Mark the green Chia and Milford the purple Chia, two of Al's Chia friends,
sat in Al's house, drinking tea and chatting happily. "It's a wonderful morning,
don't you agree Mark?"
"Oh, indeed it is, Milford. Isn't it so nice of Alexander to invite us over
for lunch?"
"Oh, yes, it's quite good of him to make time to accept us into his home."
Al emerged from the kitchen, carrying a tray full of crumpets. He had changed
into a clean lab coat and polished his glasses for the occasion. "Hey guys!"
He smiled. "Here's the grub!"
The Chias frowned, glaring at Al like he was a worm in their spaghetti.
Al gasped. "Oh, I mean… Good morning, my dearest friends! Here is our luncheon!
I DO hope you enjoy it."
The Chias smiled again, complimenting Al like he was a master chef.
"Oh, it looks simply scrumptious!"
"Simply divine, Alexander."
"Why thank you, I made them myself!"
Fluffy was curled up on the carpet, giggling to himself. He knew that Al hated
to be called Alexander, and was enjoying the moment immensely. Al cringed, pouring
himself a cup of tea. "So, Milford, how is your family?" he asked.
"Oh, they're all the same. Happy as ever. And the children have been behaving
like PERFECT little angels." He beamed happily at being able to say this.
"How about you, Mark?" Al repeated.
"Oh, yes, simply grand. All of us will be visiting Grandpa and Grandma down
in New Chiaton as we usually do every last Sunday of the month of sleeping.
How about you Al?"
"Well, I was just out in Lupe Forest," Al began, beginning to get excited.
"I tracked down a Faerie Lupe! They're very rare, you know. So anyway, I was
able to get a good five minutes of footage of her flying in the air before she
caught me and chased me into Hollypaw's territory! And Hollypaw, she's a Christmas
Lupe, and she can be REALLY ferocious, and so she began throwing lawn gnomes
at me! But Fluffy here managed to trip her, but the Faerie Lupess was flying
and he couldn't stop her, and so I had to burrow underground and hide in a hole
for six hours until she left! It was SOOOO great! Oh, and I also…" Al stopped
himself. Mark and Milford were gaping at him wide eyed. Milford dropped his
teacup with a crash, and Mark looked like he was about to pass out. Al calmed
down and smiled. "It's been just wonderful with me. I've just been studying,
as usual."
"Right…" Milford smiled weakly, looking at Mark.
"Of course." Mark nodded, looking back at Milford.
Before Al could respond, there was a loud crash from his basement. Fluffy
screeched and jumped off the carpet. Milford and Mark screeched, and Al fell
over, splattering tea all over the place. "Oh dear!"
"Oh my!"
"Oh Piffle! Looks like that sample just blew up… I shouldn't have exposed
it to so much radiation…"
Mark and Milford gasped. "SUCH LANGUAGE!"
Al slapped a paw over his mouth. "Oh Piffle… I MEAN, oh sorry…"
Milford huffed and Mark puffed. "That is quite enough, Alexander! Milford
and me have decided that you are too… too... UNUSUAL!"
"That's right! You always wander off into distant lands, and study those
horrible, slobbering beasts…" Al finally lost his temper. The usually hospitable
Chia turned VERY inhospitable.
"They are NOT SLOBBERING BEASTS! They are Lupes! They ARE Neopets! And
you, YOU are nothing but two little airheads, who run around and eat everyone
else's food, complaining about how Lupes are always eating your family, and
drinking tea till it comes out of your ears! I say PIFFLE to BOTH OF YOU!"
Mark and Milford covered their ears. "I DIDN'T HEAR THAT! I DIDN'T HEAR THAT!"
"PIFFLE!" Al yelled. "YOU HEARD IT ALL RIGHT! PIFFLE PIFFLE PIFFLE PIFFLE!"
"Well, I can clearly see we are not wanted here!" Mark said, dusting himself
off and grabbing his hat.
"Indeed," Milford said, snatching his coat. "We will be off then Al! Good
Day!" They stormed out the door, their noses up in the air.
"GOOD RIDDANCE!" Al yelled, waving his paws in the air before slamming the
door behind them…
Mark's House, later that night...
Mark lived in a quaint little green cottage, with a lovely flower garden in
the front lawn. Every Sunday evening, one of the many Chias who lived on Main
Street would host a Chia Community Meeting. Al never attended these meetings,
and the Chias would often gossip about him secretly. But today, Al was the main
topic. And right then, Mark was the one bringing up the subject.
"And then, he had the nerve to curse in front of us, like some dirty Lupe!"
The Chias gasped. "What did he say?"
"I… I really don't think I can stand to repeat it…" Mark breathed heavily,
looking at Milford, who nodded and waved his paw. He gulped before blurting
it out," he said… Piffle!"
The entire crowd gasped, chattering excitedly. Mark sat back down next to
Milford, wiping his eyes with a hanky as Milford solemnly patted his back. The
community leader, an avocado Chia named Herbert, stood up, scowling like he
was the most important Chia on earth. He was clad in a classy suit with a tie
as he usually wore, and he cleared his throat, as usual, as he began his speech.
"Ahem… Well, we can clearly see that Alexander would rather be… erm… in a more…
uh… Liberal… yeah, a more liberal community. We, the Chias of Furgleton, believe
in a more… ah… closed surrounding, correct?" The Chias cheered. Herbert cleared
his voice again as he continued. "Cough… so… We must either run him out of town…
or we could… uh… try and make him like us!"
"But how would we do that?" Milford asked. "He's been prancing with those
dirty Lupes since me and Mark have known him in High School."
Herbert frowned even more, making him look slightly thoughtful. "Well… uh…
we could… erm… I KNOW!" Herbert snapped his paw. "We have to perform a complete
and total shutout! Reject him completely! Then, he'll have no choice but to
beg and beg and beg for us to go and be his friends again! Right?"
"I don't know if that will work…" Milford whispered to Manfred, another Chia
"All right! Effective tomorrow, we shut out Alexander!"
The Next Morning...
Mark, Milford, Manfred, Mildred, Montague, and Bob stood in front of Al's
house. "All right, when Al comes out, everyone act like you're actually doing
something important. Then, when he has come out, like he does every Friday evening,
you'll all begin the shunning. All right everyone, are you ready?" The Chias
nodded their heads. "Good. Now be ready, here he comes!"
Al threw open the door, notepad in hand, preoccupied with a report on the
extreme aggressiveness Christmas Lupes have around the Holidays.
Milford began laughing haughtily. "Look friends, it's our former friend, Alexander
the 'LOSER-ologist! Ha ha ha!" Al didn't even raise his head. Milford sighed.
"It sounded good when I said it in front of a mirror…"
Mark stepped up to bat. "Hey, Al, you're SOOOO fat, that, uh… you… uh…" Manfred
pushed him aside. "When you walk down the street in a yellow shirt, people say
'Taxi!' and chase after you!"
"But Al always wears white…"
"Oh, be quiet!"
Bob stepped forward. "Oh yeah, well, your stupider than a big, ugly, stupid
Lupe-head!"
Al turned around. The Chias all smiled, expecting a reaction. Instead, he
walked back into his house and returned outside with a ripped green Chia plushie.
"Note: If this were a real green Chia, possibly by the name of Mark, it would
have been victim of a Lupe attack. Notice the tear marks around the neck and
face, the gouged-out eyes, and the missing limbs. If the Lupe had been cannibalistic,
the Chia would then have been devoured headfirst." Al turned the plushie. "If
the Lupe were from Mystery Island, a ritual would occur, where the Lupe guts
the Chia with a special knife." Al held up a spoon. "Like so." He jammed it
into the gut of the fabric and spooned out a hunk of cotton. "But, unfortunately,
this is only an estimation of what it would look like. In order to REALLY see,
I'd need to ACTUALLY use a green Chia by the name of Mark." With that, Al calmly
walked back into his house, slamming the door.
Mark began to tremble. "Excuse me…" He murmured, covering his mouth, turning
even greener, and running for his house…
After a week of 'shunning'...
Herbert stood up at the next meaning, frowning imperiously. "Well, I guess
from what you're all saying, most of you didn't even know who Al, as a Chia,
was, or couldn't find him when you thought up of great insults. That's because
he's always studying those horrible, slobbering beasts we call Lupes in that
stupid forest down the road."
Mark scratched his bushy green head. "I think I could report him for plushie
abuse--he just ripped up a plushie and he said…" Milford whacked Mark over the
head with his teaspoon.
"OW!" Mark yelped, grabbing his head. "That's ENOUGH, Mark. You're not thinking
straight anymore. Don't let a ripped-up toy intimidate you!" Milford yelled.
Suddenly, the door burst open. A crackle of lightening and a blast of thunder
put out the lights, sending the Chias scattering underneath their seats in a
panic. The shady figure at the door cackled imperiously.
"Obviously, I live on a street of cowards and buffoons. They take one look
at a REAL Chia and go running to hide!" The Chias all gasped.
Mark stood up, pointing a paw and covering his mouth. "It's… PHIL!" Another
burst of lightening illuminated a short tomato Chia with glasses and a lab coat
similar to Al's attire, except coloured a deep dark crimson.
"Well, well, well." Herbert pulled himself from under the chair, putting his
glasses back on. "It's Mr. Too-Rich-To-Associate-Myself-With-Anyone. How are
you doing?"
Phil shook off his umbrella, wiped his feet, and took off his hat before entering
the room. "Fine. I heard that you people had some kind of grudge against Al,
so I figured I'd come over and help."
"But…" Mark piped up. "You're Al's brother! Why do you hate him so much?"
Phil's beady tomato eyes squinted with rage. "Why? Why, you ask? Let me tell
you a little story. It's about a family. A happy little family, or so it seemed.
There were mother and father. Mother was an accomplished writer, and father,
a... LUPOLOGIST!"
Another crackle of lightening and crash of thunder killed the silence that
ensued.
"And so, they had a little baby boy. A blue Chia who we call Alexander today.
A couple years later, a little tomato Chia came into the family. But was I loved
as much as the brother before me? Nope. Alexander was the genius of the family.
Mother loved him best. He got to spend all the time with father on those lousy
Lupe outings, too. He got all the good toys! He ate all the good food! And while
he became enormously fat, I stayed in the background, never to be noticed or
loved by anyone…" Phil stared at the ground. "And now, I must get my revenge
on my evil brother! I, too, am a genius! It runs in the family! And I will
do anything in my power to make sure that HE SUFFERS!"
Another crackle of lightening lit up the room, but this time, it stayed lit
up.
"Oh, the power's back!" Milford observed.
"Listen up," Phil said, grinning. "I'm incredibly rich. I have enough money
to afford the greatest revenge items in the world. And I, being a genius, also
have a plan..."
To be continued... | 
