branch, and tumbled down a grassy hillside, neatly landing and pausing for a
second. “Whew, it would have been bad had I hit that branch!” Hollypaw crashed
straight through it, growling and roaring like a Kougra. “AHHH!!” Al screamed
in horror as she closed in…
WHAM!! Hollypaw fell over, knocked silly. “But mommy, I don’t wanna
go to school,” she mumbled before going unconscious.
Al, by this time shriveled up into a ball, suddenly looked up. A Lupe with
a hammer was grinning evilly at Hollypaw. “This, like, is one Chia YOU'RE not
going to get, nark!!”
“AHHH!!” Al screamed. The Lupe screamed as well. Al was just about to dash
away (Fluffy a bit shaken, but still attached to his leg) when he noticed something.
The Lupe wasn’t trying to look vicious or anything! He stopped. “Hm… This could
be interesting…” he thought. He stopped, giving the Lupe a tentative smile.
The Lupe gave him a friendly smile right back, bright white teeth grinning.
“Like, hey dude! I’m Peacepaw! And like, welcome to our peaceful domain!”
Al suddenly realised he was in the Lupe’s territory. And it was somewhat strange
for a Lupe territory. Birds fluttered and tweeted happily, and bees hummed along
rows and rows of flowers. Happy little PetPets of all kinds skipped along the
sunlit trees.
“Uh…” Al was freaked out beyond belief, but he still kept a nice smile pasted
on his face. “Thank you. I’m Al, and this is Fluffy.” Fluffy, who had by this
time gotten off Al’s leg, was frolicking among the flowers. Al finally got to
get a good look at the Lupe’s clothing. He wore a rainbow coloured headband
with purple sunglasses, and had a cloud-patterned coat with a tie-dye rainbow
T-shirt, and a strange necklace with a peace symbol on it. He noticed a friendly
little pink Miamouse frolicking around him, and also noted that he had a huge,
flowing mop of hair on the top of his head.
“Like, dude, why are you, like, staring at me?” He inquired.
“Er, I’m just admiring your.. er…” he thought of what would be appropriate
to say to a Lupe like this, “uh…Groovy clothes…”
The Lupe laughed, a snorting, airy sound. “Thanks, this cost me like, a bundle.
So, like, would you like to like, uh, meet my pack?” Al smiled, a sly looking
passing over his face. “Sure…”
Al walked along the rows of flowers, not helping feeling slightly sickened
by the cutesy appearance of the wood. “Welcome to Paradise!” Peacepaw said,
throwing a flower into the air, where a dove flew in and grabbed it, cooing
joyously. A sparkling rainbow appeared behind his back, and out of nowhere,
happy, sappy music began to play. Al felt a slight twinge in his stomach as
he wiped off his glasses. The strangely happy world was starting to get to him.
“ER, it’s very, ER… Groovy…” The Lupe smiled that odd, sappy smile and snorted
that same sappy laugh again. “Thanks dude, it took like, eternity to get all
the Heart Trees installed.” Al looked around, amazed. Not by the sappy music
and sparkling cleanness, but by the variety of pets that were there. Not just
Lupes were in Peacepaw’s pack. There were also several Chias. In the happy,
sappy environment, the Chias were in their element, skipping and giggling like
schoolgirl Kacheeks who just got their hands on a sugary Chia pop. Fluffy seemed
to like the guitar and sitar music playing out of nowhere, and was joining in
the dancing. Al was even more freaked out than he was before, but this was proving
educational for him.
“Hm… how come you have…”
“The Chias?” Peacepaw interrupted Al mid-question. “Well, you see, were dedicated
to peace and love and harmony between Lupes and Chias for all eternity!”
At the sound of the words, everyone cheered. Several birds flew by and the
rainbow appeared again. Al nodded, his stomach turning a sickened knot. “I see…”
Al’s secretly hidden handy dandy camera was whirring out of control from its
hidden pocket, and Al’s handy dandy tape recorder was going full speed.
“Right now, we’re continuing our festival of joy. Right after that is the festival
of music, then love, then peace, then happiness…” His words seemed to fade as
visions of Neobel awards danced in Al’s head. The Chia-loving Lupes!! It was
too perfect!! He’d write a book on it! He’d be famous! All the world would cheer
for him! AL! AL! AL!!…
“Al? Al?”
Al jumped up with a start. “ER, yes, well, let’s start celebrating!”
Al sat down in a circle with a few Chias and Lupes. “All right, today we’re
going to sing a song about how happy our happy community is, and then we’ll
do the happy dance.”
Al looked at the Lupes. They all smiled, but somehow, they seemed to be a little
too sappy.
“Yeah!” one cried. “All right!” another chanted.
“Peace out!” one bellowed.
The Chias all went into high-pitched giggles. Al felt the urge to throw up.
“All right! Ready? I’ll sing the words and you sing along after I finish!” Al
checked his hidden handy dandy tape recorder, keeping his false smile stuck
on his face as best as he could. “Ready? One, two, three!…
Oh, if I were, unhappy,
I’d be happy again,
Because I live with happy people,
Who are all my happy friends!
…Everybody!” Al sang along, feeling his stomach gurgle. He shook it off, reminding
himself that he was working for a Neobel, and continued singing along off-key,
smiling stiffly all the while. Several pets near him covered their ears, scooting
away. “Again!” He sang the cursed song again. “Again!” Yet again, they went
through the song. Al looked to the other Lupes and Chias It seemed like they
didn’t mind singing it again. “Weird…” Al thought.
“Again!!” Skypaw cried.
By this time, Al was feeling fit to burst. His glasses began to slip off his
face as he tried to keep smiling. “Where’s Fluffy?” he thought. “Why am I here?
I’m gonna throw up! I can’t take it anymore!” Al’s eyes began to swivel wildly
in their sockets. “Just try to think happy, happy thoughts, happy thoughts…”
Sweat poured down his face and he started to tremble as they went onto the third
run. "Chia pops, Lupe Books, spying on Hollypaw..." Al tried to keep his happy,
sappy thoughts up to match the happy, sappy groups. “Just two more to go, he
said just five, you can take it Al, you can survive…” he thought. His mouth
was sore from smiling, and his glasses had fallen off. The rest of the group
didn’t even flinch once the whole song. Suddenly, something snapped inside of
Al. And it wasn't just his stomach.
“AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!” He pulled himself from the circle,
clutching his ears. “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!” He stomped through the flower
bed, feeling his stomach lurch. “MAKE IT STOP!! PLEASE!! MAKE IT STOP!!” He
dashed into Lupe forest, bellowing all the while. Peacepaw blinked, an odd look
passing under his sunglasses. "Dude, what a nark!"
Fluffy was doing fine in a happy game of ‘Happy Sack’, which was basically
Hackey Sack with a smiley faced balloon, when he heard Al bellow. He soon rushed
past him, dashing into the forest. Fluffy hissed unhappily. He waved a solemn
so-long to the harmonious PetPets before charging after his owner.
Hollypaw woke up just in time to see Al plummet into the forest. Her eyes widened
as she saw the Chia. "YOU!" Her lips curled into a vicious snarl. Al paused
in front of her, dangerously holding his hands over his mouth. “I… NEED… TO…
URK!!” His stomach did a flip. Hollypaw realised what was happening. She snarled.
“You do it, you die, Chia. I'll rip you apart like a soft, happy, adorable Chia
plushie!” Al couldn’t take it. “OH PI…. HUUUUUUURK!!!”
Hollypaw chased Al for a week straight. The Paradise Pack still continues,
even to this very day. It’s happy, sappy feelings haven’t changed one bit, and
unfortunately, neither have their lyrics. Fluffy was happily in home, warm by
the fire the whole time Al was being chased. And Al? After the week of being
chased, he got caught and was beaten to a sappy pulp. But after he crawled out
of the dumpster, he celebrated his non-happy, non-sappy way of life, and lived
UN-sappily ever after.
The End |
