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ROXY'S DESK - ROXY: I told you my darlin' little Angelpuss wouldn't write
for The Neopian Times again unsupervised but she's under supervision now. My petpet
has decided to give another go at being an advice columnist. I'm at her side to
aide her on her quest. I hand the pen over to Troxy...
TROXY: Hello, it's me, Troxy! I'm back and ready to answer those questions.
I went on a holiday with this very nice Lupe and my new friend, Frank. I'm such
good friends with Frank, I can even call him Frankie! Frankie is pretty cool
but he has this odd obsessions with taking over the world. Why would you want
to take over Neopia? Hello! If I was going to conquer something it'd so be the
Neopian Moon. I'd always wanted to be queen of a land that matches my beautiful
fur. Roxy always says that black is in style, the truth is it's really white.
White can never not be in style! I've forgiven my owner for leaving me behind
because she got me an amazing Christmas present. Here is my first piece of advice,
"A good present can get you anything!" It's especially good when you're the
only receiving side *wink*
Dear Roxy and Troxy: We saw Dr. Sloth Day. Can we be expecting Roxy
Day anytime soon? -I Like Usukis
Dear I Like Usukis: I'd be honored if there ever was a Roxy Day!
-Roxy
Dear I Like Usukis: Why would you want a day about Roxy, when you
could have Troxy Day? Hello! I'm so much cuter than her! Besides, Roxy sleeps
with a night light so I don't think she really deserves a day of her own. Days
of honor are meant for people who aren't afraid of the dark and I'm not afraid.
Pick me! -Troxy
ROXY: Excuse me! A night light? I think not, the night light is yours,
Troxy. Why am I beginning to think this was a horrible idea.
TROXY: It's a horrible idea because you're a horrible Shoyru!
ROXY: Way to raise my self esteem, Trox.
TROXY: No problem. Next letter please!
Dear Roxy and Troxy: My owner is attempting to give me a Christmas
Korbat Morphing Potion. I don't want it! Help! -A Christmas Korbat
Dear A Christmas Korbat: You need to talk to your owner and tell her
you don't want a Christmas Korbat Morphing Potion. You need to explain to her
why you don't want become a jolly Korbat all the time. Be prepared to tell your
owner what you really want. Your owner should understand, if you communicate
calm but firm. -Roxy
Dear A Christmas Korbat: By your alias, I'm guessing that you've taken
the potion and you've become a Christmas Korbat. Despite the fact, you didn't
want to become one... that's too bad. Oh well, it wasn't me so I don't really
care. -Troxy
ROXY: You can't say that. That's so mean and uncaring.
TROXY: Uhh... have you met me? I really don't care.
ROXY: Never again, will I let you help me with this. If you hate doing
it, why do you always insist on helping me with my article?
TROXY: I don't know. It's kind of funny watching your face turn bright
red when you're mad.
ROXY: (with red face) My face is not red!
TROXY: I'll correct myself then, the word tomato colored comes to
mind.
ROXY: You're impossible.
TROXY: I know.
ROXY: Never again!
TROXY: Never is a long time, I'll be back!
Dear Roxy and Troxy: I go to the Advent Calendar every day and my
Mutant Lupe is getting a cold from going up there. I can't leave her by herself
in my Neohome but I still want to go to the Advent Calendar. What should I do?
-A Mixed Emotions Owner
Dear A Mixed Emotions Owner: You should buy your Mutant Lupe a nice,
new winter coat. I'll keep your Lupe nice and warm and you can travel where
ever you wish in Winter World. -Roxy
Dear A Mixed Emotions Owner: Well, my advice to you is a buy a clue.
It's January, the Advent Calendar is closed! Why would you want to go hang out
a place where you can't get free stuff? You're worse than the ketchup crazy
man! -Troxy
ROXY: I'm not even going to say anything.
TROXY: (baby talk) You know you love me!
Dear Roxy and Troxy: I got my brother a book for his birthday (he
loves them). When I gave it to him, he said he wanted a petpet and not a "silly
book." Now he's SO angry at me! What do I do? -Oopsie-Daisie
Dear Oopsie-Daisie: It doesn't sound like this is your fault, it's
your brother's. He sounds very ungrateful and should appreciate any gift he
receives. If he mad at you because you got him a present then tell him, next
year he won't get anything. There are tons of unfortunate Neopets that would
kill for a book and you better inform your brother how lucky he actually is.
-Roxy
Dear Oopsie-Daisie: You should have bought him an Angelpuss! -Troxy
ROXY: How is that supposed to help Oopsie-Daisie?
TROXY: Angelpi rule!
ROXY: (sigh) The sooner we get this over with, the better.
Dear Roxy and Troxy: Considering that you're advice givers, I want
to ask you a very important question. What advice would you give to someone
who wants to become an advice giver?
-I Want To Be An Advice Giver
Dear I Want To Be An Advice Giver: There is no way I can tell you
to give good advice, it's a gift. Just put yourself and their shoes and try
to envision what you would do if you were them. Be careful what advice you offer,
bad advice can come back to haunt you. -Roxy
Dear I Want To Be An Advice Giver: Never leave an Angelpuss behind!
-Troxy
ROXY: Never leave an Angelpuss behind? You said you were over that!
TROXY: I lied!
ROXY: You're impossible.
TROXY: I've been informed that, like ten times!
ROXY: Let's just get this over with...
Dear Roxy and Troxy: Why do you do an advice column? -Curious
Aisha
Dear Curious Aisha: I have an advice column because I like to offer
my advice to the world. I love to give back and help others. It's a great way
to help people and make new friends. It's what I love to and I wouldn't stop
giving an advice for anything. Not even Dr. Frank Sloth could keep me from writing.
-Roxy
Dear Curious Aisha: Well, this is Roxy's column and I'm just am a
guest star. If I was ever to have my own advice column, it'd be because why
not have one? -Troxy
ROXY: A guest star? You're not a guest star! You're not coming back,
EVER!
TROXY: (pout with baby talk) Why not? You don't love me?
ROXY: You're awful at giving advice! I think Slothy might be better
than you, that's sad!
TROXY: (crying) You're so mean!
ROXY: (horrified) I'm sorry Trox. All right, you can come
back another time.
TROXY: (evil grin) I knew I could make you crack!
ROXY: (groan) I hate you!
TROXY: No, you don't. You lurve me!
ROXY: This is the end, my friends. I apologize for the damage Troxy
has done. Please feel free to ignore her advice! She's currently not going to
be writing for awhile, she needs to learn some manners ! Troxy shall not be
back for a VERY, VERY, long time! Troxy may return one day only if, she ditches
the attitude. Knowing her, the attitude won't fade for a long time; don't expect
Troxy to reappear next week. I'll continue to write and I promise to always
offer the best advice possible.
TROXY: Adios! I shall not be around for awhile, but I'd like you to
know I'll miss ya'll. Heck, who am I kidding? I don't know you, I won't miss
you and I don't care. I'm glad we summed that up. I think Frankie writes for
The Neopian Times, maybe I can co-write with him. I guess, you'll have to wait
and see. Toodles!
To submit your question/problem to be answered by Roxy, simply send a Neomail
to roxycaligirl101. All messages must be appropriate with proper spelling and
grammar. Please put the subject as "Dear Roxy." Inappropriate, tasteless, and
repeated messages will be deleted, so please don’t waste your and my time. Please
don't send problems that have already been solved by Roxy. Due to an overwhelming
amount of messages, not all of them can be answered by Roxy. All messages are
subjected to editing and can be published. Don't submit something if you don't
want to see it in The Neopian Times.
Author’s Note: Thanks to the readers and to all who submitted their problems.
Troxy isn't a bad Angelpuss, she's just different. Troxy shall no be returning
for awhile so please don't send letters for her to answer. Thanks for reading
and may the Borovan always be with you!
Curious about the origin of Troxy? She's makes her first appearance in Issue
#118, please don't hesitate to check it out! It's titled, "Dear Troxy."
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