MERI ACRES - Having gone up to my limit of playing Potato Counter three times,
I began to gather my winnings. I could see Ultimate Bullseye from where I was
standing and decided I'd head there next. I began walking, then turned to say
goodbye when I realised that the Kacheek who ran the game was no longer there.
I heard a muffled voice singing, "Countin' potatoes, it's what I do best. Countin'
potatoes will put you to the test. Countin' potatoes that I raise by the ton.
Countin' potatoes is simply lots of fun..." That's all it took to catch my attention
and stuff it into a jar.
Facing the door of his humble cottage, I hesitated. I knocked softly but got
no answer. The door slowly creaked open and I peeped through the gap. Light
came in through a window but the place was mostly dim. "Hello?" No reply. I
slipped in and, figuring there might be a story somewhere in here, pulled out
my notebook from my pocket and a pencil from my boot. I began to investigate
as quietly as I could. The dirt floor made that easy. There wasn't anything
of much interest here. Pots and pans were strewn across the room, a shoebox
near the window held healthy daisies, candles, and a lone orange fuzzle in the
corner.
"The potatoes are outside, lady."
For a second, I was speechless. And if you know me, you know that only happens
when Moehogs fly.
"What are you doing here?"
"Actually, I..." What was I doing there? "Wanted to interview you."
"What in the world would you want to talk to me for?" The Kacheek asked incredulously,
waving his arm and almost knocking off his cap.
"You're one of the more undermined Neopians and anyway, I don't like doing
overdone articles." And that was true.
"Oh." He looked at me, probably questioning my sanity. "Well, I suppose I
could answer some of your questions." He sat down on a stool I hadn't noticed.
"Wonderful." Taking a seat on the only other chair in the room, I scribbled
down a hasty introduction then proceeded with the interview, making up questions
as I went along.
Nyri: No one I know has ever referred to you by an official name, only
as the Kacheek who runs Potato Counter. What's your actual name?
Kacheek Dorian: My name's Dorian.
Nyri: Have you always been the one to run Potato Counter and if so,
why did you start in the first place?
Dorian: Actually, no. This has been passed down through my family to
whatever relative would take the job. I took over when my aunt's second cousin
twice removed moved to Mystery Island. The reason we started is... hm. Well,
I guess we figured Meridell could use some more fun and what better way than
to count the ever useful potato?
Nyri: Ah... where do you get the Neopoints that you give out?
Dorian: Er...
At this point he looked a bit antsy and began to scratch behind his ear.
Nyri: Well?
Dorian: Places.
Nyri: Like?
Dorian: Pockets. Next question!
Nyri: Okay... Where do you get all the potatoes?
Dorian: I grow most of them, out back. People also donate some of their
own and when there's a dry spell, I buy a few from the shops.
Nyri: What sort of customers do you get?
Dorian: Before it used to be mostly natives, but now flocks of Neopians
and citizens of other worlds come here every day. Many of them are decent owners
and pets, but a few are very rude, always demanding that I lower the amount
of potatoes, which I can't do since it's all random, or accusing me of fixing
it.
Nyri: Can't please everyone. But it seems like the business is going
well. You mentioned that you now have hundreds of Neopians coming to Meridell,
especially to play this game since it's one of the easier ways to make NP. What
do you think of the discovery of Meridell by the outside world?
Dorian: Well, at first I wasn't very pleased. Too much too quickly,
you know? We didn't mind staying behind the scenes. But when everyone found
out about us, there was a lot of commotion about it, and being in the spotlight
is not as great as it sounds. Important people began making plans to change
and add things, when we were happy about the way we were. But I guess change
isn't all that bad. It was good for all the businesses. And we learned a lot
more about the worlds around us.
Nyri: Speaking of that, have you ever been anywhere outside of Meridell?
Dorian: When I was a baby, my parents took me to Faerieland once. It
was amazing. All sorts of things flying about, pets and faeries alike. I could
hear a lot of commotion over towards the racing area, as they were following
it on loudspeakers. I remember seeing a large crowd around the Employment Agency
waving brightly coloured envelopes. I saw quite a few pets coming out the Faerie
Food Shop with freshly baked brownies and other pets running and tripping over
each other after getting a quest. My parents brought back a few souvenirs. [He
takes out a portrait of the Fyora, bless her majesty, a faerie greeting card,
and a dog-eared copy of Faerie Tales from a cupboard]
Nyri: Sounds like you had a nice time. Speaking of your parents, where
are they?
Dorian: They retired a few years ago and decided to go live in the Lost
Desert. The warmer weather keeps them healthy.
Nyri: So you live here alone?
Dorian: Actually, no. [He got up from the stool and went out the backdoor.
He came back with a small brown petpet perched on his shoulder looking at me
nervously and another petpet squirming in his arms] This is my Whoot, Emi. And
this is my Slorg, whose name is Snip.
Nyri: Ah... pleasure to meet them both. Now, do tell. Have you ever
played Kiss
the Mortog?
Dorian: [EMI hooted and gave him a look] A gentleman doesn't kiss and
tell.
Nyri: [laughing] all right then. Have you any friends in Meridell? It
doesn't seem to be very er... busy.
Dorian: Oh, yeah. Spend my free time playing Ultimate Bullseye with
my friends. I'm also acquainted with the Ixi who runs Shape Shifters.
Nyri: Do you know of Illusen?
Dorian: Who doesn't? She's practically a legend here, greatly admired
and she deserves it.
Nyri: So what do you think of the feud between her and Jhudora? Dorian:
Well, I haven't heard too much, but I've heard enough to know which side I'm
on. And course, my loyalty is for Ilusen. She's done nothing wrong, starting
her own quests. If she draws away some people from Jhudora's, so what? She never
treated most Neopians fairly anyway. However, I don't think that Illusen should
hate Jhudora because she had bad experiences with some other Dark Faeries. She
should hate Jhudora because of the malicious, selfish person she is.
Nyri: I see your point. But I'll not put in my own 2 NPs. Since you
live in Meridell, you wouldn't be able to tell me, oh, possibly what time Guess
the Marrow begins, could you? It would really contribute to an article I might
write. Dorian: Ah let's see... nope, sorry, can't say a word. First, because
if I didn't, that'd take away half the fun. And secondly, because I've no clue.
Nyri: I figured that. But I just had to try, you know. Well, I think
we're finished. Thanks. [I stood up and we shook hands.] Dorian: Pleasure was
all mine. Can I ask you a question?
Nyri: Of course. Dorian: Do you really work for The Neopian Times?
Nyri: Part time, yes. I'm a journalist. Dorian: Just making sure you
weren't really after my potatoes.
Nyri: Heh. No, don't worry. I buy my own. Got anything else you'd like
to add?
Dorian: Long live the potato! | 
