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The crowd waits patiently for the next spotlight audition. The judges recived a stained note, asking for the audition to be held outside. It also said something about a bad smell, but they assume it is nothing important.
A faint chink is heard in the distance, followed by the patter of tiny feet. Or maybe it is only the raindrops, gently plonking on the hard ground. The patters get louder and louder, and the crowd gets more nervous. Suddenly, a jinjah races over the horizon. Fatser than a wand of supernova, it lifts the storm-drain and places it out the way.
They should have read the note more carefully. The stench is AWFUL. Rotting neggs and half finished neocolas, countless piles of dung and other filth not to be named. The audience hold their noses and their faces turn purple until they finally gasp for breath. Suddenly, the stink gets worse. A huge, light brown slime bubbles from the drains for form a sticky puddle. The jinjah reaces into it and pulls out some Ea de Neo. They crowd is lightly refreshed, but they are still worried about the puddle.
The puddle is forming into a small mound that keeps on growing. It carries on growing until it is at least 7 feet high. Then it bubbles and thickens and begins to shape itself. Arms and legs appear and a few disgusting hairs emerge from its Head. Finally, the head unfolds - revealing two red eyes and a gruesome mouthpart. The audience is horrified.
"Sorry bout that," it suddenly chortles. "Im noa used to audiences. " It suddenly appears very proud. "Anyhow, the name is aragornrules147852. I live with one other lad and two wee lasses. You would think a bunch of wee neopets like them would hate a stinky lad like myself. But you lot would be wrong, ye poor wee mites! They get used to me after a while. "
While he was giving his speech, two members of the audience had to run inside to the WC. aragornrules147852 pretends not to notice.
"Well, I be a mutant chia. And before yeh all ask why I dont look normal, chia used to look like this. Now they all be wee mites who eat petpets! Back in my day, mutant chias used to go fishin and canoeing. Then we would wash our filtheh kilts and toast and few marshamllows over a campfire. Those were the good days. . . . "
His jinjah suddenly starts whimpering. He glances at her sternly.
"Oh, pull yerself together, wee lassie. Now look, yeve gone and interupted the story again!" What he did not realise was that she was trying to tell him that their perfume was running out. At a speed.
"Well, I doont like those wee rascals: lupes. Those foxy fellas go round causing havoc to all us good wee chias. Me poor Adee gets so scared. Oh, yeh. AdeeJackson is me wee sister. A fine wee lass she is. Shows a lot of respect for her elders. . . "
Just then, the perfume runs out. The stink of the mutant chia floods every nostril form miles around. Many members of the audience ran for the WC, others for a bush. Braver ones stood, pinching their noses and some did nothing, trying to be polite.
"Oh no! Not again! Chippeh, ye wee rascal! Why did you noa tell me we were runnin low?"
The jinjah shuffeld her feet nervously, but the chia was not listening.
"Im terribleh sorry! I knew I shouldave bought two bottles of scent! Those wee bottles are so puny!"
And after his apology, he slowly melts and seeps into the sewers. Chippie close the Storm-drain and races away to the next,
a few short miles away.
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