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Untitled Document
"You would make a great Battledomer, Conspicit." My owner's
words burned through me. I'm a philosopher, an explorer, a writer--and, above
all, a pacifist. I'm also an Island Poogle, but that's beside the point. My owner
has a battling side I've never felt, and never want to feel.
Nevertheless, I found myself watching my older
White Tonu sister for "Some feel of what battling is." Pegasusmon3, or Pegasus
as we called her, was training to be a great Battledomer, and I watched how
she not only used weapons and abilities, but planning to beat her opponents.
That's what we need more of in this world.
We never know what to expect, but we should at least try to be planned and organized,
I thought hopelessly, sitting at the judging desk in front of the Battledome
match. Someone sat down next to me, but I didn't really notice who they were
until they started to talk.
"Oiy... all these Neopians, and no one
to conquer them," he muttered. "A shame."
I turned around and screamed. "AHH! SLOTH!"
The judges of Pegasus' Battledome match,
a Red Skeith, a Yellow Usul, and a Blue Draik, looked at me and whispered sharply,
"Shh!"
"Sorry..." I turned to Sloth and quietly
inquired, "What are you doing here?"
" 'Slothie this, Slothie that. We're too
good for you, Slothie! We don't need you to conquer Neopia! Darigan is a much
better conqueror!' " He covered his face with his green hands and sobbed. "I
can't even go to the Battledome anymore without being bothered!"
I almost felt sorry for the poor guy.
I was his slave a-way's back when I was
a Grundo, and felt extreme hatred towards the guy, but he acted like my
baby cousin. "Did Jhudora dump you or something?" I ventured.
He sobbed more. "For Lord Darigan!"
"Ouch. I always knew she was a loser,
but Darigan...?"
He cried and took out a bottle of a Strawberry
Milkshake.
"NO! Sloth, you're better than that!"
I leapt up as quickly as an Island Poogle can and knocked over the glass bottle,
shattering it and spilling the contents. "That was close. You really need to
put your life back together."
"It's too late now," he mumbled, looking
not at all like the powerful villain he once was.
"Hey! Clean that mess up!" the yellow
Usul judge barked.
Sloth stood up, grabbed a brush and dustpan
(you wouldn't believe how useful those two tools are in the Battledome), and
began to sweep up the glass, sniffling slightly.
"C'mon, Sloth, you know that's not true,"
I said quietly. "There's plenty of other dark faeries besides Jhudora. Personally,
I think you're ten times the conqueror Lord Darigan will ever dream of being
half of. Or... no, wait, that was good. You can crash at leb388's place for
awhile if you need someplace to go. She's my owner, but if she doesn't approve,
Jamez is always there. Look on the bright side, dude," I continued with a smile,
"I used to be your slave, and I've got a bunch of weapons in my backpack, and
I haven't even started to attack you yet!"
"You're right!" he said confidently, hitting
the table with his fist. "I know this 'Leb' will fall madly in love with me!
Take me to her spacepod!" He dumped the dustpan in a nearby trash can.
I sighed. This guy had a lot to learn,
and leb388 was rather amicable, but....
"Leb388IknowIdidsomethingyoumightthinkisevilbutyouhateDariganandsoIthoughtifwehelpedSlothit'llbegoodforMeridell!"
"Calm down!" Leb388 exclaimed, standing
by Pegasus. I heard 'evil,' 'Darigan,' and 'torches.' And why is Sloth here?"
"Leb388, I know I did something you might
think is evil, but you hate Darigan, so I thought if we helped Sloth, it'll
be good for Meridell."
"You mean... there's no torching involved?"
"No," I replied, confused. "Can Sloth
crash at our place?"
"Oh, sure, whatever. And by the way, I
don't hate that Darigan dude. We just don't get along, and he owes me Neopoints."
"Ah," I replied.
"Miss Leb," Sloth said regally, "it would
be an honor to crash at your place."
Leb388 gave Sloth a dirty look. "My name
is leb388. With a '388.' Don't ever make that mistake again."
"I--"
Before Sloth could answer, Pegasus came
back from her Battledome fight. "Leb388, I'm all set to go."
"Great! And I'm proud of you. I'd be proud
of you even if you lost, but...yeah. You know what I mean," leb388 commented
with a shrug.
With the mood set like so, we went home
and introduced Sloth to Li, my Desert Aisha sister, Lebmon, my Striped Pteri
sister, and Keira, my Baby Poogle cousin. Keira shared leb388's general feeling
for Sloth.
"You're ugwy," Keira giggled.
"Well... you're too cute!" Sloth replied
angrily.
"SLOTH! YOU TREAT MY NEICE WITH RESPECT!"
boomed leb388 from the next Neoroom over, the kitchen.
"Sorry, my beloved dearie!" he called
back romantically, prancing to the kitchen.
"What's up with him?" Lebmon asked.
"Well, he needed a place to crash, and
he's apparently got a crush on leb388." I shrugged. "He's trying to make a good
impression, I guess. Well, you don't like him, do you, Keira?"
Keira shook her head. "I don't wike Ugwy.
Unky Conspicit, do you wike Ugwy?"
"You mean Sloth? Well... he separated
me from my family... made me his slave before leb388 rescued me... and is lovestruck
for my owner. No, I don't really like him, Keira, but I did what was best."
"He's ugwy," Keira giggled.
"Keira, it's rude to call someone 'ugly.'
It isn't nice to make fun of someone's appearance," Li scolded.
I sighed and looked out the living room
window that showed Jamez's house... or used to. "LEB388! LI! SLOTH!" I called
fearfully.
Sloth came running, looked out the window,
and gasped. He fell to his knees and whined, "Oh, it's all my fault! All mine!"
"What's all this yelling about?" leb388
inquired, walking in. She looked out the window and gasped. "Hot borovan! It's--IT'S
PEACE!" She ran outside and joined in with what was going on.
It was an unusual sight indeed. Lupes,
holding hands with Chias, danced together. Krawks and Lennys, rivals for the
Wooden Spoon Award, took turns pushing each other on swingsets. Neopets, painted
and plain, stood around them in a circle, singing. It was the most tranquil
scene since Keira flooded our bathroom and made a lake in our Neohome. It was
beautiful, but...very out-of-place.
Looking around, I saw that the streets
were filled with similar Neopets--all merry, without a worry or hatred in the
world. The peaceful Neopets only seemed to be in Neopia Central, but they were
spreading.
Li, Keira (who was clutching a yellow
Poogle toy), Sloth, and I walked outside, while Pegasus and Lebmon stayed inside.
They're not brave enough to handle these situations, and I don't think I am
sometimes, either.
"It wooks pwitty-full," Keira commented.
"Yes. Pretty dangerous," Sloth warned,
sniffing. "It's my fault--all this mess is because I failed to mutate and frighten
these pitiful, insignificant creatures enough. I should now--but I am torn!
My love joins with their melody and dance!" He ran off to find leb388.
"Is Sloth acting... strange?" Li whispered.
"Is he ever not?" I retorted.
"I mean, moreso than usual. Hmm, I think
this is a case. The case of--of--"
"The missing NeoHome?" I ventured. Li
and I were Neopian Explorers and Mystery Solvers, and were constantly solving
cases.
Keira spoke up. "The case of the pwitty-fullness,
Cousin Li?"
"No, no, none of that." Li pensively looked
at Sloth. "That dude has some serious mental problems. This calls for the case
of the... love struck, insane, melancholy villain."
"All right, then." I took out a notebook
and began to write. Keira unzipped her plushie to reveal a mini notebook pad
and a yellow Neocrayon. "What should I write, Unky Conspicit?" Keira asked,
wide-eyed.
"What you see and hear. We need to solve
this mystery, and any information you get will be helpful."
"Okay, Unky Conspicit." Keira nodded and
started to write, and Li also began to take notes.
"Um, Keira--could you not call me 'Unky'?
I'm your cousin, not your uncle," I explained.
"Okay, Unky Conspicit."
I sighed--it was pointless. I started
to walk around, asking Neopians simple questions, like "When did you first feel
this joyful and carefree?" "What happened to the NeoHome that was here?" The
basic answer I received kept playing like a broken Neorecord: "Since forever,
but now we can express it. And what NeoHome? I don't see a NeoHome" I walked
over to find Li and Keira, and we compared our findings. Not surprisingly, they
were the same.
"Actually... on second thought, I don't
think this needs to be solved. It's pretty much a Neo-topia," Li observed. "No
destruction from Sloth, no feuding between Neopets, no erroneous worlds trying
to annihilate each other. Even leb388's happy, which before today I thought
was impossible. I rather like this."
I nodded. "That's true, but what about
Jamez's--"
"MY NeoHome!" JamezBfod, leb388's brother,
exclaimed from his front steps that cliffhanged off to a grassy field full of
peaceful Neopets.
I tried to contain a chuckle when I saw
that he was still turning the key in the non-existent door. "Is there no
justice?" Jamez demanded, then jumped off the steps and ran over to the
meadow filled with Neopets where his home used to be. "My NeoHome is now the
site for comfort, tranquility, and love! It should be full of err and craziness!"
"I wouldn't have ever guessed," I joked
to Li.
"Unky Jamez, why are you unhappy?" Keira
asked, putting her thumb in her mouth and hugging her yellow Poogle plushie.
"My NeoHome was wrecked! Can't you guys
fix it? What happened? You're detectives, right?"
"We're Neopian Explorers and Mystery Solvers,"
I corrected. "And--"
"SLOTH, GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" Jamez
screamed to Sloth, who was across the field talking to leb388.
"The juvenile is correct!" Sloth exclaimed,
suddenly evil and maniacal. "I should stop talking like an intelligent, love
struck person and be me! Destroying, pillaging, villainous me!" Sloth pulled
out a case of vials of Transmogrification Potions, and dumped them on the ground.
Greenish-grey smog billowed up, and the
once-happy Neopets fled. The smog covered the ground and kept rising, and I
started to cough. When I stopped and looked up, the smog formed a Neohome--Jamez's,
completely restored.
"Thanks, Jamez," Sloth said sheepishly,
"for helping me rediscover myself. So for you, I reconstructed your NeoHome"
"Thank you, Slothie," Jamez replied. He
whispered something to Sloth, but all I could hear was "never," "mess with,"
"sister," "again," and "or I'm."
Keira had apparently heard, and she whispered,
"Look--Unky Jamez said, "I'm gonna destwoy you."
"He'd destroy Sloth if he messed with
leb388 again?" I asked, dumbfounded.
She nodded. "But he didn't say 'destwoy'!"
I was about to ask my young cousin what
Jamez really said, but Sloth interrupted me: "Alas, sorry Leb--er, 388. I will
find a new love who returns my love. Goodbye, dearest! So long, talking dog,
and thanks for everything!" Sloth vanished in a puff of smoke.
I sighed. "I'm a Poogle. One day, I'm
going to have to ask leb388 what a 'dog' is."
Li laughed at that, then suddenly seemed
serious. "Look, leb388's upset. Let's go check out what's wrong."
We walked over with Keira to leb388, who
was crying. Her hair was in two long braids, and some sort of headband was around
her head. "Leb388, are you all right?"
"My one chance at world peace," she scoffed,
"gone. Forever."
"Cheer up, leb388. The balance is restored
to Neopia, and Sloth's gone."
Leb388 sniffled. "Still--"
Jamez walked over. "Hey, Laura, are you
okay? Do you know what happened to my NeoHome? It's okay now, but--"
"My guess," Li interrupted, "is
that Jamez's NeoHome was deleted in some error after Sloth stopped being evil,
and Neopians could be peaceful without a villain to frighten and stifle their
spirits. But once Sloth was back to his normal self, the balance was restored."
"That sounds logical, I mean, for Neopia,"
leb388 said quietly. "But Jamez could always build a new NeoHome, and I don't
think we can ever rebuild that kind of world peace again."
"Um, I hear Darigan lost a war against,
um, an army of Flouds," I lied.
Leb388 brightened. "Really?" She stood
up and reached down to pet me. "You've got to tell me all about that, Conspicit."
As I made up a story about courageous
Floud soldiers who ate carrots for invincibility, we walked back to our NeoHome,
and Jamez walked back to his. After I was done feigning knowledge of a made-up
war, I sat down on our Neocouch with Li and Keira.
"Say, Keira, when are you going back to
your owner?" I asked her casually.
"Next week, Unky Conspicit," she replied.
"For a few days. But after that, I'm comin' back for three more months! Yay!"
I groaned and changed the subject. "Say,
leb388, do you know why Sloth suddenly became all evil again? Did you say something
to him?"
"Well..." leb388 replied, "I do remember
that I said something like, 'Ugh, you remind me of Darigan,' to him, and he
just went insane."
"That would do it," Li agreed. "But it
worked out for the best."
I nodded. "Y'know, Li," I remarked, looking
outside to the darkening sky, "we really never solve cases anymore. All the
good mysteries solve themselves, like this one. When's the last time we actually
documented a case?"
"Meh, I don't care. What we're doing is
still fun," she replied. "It's fulfilling. And besides, if we weren't Neopian
Explorers and Mystery Solvers, we'd never get to see cool things like whole
NeoHomes disappear and world peace be once again denied a chance to survive
in this brutal world."
"That was unusual, wasn't it? Think
we'll do it again tomorrow?" I ventured.
"No, Conspicit. Go to sleep."
I sighed and walked to my room. Another
crazy day for a N.E.M.S. member. Another crazy day in Neopia.
The End
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