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Untitled Document
Name: Gedda Happycheek
Species: Kacheek
Location: Some Mysterious Valley, Meridell
SOME MYSTERIOUS VALLEY - Howdy! Welcome to the latest installment of Background
Voices of Neopia. I try to interview as many unknown Neopians as I can, and
this week is no exception.
This Kacheek, is very unknown. Besides her Collectable Card, she hasn't stepped
foot in the busy streets of Neopia Central for... well... forever. I decided
to go to the mysterious valley and interview her.
So EmeraldBlitz, my fire Krawk and I set off. I can't tell you where we went
because the little munchkins will eat us, and that would be terrible. We headed
east...I mean west...I mean...we arrived at the valley in search of Gedda Happycheek.
We approached a little Wocky with a pointy green hat.
EB: Hello, we're looking for Gedda Happycheek. Can you take us to her?
Wocky: Yes.
EB: Come on TK! We can't interview Gedda if you don't get out form behind
that mushroom.
TK: Gn-gn-gn-gn...
Wocky: Gnome?
TK: YES!
EB [in a whisper]: TK's afraid of gnomes.
So the little Wocky summoned Gedda Happycheek who came skipping in our direction.
She was a little yellow Kacheek... with a beard.
GH (in song): Hi hi hi, ho ho ho, I'm Gedda Happycheek, you know, you know!
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, I heard you want to interview me!
TK: BACK YOU EVIL DEMON!
EB: Yes, nothing is more evil than a singing gnome.
EB: Gedda, tell us about your little valley here. Like, how it was discovered
and could you be specific on the location?
GH: My great-great-grandfather Avery Happycheek set out to find a place where
he could grow mutant mushrooms and sell them at amazingly high prices. He found
this valley off the coast of Meridell. And if you publish our location, we'll
eat you.
EB: Oh, that's a funny joke!
GH: Yes... joke...
EB: How many of you live down here?
TK: I'm guessing 666.
GH: There's thousands of us! You're probably wondering how we keep it all
secret. You see, there's lots of magic surrounding our valley. Whenever someone
smart comes near, the magic causes them to walk away like zombies!
TK: But that never happened to us!
GH: Like I said, whenever someone SMART comes along.
TK: So you aren't afraid of me leaving and blabbing it to all of my friends
who will come and attack you with pitchforks and torches.
GH: No, I'm not afraid of you getting your FRIENDS.
EB: The burns just keep on rolling in. So, Ms. Happycheek--do you mind if
I call you that?
GH: Call me that again and I eat you! *smiles cheekily*
TK: Awwww, that's so cute... wait a second...
EB: Do you gnome Neopets have a civilization down here? With laws, currency,
and so on?
GH: The only law we have is if you be good, you get fed. As for currency,
we use white toadstools. If you want to go into a shop to buy something, you
squeeze the goop in the toadstool on the counter. If the goop is yellow, you
get the item you want. If the goop is blue, you don't. If the goop is red, you
get pushed off a bridge.
TK: Sounds fair.
EB: I can't help but notice you have a beard. Not only are you a girl, but
you can't be any older than me!
GH: Silly billy belly button--
TK: Evil evil evil.
GH: It's not a beard! It's actually my Petpet.
She pulled up her 'beard' to reveal a little white Noil was dangling from
her chin. She put her beard back in position.
EB: Oh... that's... er... clever. What do you do with... whatever your Noil's
name is.
GH: You mean Snookums? We write poetry together.
TK: I rest my case. Poetry... a Noil named Snookums... evil. Just evil.
EB: OK then... Why do you keep your Petpet on your chin disguised as a beard
anyway?
GH: The same reason I eat mud.
EB: I'd ask but... I'm not going to ask. What do you little gnome Neopets--
TK: EVIL gnome Neopets.
EB: What do you do for fun?
GH: We sing songs, give hugs and dance around in circles with a feeling of
love for every being in Neopia.
TK: EmeraldBlitz, are you deaf? She's just exploding with evilness!
GH: Oh yeah, not to mention the cult. Our leader will come from the planet
Hsalftehc and bring us back there where we will fire mutation rays at Neopia.
TK: OK, THAT was normal.
EB: Uhuh, that's... extremely scary. Do you have any gnome friends?
GH: Lala, Marigold, Sunshine, Snuggly and Ripper.
TK: Awwwwww, that last name was adorable!
EB: Um... er... did you know your name spelled backwards is Keehcyppah Addeg?
GH: Yes I did.
EB: TK, I'm running out of questions!
TK: Here's one Gedda, why are you so evil?
GH: I love you! *runs up and hugs TK*
TK: AHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
See, I'm not paranoid! That little creature tried to HUG me! I actually ran
away screaming at that point. But no harm done; like the saying goes 'Therapy
heals all wounds.' This is too_kule, signi--wait a second. I wasn't supposed
to print the location of the valley... but I forgot to leave out the fact that
it's in Meridell! *looks over shoulder and sees hundreds of gnomes with bared
teeth* AHHHHHHHH!
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