Another Installment of Neopian Conspiracy Theories by onugu |  |
Last week I introduced you to my guild, the Neolluminati, and investigations
have revealed that the Shadow Government may also have branches around Neopia,
one of which has been discovered to be the Alumni.
So, ask yourself, "Do you wanna work for the good guys (The Neolluminati)?
Or the baddies (The Alumni)?"
In my last report we looked into ways that the Neopia Shadow Government makes
its money. This report will continue with that theme, and shed some light on
other underhand sources of funding!
NeoHomes (thanks to badlyburnedchris for pointing this out)
Now, NeoHomes are a nice thing to have. Build your pet a nice comfortable haven
from the rigors of life in the great Neopian outdoors. But are they really necessary?
Well, no, not really. Not everyone in Neopia owns a NeoHome--I don't. Yet, our
pets seem to be perfectly happy and healthy with or without them. So that would
imply that NeoHomes are more of a "status symbol" than a requirement.
Building a NeoHome costs Neopoints. The amount varies depending on where you
want to build it (Faerieland is much more expensive then Neopian Central). Now
this is a little odd, we never see nor hear of the builders, and it's very strange
not to have to make at least ONE cup of tea for a builder! They never appear,
could the Shadow Government be behind this - taking your hard-earned Neopoints?
Once your NeoHome is built, you have the option of buying furniture to put
in it. Now I'm not suggesting that the money from the furniture goes to the
Shadow Government, of course, it goes to the hardworking shopkeepers who make
it (but we'll come to that later). Another thing you can buy for your NeoHome
is insurance. Insurance??? Whatever for? I don't think there has ever been a
single case of a fire, flood, break-in, or even subsidence in the whole of Neopian
history! So these insurance companies never have to pay out, and yep, the money
goes to the Shadow Government.
Still, I'm sure I'll be getting a NeoHome in the near future--they're so nice
to have!
Shops
On a similar note, we have player run shops. You need to pay to open a shop,
and you need to pay every time you upgrade it. Again we see no evidence of builders
with sweaty armpits! So are we paying our money to have our shops enhanced by
some form of magic while the Neopoints we love so much go straight into the
pockets of the Shadow Government?
And why does it get so expensive to make the shop bigger? After all, every
time you upgrade your shop, you're getting an extra five spaces. How can the
cost for five spaces be so vastly different every time? Either inflation has
gone mad, or it's that Shadow Government again!
Jubjub Blackjack (thanks to Neolluminati Agent Ugoshan for this idea)
We've all played Jubjub Blackjack right? You know the one where you play against
your pet, you have draw cards until you're as close to 21 as you dare with out
going over 21. Once you've both draw as many cards as you want, you and your
pet both reveal the cards you hold and their total value. The person with the
highest number under 21 wins (OK, there are other rules too, but you'd need
to look at the game). Before playing, you get a chance to bet on whether you
will win. If you win, you get your bet back, doubled. If you lose, you lose
to your Pet, so the Neopoints you bet also go to your Pet. But what would your
pet do with a load of Neopoints? I'm sure my Pets would give them straight back
to me, after all, I'm the one that looks after them, and buys them things!
I think the money that your Pet "wins" goes straight to the Shadow Government,
and you're given a bogus message to keep you happy!
Scorchy Slots
This is another game, based on a Slot Machine. Now, if you've ever played a
real slot machine, you'll know that you have to put money (or Neopoints) in,
in order to be able to pull the level and possibly win a prize. The only money
you risk losing on a real slot machine is the money you put in the slot. Does
this happen in Scorchy Slots? Yes, but there's something else that happens that
makes me very suspicious!
At the bottom of the Scorchy Slots machine, is a trail of numbers, the idea
is to highlight all the numbers (by rolling up icons with a number value in
the win line), this will cause the volcano to explode, and you get a prize...
most of the time. Sometimes you'll get the volcano erupting merrily, when all
of a sudden one of your Neopoints bursts into flames! Nope, it goes to the Shadow
Government, the flames are to distract you. Or maybe an evil Scorchio or a flock
of Korbats will fly out of the volcano and steal Neopoints from you, and who
do they work for…well done, the Shadow Government.
Other Games
There are loads of games out there that you have to pay to play, examples include
Neggsweeper, Snow Wars, The Wheels, and any of the card games. There are more,
but I can't list them all here. Now some of you may argue that the Neopoints
paid to play these games go towards the upkeep of the games, and the prizes
for the lucky ones. Maybe this is true, but when I think back to how often I
have played Dice-A-Roo, and just how many Neopoints I must have paid… I'm not
so sure!
Once again, I'm afraid I must leave you, I have my own secret mission to go
on, and I may be gone some time! Oh, and for those of you that were worried,
my missing Agent was rescued! |
