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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 22nd day of Eating, Yr 26
The Neopian Times Week 30 > Short Stories > The Total Tonu Truth

The Total Tonu Truth

by scochemon

This story is purely fictional. Any similarities between these characters and any real Neopians are wholly coincidental.

"Please remind me," I called to NobleSky, "why we have to lead this baby around on MY vacation." It had been a long day, and I was planning a massage. I had earned this vacation, and I was going to enjoy it!

"SacreBleu! How many times do I have to come in here and wake you up for school!"

"I'm awake, Sadie," I called, "just not up."

"Yeah, well, you better get a move on, because the bus will be here in about 10 minutes."

"For real?" I screamed. "Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

Being a blue Blumaroo (haha, very funny), I know that I don't have much to do in the morning to get ready, like a Lupe or a Usul, but sometimes I wish my owner would find a Shoyru Morphing Potion in the Marketplace.

I hurried up to get dressed and hopped to the bus stop, just in time to see it leave. Great, I thought to myself, now I have to walk.

I bounded distractedly down the street, thinking of today's Algebra test I had forgotten to study for. I passed NobleSky (the Starry Skeith)'s house just as he waddled out the door and decided to get on the bus with him. NobleSky was a great guy, but Skeiths just aren't dating material. Derik (the Shadow Lenny) was already on the bus, because he lived up the street a few houses.

"Hey, Derik! How's it going?" I asked. We hadn't talked since Monday, being busy with school and all, and since today was Wednesday I thought I could be polite.

"OK," he replied. "I'm just waiting for Spring Break. You guys did remember to ask your folks if you can come, right?"

"Errr..." NobleSky and I replied.

"WHAT!!" shouted Derik. "I can't believe this! I've been planning this vacation since Christmas, and you guys don't even know if you can go!"

"Sorry," NobleSky replied, "I've just been kinda busy with school lately. You know high school is tough."

"Uhh, yeah. Me, too," I agreed. "The sorry part. You also know I have a horrible memory. Maybe if I write it on my hand..."

"That's OK, guys. Just as long as you ask TONIGHT."

After school that same day, I was sitting around watching television when I saw a commercial for the Tyrannian Wheel of Mediocrity and a memory flashed across my mind. "Sadie! Can I ask you a big, important question?"

"You just did," she replied, "but yes, you can ask another."

"Umm... err..."

"Spit it out!"

"Well, this is important!" I exclaimed. "Sorry, but if you get it over with then you can get my answer."

"OK. Here goes. Derik wants NobleSky and me to go with him to Tyrannia over Spring Break." I said very quickly.

"Umm... OK. Stop, rewind, and slow down," Sadie replied, a bit shocked.

"Oh! Well, can I go with Derik and NobleSky to Tyrannia over Spring Break?" I said, so slowly that it took almost a whole minute.

"OK, I actually got all of that one, but I think your speed needs to be adjusted," Sadie laughed, "Just give me a day or so to think it over."

"All right," I replied glumly.

Just then, the phone rang and I nearly rocketed through the roof. I finally got over the shock and was afraid that the person on the other line had hung up when I at last answered.


"Hi, is SacreBleu there?"

"This is she," I said plainly.

"Oh! Hi! It's Derik!" he replied.

"Oh! Hey! How's it going?" I asked, dreading the question I knew I was about to be asked.

"Umm, OK, I guess. So, umm, can you come with me to Tyrannia? NobleSky's owner said yes."


"Well what?" he said sounding a bit annoyed. "You did remember to ask, didn't you?"

"Of course I did! Why shouldn't I? I just, err, have to wait a few days for the answer..."

"Argh! You know if you had asked sooner, you would know by now."

"I know, and I feel really bad. Really, I do!"

"All right, I believe you. But try to get the answer by tomorrow, so if you can't go, I can find someone else to use your ticket. Either that or I can put it up for auction."

"OK, make me feel exceedingly loved," I replied sarcastically.

"Well, as much as I'm enjoying our little chat, I have to shower and get ready for bed. I'll see you tomorrow."

"OK, bye!"


When I got off the phone with Derik, I decided to go back to the living room to watch some television but was stopped by Pollo, my Warf, sitting in my favourite chair. Oh well, I thought, I need to get ready for bed anyway.

Five days later, I was flying Pteri Air with Derik and NobleSky on my way to Tyrannia. I was just sitting back, relaxing, and enjoying my complimentary peanuts. In a few hours, we landed and came out into the bright Tyrannian sunshine, and the most putrid thing I have ever smelled.

"Oops! I guess I forgot to tell you that the Tyrannian people build their houses out of dung, huh?" laughed Derik through a nose plug. "Oh well. You guys are tough, right?" Derik chortled again.

NobleSky looked like he was going to be sick, and I was holding my nose. How gross! I thought. Derik could have at least had some common decency!

As we walked into to the airport, we broke into the discussion of where we would be spending the week.

"If we are staying in a place made of dung," I said, "I'm hopping the next plane out of here."

"And I'll be right behind you!" agreed NobleSky.

"Don't worry," chuckled Derik. "I was a bit considerate there."

As it turned out, we were staying at the Tyrannian branch of the Neolodge, the Ugga-Ugg Arms.

We walked up to the desk and tried to make polite conversation with the concierge while we checked into our rooms. Unfortunately, the Tyrannian Mynci only spoke Neopian sparsely, and his diction was terrible. It was a good thing that the Pteri bellhop came quickly to take our luggage, because the Mynci was getting angry because we kept asking what he was saying.

Luckily, the Red Pteri, which we later knew to be called Peter, spoke fluent Neopian. We got our rooms, one for the guys, one for me, and I was freshening after the long day when I heard a knock at my door. It was NobleSky, asking if I was ready. I told him I was, so we went to the lobby to wait for Derik. As we were waiting, Peter came over to talk.

"Hi! I'm Peter, your bellhop," he said.

"Oh yeah! I remember you," I replied. "My name is SacreBleu, and this is NobleSky. We're waiting for our friend, Derik."

"Is he the Lenny?" asked Peter.

"Yeah," I said. "Hey, would you like to join us for dinner? The three of us are on vacation and don't know much about Tyrannia. Maybe you could show us around?"

"I'd love to!" Peter responded. "That is, if it's all right with your friends."

Just then, Derik came out of the elevator and gave us all a cordial wave. "You're the bellboy, right?"

"Call me Peter," the Pteri replied. The two shook wings and we discussed Peter's joining us for dinner and festivities. NobleSky, all the while, had been chatting up a lovely young Tyrannian coloured Skeith. He agreed, though I'm not even sure he knew to what he agreed to. So the four of us, Derik, NobleSky, Peter and I, made our way out of the hotel.

"I know a great, local restaurant that's just down the street," Peter commented. I secretly hoped that they served real food, like Bronto Bites and Nerkin Legs, and not dung. We watched a Donksaur scramble across the street into an alley as we approached the restaurant, The Gargaraptor Grill.

"Here it is!" Peter exclaimed. "The best eatery in Tyrannia!"

We all went inside and were shown to a table. I was looking down at my menu, thanking my lucky stars that cooked compost or fried fertiliser were nowhere to be found.

The waiter, a Tyrannian Nimmo, came about a few minutes later to take our orders.

"I'll have the... Boiled Trilo Bites and a Tri-Nana Smoothie," Derik said.

"How good is the Dino Snapper tonight?" asked NobleSky.

"Ugga-ugg a unga ugra," answered the waiter.

"Well," translated Peter, "that depends. Boiled or fried?"

"Umm... fried," replied NobleSky.

"Ugga a ugna," said the waiter.

"Very good," interpreted Peter.

"Then I'll have that, with Fungus Juice" responded NobleSky.

"I think I'll have the... Nautilus Soup and a Cactus Blossom Concoction," I ordered.

"And I, Warp" said Peter, addressing the waiter, "shall have the Ranasaurus Steak and a Cactus Leaf Brew."

After we ate, we went to the Tyrannian village and partied with the locals. I think it was some kind of holiday, but I'm not sure. We got back to the hotel at about 5:00 AM, and slept until noon the next day. When all of us finally got up, we decided to go for a refreshing hike through the Tyrannian Jungle. We hired an official guide, a Tyrannian Elephante, and started on a nice leisurely walk. If you are ever in Tyrannia, Elephantes make good guides, because they scare away anything in their path. On this particular journey, however, it was not good to have a big, scary guide through the jungle. If our guide had been a Tyrannian Quiggle, then we might have seen what laid the egg.

We came to a clearing and were stopping for a late lunch. I went to sit down on a rock, but could find none except for a large round one, warm to the touch. The strange thing was was that it was surrounded by brush and leaves and covered in big, green spots.

"Hey, guys! Come over here and take a look at this!" I yelled excitedly. "I found an egg!"

"Yeah," sighed Peter. "Sorry to burst your bubble, SacreBleu, but it probably just contains omelette."

"I don't think so," grunted the guide, via Peter. "It sounds like there is movement inside."

"Really?" asked everyone at once.

"Really. We must take care of this NeoEgg and do not be hasty."

For the next two days, we took turns watching the NeoEgg. We kept it wrapped up in blankets so the little thing inside would survive. On Thursday afternoon, I was sitting next to the NeoEgg on my bed, reading some books. I had already read Feeding Lupes, Inside the Mind of a Lupe, Knowing Moehogs, Feed Koi, Koi Owners Manual, Jubjub Manual, and was starting How to Keep Korbats Happy. I thought I knew everything and was ready to take care of whatever was inside the NeoEgg. How wrong I was.

How to Keep Korbats Happy was getting boring, so I decided to start reading another book I picked up, Blumaroo Dance Moves, when it happened. At first, it was a small tip-tap, tip-tap. Then the noise grew louder TIP-TAP, TIP-TAP. I picked up the phone and called over NobleSky, who in turn called Derik, who called Peter. Just as the last one walked through the door, a piece of the shell broke off, almost as if it was waiting for all of its caretakers to appear before it did.

It was an odd little creature. At first, it looked like a blue, spotted rhinoceros, but when it was cleaned and dried, a poofy, blue mane popped out, like a lion. He, which we found out during his bath, had sparkling, green eyes and a tuft of blue fur on the tip of his tail.

"Isn't he so cute?" I squeaked.

"I think he looks pretty cool," said Derik.

"I agree with both of you," replied NobleSky.

"What do you think, Peter?" I asked. "Hang on, where is Peter?"

Peter, it seems, had gone to get the news reporters. A respectable-looking Chomby wearing a suit and hold a microphone came in followed by Peter and a camera-Techo just as we finished tidying up the baby.

"This is Clark Kent, reporting live from the Ugga-Ugg Arms where the newest and forty-fourth NeoPet has been hatched. We are going to talk to the group of vacationers that discovered the NeoEgg while out hiking in the Tyrannian Jungle. Please, miss, could you give us a few details?"

Mr. Kent shoved his microphone in my face, catching me totally off guard. "Well," I said, and had to think for a minute, "NobleSky, the Starry Skeith, Derik, the Shadow Lenny, Peter, the Red Pteri, and me, SacreBleu, the blue Blumaroo were out in the jungle on a guided tour when we stopped in a clearing, getting ready to eat lunch, when I almost sat on it." The camera panned around to each pet as his name was mentioned, but otherwise stayed on me, with the little one in the background.

"Would you mind explaining, please?"

"Well, there weren't any rocks on the clearing, and I didn't want to sit on the ground, so I thought it was a rock until I got a closer look."

"I see. Well, here you have it, folks. This is Clark Kent, live at the Ugga-Ugg Arms with the forty-fourth NeoPet. Tune in at five to learn more," Clark said to the camera.

"Three... two... one... and we're off the air!" shouted the Techo.

"That's some NeoPet you've got there, umm... what was your name again?"

"SacreBleu," I replied.

"Err... yeah. SacreBleu. Whatever," he shrugged.

"Please remind me," I called to NobleSky, later that day, "why we have to lead this baby around on MY vacation." It had been a long day, appearing on television at least five times, and I was planning a massage. I had earned this vacation, and I was going to enjoy it!

"Well," he said slowly, "not all TV news reporters or scientists want to interview us at a hotel, and besides, he needs the exercise."

The Tonu, the forty-fourth NeoPet, has taken its place in Neopian society and is now a successful breed. Just think, that if I hadn't seen a commercial for the Wheel of Mediocrity, the Tonu would be a wild, jungle animal.

The End

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