Some of the Scariest Things on Neopia by epk |  |
PLAGUED WOODS - Maybe not all the things on my list are exactly scary, but
at least I don't like them, and if I do like them, they are scary! It's
Halloween and I need some sort of 'scary' article. Let me get on with it.
18. Candy Vampire
Go down to the news for the 21st of October, and go to the thing about Halloween
Petpets. See the Candy Corn thingy? It's real name is... CANDY VAMPIRE! And
look at that thing! If that just doesn't scare the Meuka out of ya, I don't
know what does! Sure, #1 is Cute, #3 is... well, posing evil, and #4 looks like
Aunt Bob. But lemme tell you, that species of petpet is evil! This seriously
will cause a mysterious raise in the amount of Candy Corn at the dump this Halloween.
In fact, that's scary enough to keep me from Trick or Treating this year. Not
that I did last year, or the year before... I think some mysterious power showed
me images of Candy Vampire in my mind before it came out or something. Yeah.
That must of been it. Yeah.
17. The Mysterious Black Lupe in the Marketplace
Although I've always had a general fear of the Lupe species (no further discussion)
this particular one seems to really creep me. If you are to go to the Marketplace,
and the link is on the left side of the Neopian Bazaar map, you'll see a Black
Lupe in the upper-right. What is it doing there? All the other Neopets are in
front of the buildings, but the Black Lupe is creeping along the backside. The
exception to this is, of course, the Cloud Gelert, which doesn't seem to be
hiding. I dunno about you, but something is up... possibly... something... relating
to a Black Lupe? Hmm... I dunno about you, but THAT IS SCARY. What other wrongdoers
are creeping around on maps, doing stuff we don't even know about? So much for
Trick or Treating around mushroom-shaped happy face buildings this year.
16. Jelly World... or should I say, Orange Jelly World
If you haven't seen the sneak peek of the mysterious land made out of... Jelly... then
you gotta! RIGHT THERE! Many
long-time admirers of my articles (Any takers?) may know that I wrote the one
of the first Jelly
World article and may I say, I still have a slight disliking of the
world. Especially now that I see it with my own eyes, it is really scary. The
ground is Jelly, something that just can't be good. Jelly is something easily
sunk into. I mean, a Lenny tries to land in this jelly, stands there, goes to
sleep, and in the morning has been seen 500 meters under Sea Level, or Jelly
Level in this case. C'mon! That's not even sane! I'm scared for my own health!
Man, so much for Jelly Snacks this Halloween.
Besides, Blue Jelly or Red Jelly is MUCH better.
15. The Mysterious Lack of Koi
Maybe I'm plugging for my favourite species of Neopet, but I was looking at
the Art Gallery special Aquatic
Pets and I saw a lack of a certain aquatic Neopet. What one? A Koi?
Isn't that the Neopet that means aquatic? Considering it came from the aquatic
city of MARAQUA? The Peophin is half a land animal, Flotsam and Jetsam mean
'floating' debris, not underwater! And Tuskaninny... well... that's a Walrus.
It's arctic. Not aquatic. More, eh, arctiaquatic? (Confused) But also the Kiko
was also unseen in the count. So, it leads me to believe that someone is out
there kidnaping K things. And that isn't good: my first name starts with K!
Now I know someone is out there to kidnap me.
14. A Popup
Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh... I was surfing the Neopets site, the Fruit Machine to be
exact, when all of a sudden, POP! A popup appears for one of Neopets sponsors!
My favourite popupless site, had a popup! That was scary, the entire popping
thing. And that kidnapper in #15? What if he popups on me while I'm walking!
Man... I'm concerned. Help.
13. The Teeth of the Ghost Moehog
Have you seen the Ghost Moehog? Perhaps you have, perhaps you haven't, but either
way, you can't help but be concerned when you see those teeth! They are bright
yellow! Doesn't Neopets have a sponsorship with Crest?
I never brush before bed!
Well, if they do, I see a candidate to show how well it works! The reason the
teeth made it all the way up to Unlucky 13 was because I am the kind of person
who buys gum that whitens teeth 95% of the time. I spend 20 minutes each night
flossing and brushing. I hate plaque and yellow stains. If I had a body image
pet peeve, that would be it. So the Ghost Moehog concerns me. Or at least the
teeth. The rest of it looks cool. If it wasn't for the teeth, the overtousled
hair of the Ghost Jetsam (someone gave me a link before the Neopet was released.
I'm lucky.) would definitely make the list.
12. The Krawk Island Skull
Maybe this isn't the world's most famous skull, but it is now this Halloween's
must famous Skull on Neopia if enough people read this article. If you go to
Krawk Island and look pixels Southeast of the Smuggler's Cove you see a little
white thing. For a long time I always thought it was a butterfly or flower.
Yup. But then I looked closer (aka isolated Flash File, Zoomed In.) and saw
that it was a skull! And the doctors say I have 20/20 vision... anyway, why
is there a skull THERE? Aren't these smugglers, not head-hunters? Doesn't that
mean the people who dress up as pirates next door could be out for your head?
(Ahh!)
11. Downtimes
We've all seen them. Those somewhat-random happenings where the site just goes
DEAD. I mean, that's like rain during a parade. You just can't enjoy what is
going on. You have no clue what they are doing. Are they making the site faster?
Are they doing repairs to the database? Are they looking for a lost screw? And
what can you do during them? They give us games that don't even give you Neopoints!
Downtimes are really... really... well, scary.
10. Magical Plushies
I'm not to say they are are bad thing, but they do frighten me a little. First
of all, we already have Morphing Potions, no? But now we have Magical Plushies
that transform your Neopet! That's no good, no, not at all! It's almost a waste
of space... and besides, what happens if a Doglefox Plushie becomes magical?
Then we'll have petpets for Neopets! Talk about a DISADVANTAGE in the Battledome.
Or one of the exclusive Brain Tree plushies, or a NeoQuest Plushie! Then your
Neopet becomes... well... it will be taken over by the Chia Police. Something
like that, yeah. And what happens when you can't tell the difference, give the
Plushie to your beloved Draik, and POOF! You now are stuck with a Kiko. (Not
that Kiko's are bad.) And what if you get tricked by a person who gives out
plushies this Halloween? Hmm?
9. The Esophagor
If you have ever been to the Haunted Woods, chances are you've seen the Esophagor.
Well, he's a very hungry mountain under the ground, and if you get the food
he wants from Edna or the Marketplace, you'll get a nice reward of either half
an answer to a Brain Tree quest or a random item. I've gotten many things from
him, but the only time he gave off a major profit was when I got a Fish Negg
from him BEFORE they were retired. I gave it away. Stupid mistake. But that's
okay, he still is fun to work for. (Hmm... he is on my little time on Neopets
shield as of October. Creepy.)
8. Grarrl Keno
You know Tyrannia, right? Well, a long time ago they released something called
Grarrl Keno and I got ADDICTED to it. My NP Supply shot from 500,000 NP down
to below 100,000 NP. That was bad. Real bad. It took more then a few games of
Meerca Chase to get my NP back. Yup. The current 49,560,000 NP prize for me
is not desirable at all. Nope. I am a little tempted, so I tried one game and
lost 1,652 NP. Don't do it. Yeah... *makes browser block Grarrl Keno page* I
needed that. My banker agrees: It is the right thing to do.
7. The Spotted Sludgy
If you are to look at the news, the same day as the Candy Vampire and the Mysterious
Lack of Koi, (Oct. 21) you'll see at the bottom there that Sludgies can be painted
4 different colours. Well, the spotted one... well, it looks like Chocolate Chip
Cookie Dough! Maybe your making a cookie and a Sludgy falls from the sky, into
the batter, and you make a no-longer delicious cookie with it? Hmm? Wouldn't
that be... bad? OR what f your Neopet has a sweet tooth and a Spotted Sludgy?
I could see medical bills in your future... and speaking of the future...
6. The Island Mystic
I've gotta say, he has made me money. Although I've never actually taken his
advice, I got in the Storytelling Competition once because I got to refer to
him as Man with Bone in Head. Not this week's, sadly. I've tried 1 NT Short
Story worth of words for my submissions and I'm still not in... wahhh... anyway.
What his normal function is is to tell the future. You see him do this on Mystery
Island. He more precisely tells your future, and it normally means you lose
something, get chased by something, or get eaten by something. Well, at least
my futures. None of them have come true yet, but... anyway. Wanna know what
his original function was? He took your codestones. Yup. He would descramble
a code with your codestones. And he didn't do that, Dr. Sloth would turn your
Neopet into a mutant. Yup. That's right. He took your codestones. (They cost
300 NP about then) After that, he was just a tour guide for Mystery Island telling
you a select 2 or 3 Cooking Pot recipes. After that, he told futures after eating
too many fortune cookies. But I wonder... will his code-descramblin' services
be required again... perhaps in an NPv2-type of thing? But still, this man took
your codestones! THAT'S BAD!
5. The Baby Paint Brush
Have you ever seen this Paint Brush? It can turn a full-grown Neopet into an
infant! My 800 days old Gelert, for example, could be walking around like he
was 15 days old! That really gives a bad impression of a Neopet if you ask me.
Like, really bad. I mean, the paint brush doesn't control their mind... right?
Just their form. It still is fun to beat up babies older then your mature Neopet
Erm...
4. Neolodge and Free Parking
It costs 5 NP a day for Free Parking at the Neolodge. That means all those cookie
samples from the local bakery? Guess how much those are. This is worse then
a Minimum Price at the Shop Wizard. (I've used it only to find Bottle of Sand
Galleries.) It should be Reserved Parking... right? But then again, all those
extras at the Neolodge that take your money... do you get any back?
3. The Money Tree Ghosts
If you ever are around the Money Tree, your bound to see the ghosts there. They
are white with red eyes, stick figure arms, gray shirt with a red star on it,
or something. Okay... talk about something deserving of the run away from thing.
They also take innocent owners Neopoints and give it to either A) greedy people
or B) people who's parents won't allow them to install Flash 6 to play the Flash
Games so they can't make any Neopoints. Maybe B is more general then that, but
still. I've lost Neopoints thanks to them. I know I've made people happy because
of it, but I do better things when I donate 1,000 NP to the Wishing Well.
My wish? Plot Part 8.
2. King Skarl's Hair
If you have seen the King Skeith's hair in any of the Plots, you know what I'm
talking about. That thing needs a do-over, if it is even real! That hair is
just crazy. It just is. I'm serious. It just is.
And now... the moment you've all been waiting for... what is the NUMBER ONE SCARY
THING IN NEOPIA?
1. THE GAME FETCH!!!
Have you seen the game Fetch? Well, if you have or haven't, lemme sum it all
up. You have a Mutant Blumaroo. It's hideous looking... no offence to anyone
who loves the thing, but... ew. It looks like a bunch of wax. And second of all,
it has a master that desires certain items. And those items often have ROTTEN
or something to that effect in them. And no, you can't go to the Shop Wizard,
you have to go slowly (especially if you don't have DSL, like me) through a
maze using a compass that looks like a disgruntling to an Alien Aisha. The maze
takes forever, the prizes are barely worth it, and also: How can people get
that much stinkin' points! 12,000... ya got to be kidding me. The game is plain
crazy. It is. Plain crazy. Or should I say... SCARY?
Anyway, I gotta get this thing submitted so you can enjoy it. If anyone wants
to Neomail
me their opinions, suggestions, flames, or whatever, go right ahead. (Question
of the week: What would you get if you put all 18 of these things together?
Answer that why don't ya.) Support Maraqua and bye in Six Different Languages
until next time!
Disclaimer: Any opinions made by the author (such as Mutant Blumaroos are
scary) are his and not facts. Article written 10/21/02, 10/22/02, 10/23/02 and
submitted approx. 6:59 AM NST 10/24/02 (Just in case anything covered in the
article becomes out-of-date). |
