| Note from Cheshire: Hi! Yes, I'm back, trying to start this series up again.
I'm now in a different account since jinjolover was just my little cousin's account
I played with her on. Months ago, I stopped playing NeoPets, but now I'm back,
with my very own account, since my change of attitude, and I must say, I've had
a great start. I can almost already afford a Disco Fever Paint Brush! ^_^
Last time, Zemblo and Saenchoe tried to take over Darigan for Dr. Sloth.
Read that here: http://www.neopets.com/newnt/index.phtml?section=10508&week=84
So without further ado, I give you my (awful) short stories series, "Neopia's
Favourite Space Pirates." Maybe I'll even get hate mail this time!
***
A handsome Usul with a smooth haircut approached a wild
club. When he arrived at the front door, a giant, muscular, Quiggle confronted
him.
"Name?" asked the Quiggle, in a low voice.
"You know who I am," replied the handsome Usul.
The Quiggle looked up from his note pad. A shocked look came upon his face.
"Oh, sorry, man," he said, "I didn't know it
was you. Go right in." As the Usul walked in, a crowd of girls screamed for
him. He grinned, and gave them a wink.
In the distance, he could see a young, beautiful
Usul with long, purple hair being harassed by three larger Usuls. He decided
to take action. He stepped up.
"Leave her alone," he said, bravely.
"Why?" asked the leader of the thugs, sporting
an ugly, white, tuxedo. "What cha' gonna do about it?"
"This," he replied, as he got into fighting
position. As one thug approached him, he jumped high into the air, and gave
him a swing kick. When he came back to ground, he gave the other one a powerful
punch. The leader ran out like a coward.
"Thank you for saving me," said the beautiful
Usul. "What's your name?"
"That was something I just learned at the dojo,"
replied the handsome Usul. "And my name's Zemblo. What's yours?"
"Magical Hair Usuki."
"ZEMBLO!!!"
"What is it now?" said Zemblo, an ugly, mutant
Buzz, turning to a Christmas Kougra in the door of an old, cargo ship.
"You were playing with your Usukis again, weren't
you?" said Saenchoe, the tall, Christmas Kougra.
"They're not mine," said Zemblo, trying to look
somewhat mature. "And besides, I wasn't playing them, I was checking their value."
"Well, don't bother," said Saenchoe, "I already
added up the prices of these stolen toys.. And unfortunately, it's not worth
enough Neopoints to buy a house-or even much food."
"Don't worry about it," said Zemblo, pulling
out his Alien Aisha Ray Gun, "me and my ray gun were just on our way to pay
a little visit to the Grundo Chef."
"Zemblo, can't you even try to do anything without
your ray gun?" asked Saenchoe, "By gosh, you even sleep with it!" Right then,
something behind Zemblo caught the attention of Saenchoe.
There was a moment of silence.
Zemblo then starts to sweat.
"O-oh no..." mumbled Zemblo. "Th-there's a sign
behind me, isn't there?"
Saenchoe nodded.
"A-and," moaned Zemblo, "you want me to read
it, don't you?"
Saenchoe nodded again. Zemblo turned around,
shaky. He looked up at the poster.
"I HAVE WHAT YOU WANT, AT JHUDORA'S CLOUD. COME
TO FAERIELAND, AND LOOK FOR PURPLE CLOUD."
Zemblo turned around, only to see Saenchoe with
that look on his face.
"Saenchoe, no!" said Zemblo, worried. "We tried
the whole Space Pirate thing! Last time, remember what happened? We turned Neopia's
most respected villain into a Cybunny! And I hardly ever got to use my ray gun!"
"Well," said Saenchoe, "That's one good thing."
"Forget it," said Zemblo. "Even if we are Space
Pirates, we don't do girly things like help Faerie princesses!"
"Ah, but we play with Usukis?" said Saenchoe,
with a smirk on his face.
***
Later, Zemblo and Saenchoe were flying high above Faerieland, looking for
Jhudora's Cloud.
"Relax, Zemblo," said Saenchoe. "If it was for
this job, we wouldn't have this here good ol' reliable ship!" Saenchoe patted
the dashboard. The next thing they heard was *KER-POW!*
"...Not good."
The engine had stopped while they were in mid-air
the ship made a straight dive for the clouds of Faerieland. As soon as the ship
made contact with the (fortunately) soft clouds, the two Space Pirates bounced
out of the ship door.
"Well," said Saenchoe, brushing himself off.
"We're here."
"I've had it!" shouted Zemblo. "We're going
home."
"There's no turning back, now, Zemblo," said
Saenchoe. "The ships broken, and we only have 100 Neopoints-not enough to fix
it. And besides-we have no home, remember?" Zemblo marched over to a Light Faerie
and gave her the 100 Neopoints.
"ZEMBLO!" shouted Saenchoe. "What are you doing?"
"Making money," he replied. He then walked up
to a colourful wheel, then span it. As soon as it stopped, a bolt of lightning
came down from the sky and electrocuted Zemblo.
"ARRGH!" Zemblo cried, in pain. "Why do you
put these things on the Wheel of Excitement?"
"Actually," said the Light Faerie, "that must've
just been bad luck. You won your Neopoints back. Here you go."
Zemblo snatched the money, marched off.
"Face it," said Saenchoe, "we're stuck here."
"Let's just go to the stinkin' purple cloud,"
said Zemblo.
***
"She's SO dreamy..."
"WHAT?!?"
"I said, she's so dreamy..." said Saenchoe,
as they approached Jhudora.
"Oh, please," replied Zemblo, "she's ugly, smells
like Elephante dung, and her nails are like-5 feet long."
"Oh, great," Jhudora moaned, "another two nitwits
that'll do anything for T-shirts." Zemblo and Saenchoe approached the throne.
"Er... would you be Jhudora?" asked Zemblo.
"No," Jhudora replied sarcastically, "I just
look exactly like her and feel like sitting in her throne."
"Oh, okay..." They almost walked away.
"Gee," she said, "you pick up on dark sarcasm
SO WELL!"
"Thanks!" replied Zemblo.
Jhudora sighed. "Do you have any job experience?"
"Well, we used to work for Dr, Sloth..."
"Did you say D-D-Dr. Sloth?"
"Er... yeah, why?"
"H-h-he's SO dreamy..." Zemblo turned to Saenchoe.
"Wow," he said, "you two have a lot in common!"
Saenchoe growled, threw a ball of cloud at Zemblo,
and faced Jhudora.
"Forget him," he said, jealous, "he's a Cybunny,
now."
"Oh, is that so?" she said. "And what do we
have here? A Christmas Kougra? Did Santa send you with more of that black, messy,
useless stuff?"
"No, but Cupid sent me with..."
"Ew," she said in disgust. "Don't make me sick!
Okay, you're hired, but just because you know Sloth. Bring me pickled olives."
Saenchoe bent over to Zemblo.
"Do you think we should've told her WE were
the ones who made Sloth a Cybunny?" whispered Zemblo.
"Can you say... DEATH WISH?" replied Zemblo,
quietly.
***
"Zemblo! Get off my back!"
"What? What did I say!"
"No, LITERALLY!"
Zemblo looked away from the window of a house,
and jumped off Saenchoe. Saenchoe collapsed, panting.
"They have the olives," said Zemblo. "Let's
go in." Zemblo dragged Saenchoe in.
***
Inside, Zemblo made and unsteady pile of furniture to reach the jar of olives.
"Got it!"
"It's about time!" shouted Zemblo, staring out
the window. "The kids home from Neoschool!"
A little, happy, Skeith in a little pink dress
hopped to the front door.
"Lalala... what a wonderful day!" She unlocked
the door, and hopped in.
"HOHOHO!"
"Santa!" She ran and hugged the Christmas Kougra.
"Hello, little girl!" said the Christmas Kougra,
carrying a bag.
"But wait..." said the little girl, "it's not
winter."
"Uhh... *ahem* That's because..." said Saenchoe,
unconfidently, in a low voice, "because of our Christmas in September program!
Yeah! You see... when it's winter here, it's summer for the little kids on the
other side of Neopia! So we decided to give the kids a chance to have Christmas
in winter! So HOHOHO, and happy New Year -- I mean, Merry Christmas."
"But why aren't you fat?"
"HOHOHO! Well, ol' Santa decided he has had
to much milk and too many cookies!"
"So I guess it's okay I didn't leave you anything
then. Oh! My present! Where's my present!"
"Er..." Saenchoe couldn't really think of anything.
"Here's... your... wonderful, amazing... mutant Buzz plushie!"
The little Skeith took Zemblo from Saenchoe.
"Um... yay?"
"HOHOHO! Just doing my job!" 'Santa' attempted
to climb up the chimney while the little Skeith girl took Zemblo downstairs.
"I'm gonna name you Molly!" said the little
Skeith. "And YOU need a makeover!"
***
Ugh... Zemblo thought, they actually give make-up to little girls!
Suddenly, they heard a large shout throughout the house.
"I'm home!" called the owner.
"Mommy! Mommy! You'll never believe what happened!"
She ran down the stairs. Zemblo just stayed put like a plushie. Then, he saw
a Doglefox. It was sniffing around, obviously looking for a place, too...
"AAAAAAAAH!!!" screamed Zemblo, running out
into the backyard. "EW! EW! I'm permanently stained!"
"I got the olives."
"Sure, okay, Saenchoe, let's just... Saenchoe?
Where'd you go?"
"I'm up here."
Zemblo looked up on the roof.
"Unfortunately, I have no flying Ixi with me,"
said Saenchoe. He jumped onto the mutant Buzz. "Ah, sweet revenge."
***
Back at Jhudora's Cloud, they handed over the pickled olives.
"Hmmm... not bad," she said. She then popped
one into her mouth.
"Ew," said Zemblo, "you're actually eating those.
"No," she said, once again, sarcastically, "I'm
putting them in my mouth, chewing them and swallowing them."
"But isn't that the same as--"
"*Sigh* Want one?" Jhudora asked Saenchoe.
"Probably not," said Zemblo, "Ol' Santa is on
a diet."
"Anyway," she said, "Your next quest is..."
***
Over the next couple days, the pair of Space Pirates stayed on Jhudora's cloud,
completing all her quests by robbing nearby houses.
"I'm pooped," said Saenchoe.
"Hey Saenchoe," said Zemblo, "know what we're
supposed to do with this nectar stuff?"
"Just as much as I know what we should do with
this blob in this jar," said Saenchoe. "It sort of looks like Wonton Soup. Maybe
we should eat it." Jhudora approached the two happily.
"Get up!" she shouted, "Don't you know what
today is?"
"The day of my death?" said Saenchoe.
"Even better!" said Jhudora. "Today is the day
of your last quest! And I want you two to bring me Sloth!"
"SLOTH?!?" they both shouted. They knew even
if they found Sloth, he would never come with them.
"Yes..." she said, "Sloth... I don't care what
species he is.... it's his... evilness."
***
"So," asked Zemblo, "what do we do now?"
"We check the pound," said Saenchoe. "We might
find something half as good."
***
In the pound, they walked up to a pink Uni and an old, scary Techo.
"Do you have any Cybunnies?" asked Saenchoe.
"Sorry," said the pink Uni, "it's rare we get
limited species around here. And besides, two Neopets can't adopt a Neopet.
That would be... wrong."
"But you can disown yourself!" said the yellow
Techo, snickering. Everyone just stared at him.
***
"Well," said Saenchoe, "at least we tried.
"Wait!" said Zemblo. "I think we got trouble!"
They hid behind a garbage can, and Zemblo pointed at the police station. There
were a lot of angry people there.
"Hey!" said Saenchoe. "Wasn't that the owner
with the pickled olives."
"Yeah," said Zemblo. "And I recognize some of
the others, too. If they catch us, we'll have to go to Faerieland court. I heard
the judge there is Fyora."
"Zemblo," said Saenchoe, "I have a plan."
"What is it?"
"You know how that plushie ship always comes
in handy to us?"
"Yeah?"
"That's not going to stop now."
***
Zemblo and Saenchoe were approaching the cloud.
"Zemblo!" shouted Saenchoe. "You forgot to take
the label off!"
"It says -- TALKS WHEN YOU HUG IT," said Zemblo.
"At least Jhudora will have someone to talk to!" Saenchoe ripped the label off
the Cybunny plushie. They approached the throne.
"S-SLOTH!" screamed Jhudora. "You really do
care!" She hugged it tight.
"Big hug!"
"Okay!" Jhudora hugged the plushie really right.
"I like carrots!"
"OH... MY... GOSH... WE, LIKE, HAVE SO MUCH
IN COMMON!" Jhudora hugged the plushie again.
"I love you."
"These are... the happiest moments of my life!"
"Quick," whispered Zemblo, "RUN!" They ran straight
for the ship.
"Is it fixed?" Saenchoe asked the repairman.
"Sure is," he replied. They took a moment to
look back on Jhudora. The mob was approaching her.
"HEY! THAT FAERIE HAS OUR STUFF!" one shouted.
"Come on, Slothy," said Jhudora, "Let's RUN!"
Unfortunately, she and 'Slothy' ran into Fyora.
*ZAP*
***
"Tell me why we're here again, Saenchoe?" asked Zemblo.
"I heard Jhudora was staying at Meri-Acres Farms,"
said Saenchoe. "I wanted to see how she was doing."
When they got to the farm, they looked down.
"Well," said Zemblo, "I guess I was right about
the 'Smells like dung' thing. That was interesting of Fyora to do that. Are
you alright?"
"Yeah," said Saenchoe, "she wasn't my type."
"You don't HAVE a type," said Zemblo.
Just then, Saenchoe stared at something. His
jaw dropped.
"What?" asked Zemblo. "What is it?" He stared
in the same direction, and saw an Earth Faerie with green streaks in her hair.
"What did I just say, Saenchoe?" said Zemblo.
He started running.
"Well," said Saenchoe, hopeful, "maybe she doesn't
have a type!"
The End
(...or not)
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