Main Page Go to Short Stories Go back to Articles Go to Comics Go to Continued Series Go to Editorial Go to New Series

Show All | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6 | Week 7 | Week 8 | Week 9 | Week 10 | Week 11 | Week 12 | Week 13 | Week 14 | Week 15 | Week 16 | Week 17 | Week 18 | Week 19 | Week 20 | Week 21 | Week 22 | Week 23 | Week 24 | Week 25 | Week 26 | Week 27 | Week 28 | Week 29 | Week 30 | Week 31 | Week 32 | Week 33 | Week 34 | Week 35 | Week 36 | Week 37 | Week 38 | Week 39 | Week 40 | Week 41 | Week 42 | Week 43 | Week 44 | Week 45 | Week 46 | Week 47 | Week 48 | Week 49 | Week 50 | Week 51 | Week 52 | Week 53 | Week 54 | Week 55 | Week 56 | Week 57 | Week 58 | Week 59 | Week 60 | Week 61 | Week 62 | Week 63 | Week 64 | Week 65 | Week 66 | Week 67 | Week 68 | Week 69 | Week 70 | Week 71 | Week 72 | Week 73 | Week 74 | Week 75 | Week 76 | Week 77 | Week 78 | Week 79 | Week 80 | Week 81 | Week 82 | Week 83 | Week 84 | Week 85 | Week 86 | Week 87 | Week 88 | Week 89 | Week 90 | Week 91 | Week 92 | Week 93 | Week 94 | Week 95 | Week 96 | Week 97 | Week 98 | Week 99 | Week 100 | Week 101 | Week 102 | Week 103 | Week 104 | Week 105 | Week 106 | Week 107 | Week 108 | Week 109 | Week 110 | Week 111 | Week 112 | Week 113 | Week 114 | Week 115 | Week 116 | Week 117 | Week 118 | Week 119 | Week 120 | Week 121 | Week 122 | Week 123 | Week 124 | Week 125 | Week 126 | Week 127 | Week 128 | Week 129 | Week 130 | Week 131 | Week 132 | Week 133 | Week 134 | Week 135 | Week 136 | Week 137 | Week 138 | Week 139 | Week 140 | Week 141 | Week 142 | Week 143 | Week 144 | Week 145 | Week 146 | Week 147 | Week 148 | Week 149

Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 2nd day of Hunting, Yr 27
The Neopian Times Week 21 > Articles > Again, The Neopian Conspiracy Theories

Again, The Neopian Conspiracy Theories

by onugu

Well, I seem to have made it back in one piece, and of course I have picked up more knowledge on my travels!

We've looked into the ways that the Neopian Shadow Government makes Neopoints, but there are also strange things happening with items.

The Pant Devil
I'm sure everyone has met this annoying blue ghost. He seems to pop up at the worst moments, normally just after you buy something expensive. He will quickly snatch the item from you and flee before you've even managed to finish counting your change.

Now, if everyone has experienced this, and with some 22 million people playing NeoPets, that's one busy Pant Devil, and a lot of items!

But what does he do with the items? Surely he has no use for them (other then maybe a few choice Battledome weapons). He gives the rest to the Shadow Government!

The Snowager (so many people pointed out stuff that I can't list them all, but thank you!)
The Snowager is the only one of its kind, unique in all Neopia. So how did it come into being? What became of its parents? How long has it lived, and how long will it live? And exactly what does it eat? Rumours are that it will happily munch on your pet, but I have found no evidence of this ever happening.

It's a gigantic worm made of Ice, now let's just think about this… A worm made of ice, surely its blood freezes in its veins? Ice is brittle, so how does the Snowager move without shattering himself? Ice can also be "sticky" (if you've ever stuck your tongue to a lollipop, you know what I mean), so surely the monster would be stuck to the inside of the cave, and the treasure hoard. Also the temperature would have to be kept at a perfectly steady level, any increase in temperature, and the beast would melt, and if the temperature dropped any lower more layers of frost would build up across its body and its cave making it impossible for it to ever move! But even in some of the coldest (or hottest) places in Neopia, the temperature is never constant, it always fluctuates by at least a couple of degrees!

And why has no one ever thought of going in there with a Fire Weapon like the Million-Degree Sword - they would be able to melt the worm, and take all the treasure.

It's because the Snowager is not just ice alone, it is carefully protected by the magic and technology of the Shadow Government, maybe it was even created by them to guard items on their behalf.

So why do they allow us to sneak in and steal items while it sleeps? It's so that we never attempt to storm into the caves in our hundreds all armed with Million-Degree Swords. Think about it, it would require quite some effort on our part to amass an army and equipment capable of taking out the Snowager, but its so very easy to just sneak past him when he sleeps and grab an item, then leg it out of the caves. So by carefully allowing a tiny percentage of their items to be looted, they protect themselves from a full-on raid.

And as pointed out by Rwj, if the Snowager wakes up and blasts your pets, you have to go get them healed - maybe the SG are producing the healing potions!

Discarding Items
I've often wondered what happens when you discard an item. Surely that implies dropping it on the floor, but then try as you might, you can search and search, but the item is nowhere to be seen!

There are some strange individuals in Neopia, which have had no mention made of themselves anywhere (for example, the Bug Brothers). I believe that once you discard an item, some strange creature, or person unheard-of comes along and whisks away the items before you have a chance to see where it landed! Of course, these items go to the Shadow Government!

So I ask you, don't just discard your items, which will guarantee your items get into the hands of the SG. Instead donate them to the Money Tree, which is also a front for the SG, there is the tiniest chance that another Neopian may gain the item instead of the SG.

The Item Quests (again, lots of people pointed this out, thank you all!)
The Underwater Kitchen, The Snow Faerie, The Witch's Tower, the list goes on…

There are many quests that could be completed in Neopia. They're a simple idea - go get some items, give them to whomever, and get a reward.

But most of the time, the items you get as a reward are worth far less then the items you had to collect. Also most of the quests ask you to obtain items for a spell or recipe, but I've never seen a Wand of Chia-frazzling or plate of Creamy Tomatoes with Yeast Mash. And surely the Esophagor can't be that hungry! So why are we collecting items to make other items that are never seen anywhere in Neopia? Either these strange recipes are simply made up, or the Shadow Government is experimenting with strange and frightening new ideas!

Faerie Quests (thanks to darkprincess13uk)
Why are the Faeries constantly losing items, and asking you to finds replacements for them? Surely with all their magic, they can either conjure up a new item, or locate the one they have lost. Also, think about how many people must obtain items for the Faeries each day - how many purple lipsticks does a Faerie need???

So you go find these items, hand them over, and them the faerie waves a magic wand, and your Pet is fully healed, is suddenly faster, or maybe something else. But this is magic, its not costing the Faeries anything to just wave their wands about a bit… So what happens to the hundreds of items? But surely the Faeries can't have anything to do with the Shadow Government? Can they?

Kauvara's Magic Shop
The Faerie Portrait is sold in Kauvara's shop for a considerable amount of Neopoints. Yet it doesn't do anything, except entice you with its cryptic message "Could this portrait of the Faerie be the secret you've been looking for? Find out. Very Rare Item**" If you try to use the item, it simply disappears! (thanks to clare4000).

Bottle Faeries are also sold by Kauvara, and this very strange little circle of events was pointed out by meaningless_username.

Balthazar the Bounty Hunter runs around and catches Faeries, and then shoves them into bottles. He then sells the Faeries to Kauvara, who places them in her Shop. Kauvara has an agreement with the Faerie Queen, and pays her to ensure that the Faeries will bless your pet once released. Neopians then buy the faeries from the shop for large amounts of Neopoints. Once released, the Faeries are again captured by Balthazar. (I imagine the poor faeries get quite distressed by all of this, and are sometimes so relieved to be out of the bottle, they forget to bless your pet!). This may just be a strange profit-making venture by Balthazar, Kauvara and the Faerie Queen, or is the Shadow Government also involved?

Once again we have come to a convenient place to stop, there are so many other strange happenings in Neopia, so best to stop here for now before we all get too paranoid!!

As always, if you have any ideas, feel free to let me know! See you next time!

Week 21 Related Links

Into the Snowager's Lair: Part One
"Fortune, do you know what the password was for the meeting at Hubert's Hot Dog stand?"

by kougrachica89


Like This Would Ever Happen...
Does the Snowager deserve this type of justice?

by funny_sox


Oops!
This potion making game has a lot of pets in trouble.

by dustbustered



Search :
Other Stories

The Ultimate Pastime: The NeoPets Chatting Board
Immediately, I found myself in a sea of friendly people...

by icecream_sundae


The Ever Shapeable Chia
Ever mistake a Chia for a fruit? No? I have, and... what? No... well, yes, it is actually funny!

by chikisan


Reasons to Collect
It sounds odd, but there are some really good advantages to collecting.

by silver


What is Fetch!?
How do you play it? What is the purpose of the game?

by natie218


The Reason Behind the Rampaging: An Interview With a Wandering Ghost
Reporter pythonaddict812 was released in the small hours of Friday night to discover the real story...

by pythonaddict812


Neopets | Main | Articles | Editorial | NeoMarket
Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series | Search