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It was a dusky and disorderly night.
Once again, the residents of 63994, Neopia Avenue,
were settling down to their usual routines. Yoko, the white Aisha, was playing
absentmindedly with her pet Snowbunny. Jon the red Eyrie and his brother, a
mutated Kacheek named Gioacchino, were playing a very monotonous game of Kacheekers.
The mother and caretaker of the three pets,
a young girl named Erika, was busy at her desk. Glue, pencils, and a seemingly
infinite pile of paper surrounded her.
"What are you doing?" Yoko asked Erika, turning
away from her Snowbunny.
Erika didn't look up. "I'm making a day planner
for Gee-Gee," she said, grabbing an eraser.
"Don't call me Gee-Gee," growled Gioacchino.
Jon snorted. "Why does he get everything? He
gets all the new books, the new toys, the new... erm... well, DAY PLANNERS,"
he said, narrowing his eyes at his older brother.
"I could make you a day planner if you want
me to," Erika chirped. "Gee's generally more studious than you are, and so I
figured that the whole concept of planning out every waking second of your life
to the last detail, homework assignment, and the last dentist appointment wouldn't
interest you... but I guess I was wrong. Would you like it to be green or purple?"
"Never mind," mumbled Jon, resting his head
on the floor.
Erika smirked.
Yoko turned her attention from her Snowbunny
again to look at her mother. "Erika? Will you read us another story? Like you
did last week?"
Erika peered over her papers to look at Yoko.
"You really liked the Halloween Story?" she asked, in disbelief.
Gioacchino sat up and nodded enthusiastically,
as did Yoko. Jon merely yawned. "I suppose," he said, stifling a second yawn.
"As long as it's another scary story. Those are the best kind!"
Going to the bookshelf, Erika pulled out the
large green book which was the unabridged version of the Neopedia. She shut
her eyes, and flipped randomly through the pages, and jabbed her finger down
on page 206. "Oh!" she said, happily. "It's the article about Sloth!"
Yoko wilted.
"Oh, come on, Yoko! It'll be fun! And scary!
But mostly fun!"
After much persuasion and bribery, Yoko agreed
to stay for the first few pages. She disappeared off to her room for a few minutes,
only to arrive back in the living room with her pink blanket, her Snowbunny,
and her favorite plushie: a blue Lenny named George.
Erika smiled at her three pets, and began to
read the introduction. "Dr. Frank Sloth."
"His name is Frank? No wonder he turned evil,"
laughed Gioacchino.
"Look who's talking," muttered Jon, loud enough
for his brother to overhear him.
"Age," Erika continued. "Possibly
hundreds of years old. Height : 6'3". Occupation, Evil Scientist and leader
of Virtupets Corp."
"Why, he's gotten his resumes mixed up again!"
cried Jon. "That's Gioacchino's file!"
"Except for the height," giggled Yoko.
Gioacchino gave his siblings a look that can
only be summarized in one word: doom.
Erika shook her head at her three pets. Nevertheless,
she continued with her story. "Quote : Pitiful Neopets, you will all soon
be my slaves."
"I wonder how many hours he slaved away to think
that quote up?" asked Yoko, with a hint of sarcasm behind her usually sweet
and innocent demeanor.
"Success so far in enslaving Neopets : None."
"I think that pretty much answers your question,
Yoko," Gioacchino remarked.
Erika moistened her finger and turned over a
page. The fire crackled happily. The Eyrie, Kacheek, and Aisha were beginning
to feel at ease, and the real story was about to begin.
"Two thousand years ago, Neopia was not the
happy and pleasant land it is today, no.. far from it. A barren husk of a world
covered with a featureless muddy swamp, and endless barren plains, Neopia was
not a nice place at all," read Erika.
"No, folks. Back then there was no such thing
as Faerieland," Jon said in a husky voice.
"No sunlight could ever shine on its surface
due to the endless, thick poisonous smog that filled the sky."
"Wait a second!" cried Yoko. "2,000 years ago,
there was nothing on the barren surface of Neopia, right? But they just said
smog! So Neopia Central HAD to be there! Admit I'm right, admit I'm right!"
"Yoko," said Jon with a smile. "I think you're
taking the science behind this story far too seriously."
Erika ran her finger down the text of the pages,
as she continued to read. "It is said that one day a young scientist known
as Frank Sloth arrived on this desolate world, nobody really knows how he got
there (some say a spaceship!), or why he decided to call Neopia his home, but
Sloth reveled in his new surroundings."
"It was definitely considered Neopia's first
revelation," Jon added.
"He spent the years conducting vile experiments
in his underground lair, trying to create creatures -- maybe to assemble an
army, or maybe because he was lonely," read Erika.
"Or maybe a homogeneous mixture of both," Gioacchino
chuckled.
"One day, as Frank emerged from his underground
lair to collect samples, something happened, something that he did not expect,"
Erika read.
"No one expects an acquisition," Jon said.
"A beam of light broke through the thick
purple clouds above," Erika continued.
"Purple?" interrupted Yoko.
"Let's just say it gives new meaning to ultraviolet
light," laughed Gioacchino.
"...and shone down on the rock in front of
him," Erika said, finishing the sentence with a glare at the mutant Kacheek.
"Sloth edged back nervously. Where the light was shining, grass was starting
to grow at an amazing rate, soil was forming, and wild flowers started to grow
on the rocks."
"How picturesque," sighed Yoko dreamily.
"Sloth hissed, where the light had touched
his skin he felt searing pain, he had not seen the light in many hundreds of
years."
"Ach-ss!" hissed Gioacchino. "It hurts us, it
hurts us! It freezes, it bites!"
"Back in the safety of his underground lab,
Sloth used his network of cameras to find out what was happening on the surface
above," read Erika. "The light was spreading, and the planet above was
changing rapidly.
"Yes, folks, the first coffee house was built,"
chuckled Jon.
"People and pets all across Neopia will enjoy
the fine flavors of Ye Olde Coffee Shoppe, and the signature Borovan brew!"
added Gioacchino.
"Borovan tastes a bit like old asparagus," Yoko
said, reminiscing over the flavor.
"I wonder why that is," snorted Jon.
Erika coughed loudly. "It's amazing how you
three manage to warp the main subject into something so... unrelated," she said.
"What can we say?" grinned Yoko. "We're Idles
at heart."
Erika grinned back at the young Aisha, and continued
with the story. "A few of his mutant creatures that had got caught in the
light above were melting, turning back into the foul mud from which they were
created."
"Noo! My friends! My chums! My homies! Ruined!"
Jon cried out, mockingly.
"This would not do, thought Sloth... his
work, his science was being ruined."
"He should have seen this coming," said Gioacchino.
"You need to have a back-up plan in tact at all times, a plan B."
Jon looked at Gioacchino oddly. "Do you have
a back-up plan? I mean, if that whole world domination thing doesn't work out
for you?"
Gioacchino smiled smugly. "If I don't gain total
control of Neopia in a few years, I plan to settle down in the Deep Catacombs
and write manipulative articles about Faerieland's government for the Neopian
Times."
"...or you could just get a job at the Armada?"
Yoko suggested, on seeing her brother's evil face.
"'No!', Sloth slammed his fists down
on his desk, 'This cannot be!" read Erika.
"Oh, whine-whine, whimper, grimace, glower,
grouch, gripe, groan, moan, complain, protest, pout, scowl, grumble, mutter,
weep, wail, cry, crab, bawl, sigh, and snivel," chanted Yoko in a very singsong
but annoying voice.
Jon blinked. "I don't know whether to be intimidated
or impressed," he finally said.
"'I must leave this accursed planet at once'."
"Oh, give it another shot, the coffee's worth
a try," said Gioacchino brightly.
"He got up out of his chair, and began to
make the preparations to leave."
"Hmm... toothbrush, comb, shampoo. Oh, for Fyora's
sake, where did I put my Quigiki jammies?!" said Jon, mockingly.
Even Erika giggled at Jon's comment as she continued
reading, "As he walked down the corridor, a metallic computerised voice echoed
around him... Lifeform Detected... Lifeform Detected."
"Dr. Frank Sloth, did you forget to turn off
the Foreshadowing Machine again?" giggled Gioacchino.
"Sloth, puzzled, turned around and walked
back to his desk. Who could possibly be here? Neopia had been desolate and uninhabited
for as long as he could remember. A screen flashed up in front of him, showing
a location a couple of miles away."
"The screen can see for miles... and miles...
and miles... and miles..." sang Jon.
"That's quite enough," Gioacchino said, glaring
at his younger brother.
"A small dragon-like creature was sitting
in a field of grass, with bright light shining down from above. The thick cloud
had parted, and Sloth could see trees and rivers around," read Erika, turning
a page in the thick Neopedia.
"Sloth can see for miles... and miles... and
miles... and miles..."
"JON! Be quiet!" yelled Gioacchino.
"What is it? WHAT IS IT?"
"No one expects a standish acquisition," Jon
laughed.
"Jon," Gioacchino said in as much kindness as
he could muster. "Have you ever been hit over the head with a welding mallet?"
Erika shook her head at her Eyrie and Kacheek,
and continued reading, "Sloth sat staring at the screen... the small dragon
creature looked confused... it was looking intently at its new surroundings,
taking in every last detail, eyes wide with astonishment."
"I guess he's never seen a Ye Olde Coffee Shoppe
before this, eh?" Yoko said, smiling.
"Sloth continued to watch his monitor. Suddenly
there was a flash of light and another creature appeared next to the dragon,
this one was a smaller creature, a ball of fluff with large feet. It too looked
confused."
"Where am I? And why am I in this handbasket?"
mimicked Gioacchino.
"'What are these... things..? What are they
doing in Neopia?'"
"I suppose they have all come for a night's
stay at the illustrious Cockroach Inn," Yoko said.
"Sloth had a idea..."
"So that's what those grinding and clanking
sounds were," Gioacchino interrupted.
"And smiled... it looked like it may be worth
staying in Neopia after all..."
"Why? Why's he staying in Neopia?" Yoko asked
her brothers.
"Sssh, listen," Gioacchino said.
Erika closed the Neopedia. "Actually, that's
the end." Looking over the quizzical looks of her three pets, she reopened the
book to prove her statement. "See? Nothing but a picture of Dr. Sloth," she
added.
"Weird ending," Jon muttered.
"No, not weird," Erika said, defiantly. "Spooky
and haunting ending. It makes you think... what was Dr. Sloth's idea for the
Neopia? Did it involve those two creatures that appeared out of nowhere?"
"Well, of course it did," Gioacchino said. "Everybody
knows what a bad apple Sloth is."
"I don't," pouted Yoko, clutching George the
Lenny and Scherzo the Snowbunny.
Gioacchino sighed. "Haven't you been paying
attention in Neopian History?"
Yoko blinked. "Seeing as there isn't a Neoschool
to pay attention to, well... no."
Gioacchino frowned.
Erika clicked her tongue. "It's okay, Gioacchino,"
she said, happily. "Neoschools will be out before you know it... and then you
can plan out your dream for world domination and call it a science project."
Gioacchino perked up.
THE END
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