"Leb388, I'm bored," I moaned. It was a cold winter day
and I had absolutely nothing to do. So, as is a well-known tactic for pets,
I went to complain to my owner, leb388.
Leb388 had been answering Neomails, and she opened
one and began to read it silently. "Why don't you read a book, Li?" she asked,
peering at me from above the letter.
I sighed and jumped on the couch next to my owner.
I'm a slim Desert Aisha, and I squeezed past the fifty-plus letters next to
leb388. "I don't feel like reading any more books. I already read four this
week."
"Why don't you play with your toys?"
"I don't feel like it."
"Why don't you answer some Neomails, then?"
"Sure!" I gladly opened up a letter and began
to read:
dEaR lEb388,
i rEaLly LeIK uR wrItIn STylE. cAN u TeEch mE
to RiTE sO gOod? THx!
I shuddered, picked up a pen and wrote back:
Thanks, and sure, I'll help. But to start,
you should first capitalize only the first letter of a sentence or the first
letter of a proper noun. Sincerely, leb388.
I sealed it up in a new envelope, wrote the person's
username on it, and put it in the "Send" pile. Leb388 claims that a Whoot only
she and her brother, JamezBfod, can see stops by and picks up her mail and packages,
and drops off her new mail. I think that's crazy, but apparently her Neomails
and items magically get delivered. "Leb388, I answered one!"
"It took you that long?" leb388 asked, handing
three letters to thin air, and they disappeared.
"Um, the sender wrote it in chatspeak."
My owner laughed, looking over the original message.
"That's not chatspeak. This is chatspeak." She handed me a message, and
I read it:
H3110! I'm wri7in8 t0 c0ngr@7u1@73 j00 0n
j0ur @w350m3 Ar7ic13. K33p up 7h3 gr3@7 w0rk!
I couldn't even decipher it, but leb388 apparently
could and sent back a response. I picked up the next Neomail and opened it,
and fortunately I saw regular English writing:
Dear leb388,
This Neomail has been written to you to inform you that your Aisha, Li, has
been found to be the heir to the throne of the Lost Desert. This may sound as
a shock to you, since you "created" her, but all created pets aren't really
created magically, but qualities are selected by the owner, and an appropriate
match is given based on the millions of available eggs. Li's egg was given to
the Create-a-Pet for safekeeping after the Ursuper tragedy, and it is time we
informed you, since she, only now a young princess, is coming of the age (A
desert year, or about one Neopian year and four Neopian months) when she can
be receive her inheritance of the family palace and 500 shells. Please write
back and we can decide on an appropriate time to meet the princess.
Thank you,
The Royal Officials of the Lost Desert
"Leb388?" I asked nervously. "I think you should
look at this."
My owner glanced at the address and exclaimed,
"Oh! I've been expecting this from them."
"You have?" I asked, shocked.
"Of course. They owe me Neopoints."
That sounded logical, and I waited for my owner
to finish reading the Neomail. "Why, my Li, a princess!" leb388 marveled.
"So you think it's true?"
She glanced at the address again. "It looks genuine.
They're not asking for NP, so I say we go with it and see where it leads." She
started to write a reply, and I ran to tell my siblings the great news.
"...So you're a princess?" Conspicit, my younger
brother and an Island Poogle, asked, after I finished telling him the whole
story.
"We don't know that for sure, but possibly."
"If you were--"
"Li!" our owner interrupted from the living room.
"Li, a reply came back. We're to meet them at the Sahkment City palace tomorrow."
I grinned at Conspicit. "I'm of royal descent."
"Well, Li, residents of the Lost Desert are born
Desert, but you weren't. You were born yellow and were painted--"
"These Neopets know what they're doing, Conspicit.
No one understands how paintbrushes work; maybe Desert pets do have to
be painted to get their color."
"This would make a great case," Conspicit said,
changing the subject, "for N.E.M.S. We can research it and solve the case and
see if you really are the princess some know-it-alls claim you are."
I nodded. N.E.M.S., or Neopian Explorers & Mystery
Solvers, is an organization for detective work (only Conspicit will never accept
the title "Detective") that Conspicit founded. Both of us were the only members,
but we had a tagalong cousin, Keira, who was a Baby Poogle and followed us on
our missions because she usually lived at our house.
"Li, Conspicit, supper!" My owner called, interrupting
my thoughts.
We went into the kitchen and ate with my two
sisters, Lebmon (a Striped Pteri) and Pegasus (a White Tonu), as well as Keira.
Our petpets arrived and ate from their food dishes on the floor.
"Cousin Li, you're a pwincess?" Keira asked,
her eyes wide. She hugged her yellow Poogle Toy, a plushie named Susie she owns
and carries around with her all the time. "Susie wants to be a pwincess."
"We don't know if I am. I could be," I admitted.
"And so could Susie."
"I wanna be a pwincess, too. Can I be a pwincess,
leb388?"
Leb388 sighed. "We'll see, Keira. If your owner
says it's okay."
"Yay!" Keira's owner was my owner's sister, but
my owner takes care of Keira often.
The rest of the dinner continued likewise. Afterwards,
exhausted, I lay in bed for awhile, thinking about what the next day would be
like. This princess thing was sudden and too good to be true...but I didn't
consider the matter any further before I fell asleep.
The next day, I woke up and leb388 gave me a
new, ironed white dress and told me to wear some of my fanciest jewelry. I didn't
know what that would do, but I did so while Keira watched.
"Cousin Li, can I go with you?"
"No, Keira. It'll be boring."
"But not borrowing enough for you not to go,
Cousin Li!" she protested.
"Well, I have to be there. If I don't go, no
one else can go. You have to stay home."
Keira looked sad and suddenly started to wail
in that emergency-shriek only babies can pull off. You know what I mean. Eventually,
its ricocheting effects throughout the NeoHome persuaded leb388 to take Keira
along with us. We went to Sahkmet City in the Lost Desert and found the extraordinarily
prodigious palace where we were to meet the officials. I nervously walked inside
with Conspicit (who wanted to come along for "case work") and leb388, and we
waited in a waiting room for the so-called royal officers to request me.
"I wonder how much 500 shells is in NP," Conspicit
started. "That's how much they said you'll receive, Li. I didn't even know the
Lost Desert had its own currency."
"Cur-in-see, Unky Conspicit?" Keira asked.
"Currency. Um...it's pretty much a fancy name
for a type of money," Conspicit explained. "And I'm not your uncle--I'm your
cousin."
"Okay, Unky Conspicit."
I laughed. "The Lost Desert has always used shells,
and they accept NP, but try to keep up the old tradition," I explained. "I don't
know what the exact conversion is from shells to NP. I think shells are worth
a little more."
"That's good," leb388 replied. "But no matter
how much NP they give you, Li, remember your manners: say thank you. And you're
still going to have to do chores, whether you get a palace or not."
I was about to protest, but a secretary called
us in, and Conspicit, leb388, Keira and I slowly walked in to a giant auditorium-like
room. It was fancily decorated with marble pillars, silk curtains on the windows,
regal carpets on the floor and paintings on the walls. I saw a bunch of fancily-dressed
officials sitting at an exquisitely decorated rectangular table. One of them,
a Desert Kacheek, spoke up suddenly and rapidly:
"Welcome, Princess Li! Soon to be Queen Li, eh?
My name is Anoiing. But enough of me. Welcome, welcome! Welcome friends of Li,
welcome!" He got up to shake my hand.
"Uh, nice to meet you," I replied nervously.
"This is Conspicit, Keira, and leb388."
"Welcome, welcome! Welcome friends, of Li," he
repeated, not looking at them at all. "We have conducted all the research, Li,
and it's time we tell you the truth. You are a grandniece to King Coltzan III.
And we're really bored, so we're going to give you your inheritance."
I was once more reminded of the absurdity of
all this. Was it all a big trick?
"And so, this palace will become yours, as will
your inheritance of 500 shells."
"I've been wanting to ask," leb388 said suddenly,
"but how much would that be in Neopoints?"
"Oh, of course. Evelin?"
A Desert Kau stood up from the table and skimmed
through a scroll. "Let's see...ah, here we are. Five hundred shells equals 197,046,218,347.5
of your Neopoints. That's roughly 200 billion Neopoints, Miss leb388." Evelin
sat down at the table.
Thunk.
"Miss leb388? Did you get that?"
"She fainted," Conspicit pointed out. Sure enough,
leb388 had collapsed on the floor.
"TWO BILLION NEOPOINTS?" I screamed, my voice
echoing off the marble walls and floor. I had to try hard to keep myself from
fainting.
"Don't yell!" Keira wailed pitifully, clutching
her yellow Poogle toy.
"I'm sorry, Keira," I apologized. "It's just
that--two billion?"
"Yes, apparently two billion, Li," Anoiing said.
"Is that not enough?"
"No, it's just that we've never heard of anyone
having that much," Conspicit explained.
Anoiing replied, "Well, all right. Li, you may
take your friends out to look around in the palace. We have to do some paperwork."
The other officials nodded.
We waited for leb388 to regain consciousness,
and after a minute or so, she woke up and started to chat with the royal officials.
Conspicit, Keira and I meandered off and toured the palace.
"Look at this, Li!" Conspicit had found an awesome
vase. "It looks like a painting of you on it."
Sure enough, the Desert Aisha whose portrait
was on it did bear a resemblance to me. "Maybe it's some old relative of mine
or something."
"Unky Conspicit? Cousin Li? What's this do?"
came Keira's shout.
Crash!
"KEIRA!" Conspicit and I exclaimed, running towards
her. She had knocked a vase off a table and broken it. Correction: She had cracked
the glass case that surrounded it and completely shattered a vase into a heap
of priceless gems and precious metals.
"It just looked so pwitty and it had sparkly
jewels and stuff," Keira replied. "I'm sorry."
"Li! We've decided to go ahead and give
you the inheritance with no further questions and--AHH! WHAT IN THE NAME OF
COLTZAN DID YOU DO?"
It was Anoiing, followed by my owner, walking
into the long hall we were in.
"Lebki_Ichijouji! You know Keira might've broken
something by accident! Why weren't you watching her? She might've been hurt!
Keira, are you okay?"
"I'm okay, leb388. It isn't Li's fault, I bwoke
it."
"That vase was a priceless heirloom!" Anoiing
angrily declared. "And--say, what did you call Li?"
"'Lebki_Ichijouji,'" my owner replied. "That's
her full name."
"Oh...." Anoiing thought for a moment. "Evelin!"
"Here!" she called, running toward us with an
armful of scrolls.
"Evelin, what was the full name of the heir we
found--the name given by the owner? The egg was genetically matched to the royal
family of Sahkmet City."
Evelin sifted through the scrolls, found the
appropriate one, and dropped the rest to read it. "Lithium, sir. That was the
Aisha's name--Lithium53820098."
"Well, there appears to be some misunderstanding,"
Anoiing said to me. "You aren't the heir after all. Our mistake--and I apologize,
Li. Your owner needn't pay for the vase; we owe her Neopoints, and we'll use
the amount we were going to pay her back to pay for most of the damage."
We found ourselves abruptly shown to the exit
and started walking home.
"Lithium?" my owner repeated. "Li, if
you'd been on the Periodic Table, we'd be Neobillionaires!"
I didn't reply--I was too surprised and crushed
at the same time.
"Aw, it was just a mistake, and it wasn't Li's
fault," Conspicit said. Trying to change the subject, he added: "And what's
the Periodic Table?"
"Eh, just something in my world. Nothing big
to you Neopians," leb388 said with a sigh.
"Neop-ee-yins?" Keira asked. "'Cause we live
in Neopia?"
"Yes, you're Neopians. I guess I'm one, too,
though not natively." Leb388 looked at me and read my expression. "But you are,
Li, and I'm glad you're not a Sahkmetian princess. Believe me, being famous
isn't as glamorous as it seems, and I'm not even that big of a writer for the
Neopian Times, yet I know what constant attention feels like. I love you for
you, Li. No amount of status or NP could change that." She paused for a moment,
then cheerfully added: "How about we all go and get slushies?"
"Yay!" we chorused.
"Case solved," Conspicit whispered to me. "You're
not the lost princess. We hardly needed to do any work to solve that."
"Yeah, Keira did it for us," I agreed, looking
at Keira. "You'd sure make a good N.E.M.S. member, Keira."
"Can I be?" Keira asked, hugging her plushie.
"Sure. When we get home, we'll give you your
very own notebook and pen for recording information, and not even breaking a
vase will stop your initiation."
Keira's eyes widened, and she seemed happier
than ever. Even if I wasn't a real princess, at least we made Keira feel like
one then.
Though it was hard to accept it, leb388 was right.
She--and my friends--liked me for me. And that's all I'll ever need.
The End
| 
