Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 98,662,396 Issue: 167 | 19th day of Storing, Y6
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Wrawk the Merciless: Part Two

by simsman24000


"Keeeeegggooooo! My feet hurt!"

     "You don't have feet."

     "Well, thank you for being so positive!"


     Wrawk and Keego stopped their trek across the Haunted Woods to survey their surroundings. Exhausted, Wrawk slumped down against a tree trunk for only a split second before realizing how scary the tree was.

     "How in the heck did we get here?" asked Keego angrily. "The factory was right in front of us, but somehow you had to get us lost, didn't you?"

     "Why is it my fault?"

     "Hmm, let's contemplate," said Keego.

     "In Spanish, that would be 'with template,' said Wrawk proudly. "Soy muy intelligente."

     "Err... yes," replied Keego.

     "Now, why is it my fault then?" asked Wrawk, going back to his normal language.

     "Well, Senor Wrawk," groaned Keego, feigning confusion. "Maybe because of the fourteen water breaks you took in the last eight minutes?"

     "I have low stamina!" refuted Wrawk.

     "So do we," came two voices from the darkness.

     "Who said that?" asked Keego, whirling around. Suddenly, two Myncis-one yellow and one green-stepped out from between two trees carrying two large empty crates.

     "Aaaah! The ghosts of Christmas past!!!!!!" Wrawk ran around waving his arms in the air as some Petpets do quite a lot. The two Myncis looked at each other as if to wonder if he was seriously that dim, and then looked to Keego for verification-which they received.

     "Who are you?" asked the yellow Mynci, who had a bright pink bow in her hair-wow, how cliché.

     "We could ask you the same question," said Keego suspiciously.

     "Sure," said the green Mynci, "You could ask us the same question." Keego eyed them oddly. "So..............?"

     "Um," said Keego, "Who are you?"

     "We'd be happy to introduce ourselves," said the Myncis simultaneously.

     "I'm Nora," said the yellow Mynci, "And this is Aron."

     "Aw, that's cute," said Wrawk, coming back to his senses. "Your names are palindromes."

     "Erm....." began a confused Aron, "Yeah......."

     "Why do you two have crates?" asked Keego.

     "We're going to steal NeoFoam from the Haunted Woods Plushie Factory and replace it with polyester, thus causing a Neopiawide itching epidemic."

     "Wh-how-" Wrawk was confused.

     "Just kidding," laughed Nora. "We can read minds."

     "And the clichés keep on coming..." muttered Keego.

     "Wow! That's neat!" cried Wrawk. "So tell me...what am I thinking?"

     "Erm, we just told you," replied Aron.

     "Right again!" yelled Wrawk. "You two are amazing! Now, what should I name you two?"

     "We already have names," said Nora, confused. "What is it with you and naming things?"

     "Oh, you have no idea," began Keego. "Prepare for the worst."

     "I shall call you the Mind Myncis!" announced Wrawk.

     "Eh," said Keego, "Not bad."

     "So now that you know us," piped up Nora, sitting down on the crate she carried, "Who are you?"

     "Keego," said Keego. "No surprises there."

     "Ahem," Wrawk said, clearing his throat. "I am the epitome of evil!"

     "You don't look so evil," said Aron.

     "I have a cape, I have a beard." (Keego snorted.) "What more do you want?"

     "A proper introduction," said Nora, crossing her arms.

     (Now, I find it necessary to say that at this point in the story, who said what is unnecessary. However, I also find it necessary to say that at this point in the story, I will be saying who said what in one long sentence. *ahem* The next few lines of dialogue are spoken by the following: Wrawk, Aron, Wrawk, Nora, Wrawk, Aron, Nora, Aron, Nora, Wrawk, Aron, Wrawk, Nora, Aron, Wrawk, Nora, Wrawk, Nora, Aron, Nora, Aron, Wrawk. There. I hope that helped.)

     "Well, then," said Wrawk. "Allow me to introduce myself."

     "No," declared Aron.

     "Please?" asked the Kiko.

     "OK, fine," said Nora.

     "Ahem......I am Wrawk the Merciless!"

     "What's that mean?"

     "What's what mean?"


     "It means he has no mercy."

     "I am Wrawk the Merciless without mercy!"

     "That's mean!"

     "No, it's not! It's villain-ish."

     "What kind of a last name is Merciless?"

     "Is it Tyrannian?"

     "No, it's not Tyrannian! It's.......Kiko-ish!"


     "Yes, meaning it's from a Kiko."

     "I don't like Kikos."

     "Me either."


     "Me neither."

     "There we go."

     "Enough!" shouted Wrawk finally. "I am Wrawk the Merciless, and you two are the

     first victims in-"

     INTERVENTION TIME! The next few lines are spoken by: Aron, Wrawk, Aron, Wrawk, Aron, Nora, Wrawk, Aron, Nora, Aron, Nora, Aron, Wrawk, Nora, Aron, Keego.

     "You should have a more evil name."

     "Don't interrupt me!"

     "Hey, all I'm saying is that you need a better name."

     Wrawk sighed. "Like what?"

     "Wrawk the Warrior."

     "Or Wrawk the Wistful!"


     "Yeah, it means evil!"

     "No, it doesn't."

     "It doesn't?"

     "It means hoping."

     "Wrawk the Hoping?"

     "I'm hoping you'll shut up!"

     "Shut up?"

     "You mean, our mouths?"

     "Oh, that's it," yelled Keego angrily, pushing the Myncis into the empty crates and maneuvering them so that escape was nearly impossible. "Let's go, Wrawk."

     "But Keego!" whined Wrawk, "What about our Mynci friends?"

     "Friends," said Keego. "Nowhere in the definition of friends do the words 'annoying Myncis who can't stop talking' come up."

     "Keego," stated Wrawk. "I refuse to leave without Nora and.....the other one."

     "Hey!" came Aron's voice from inside the crate, along with pounding noises from Nora's.

     "Not now," said Wrawk to the crate, "I'm negotiating."

     "You don't even know what that word means," snorted Keego.

     "OK, Keego, here's my proposition-wow, 50 NP word," Wrawk cheered. "We get the NeoFoam and then come back for the Mind Myncis."

     "Fine," said Keego. "Now that you mention it, I think I see the plushie factory up ahead."

     Wrawk stopped walking, looked at Keego, pulled out a marker and a notebook, wrote the words "Cliché Count" and made a few tally marks.

     The two Kikos walked for a few minutes, arguing along the way, until they were greeted by their destination: a tall, sleek silver building that looked as if it were about to topple over. It was surrounded by a high barbed-wire fence with Spyders crawling up and down both sides. A large gate stood near the two Kikos, and an old wooden sign above it read "Haunted Woods Plushie Factory."

     "Let's go through the front gate," said Keego, crouching down so as not to be seen by whoever she thought would be watching her.

     "Where's that?" asked Wrawk, crouching down as well.

     " the front."


     The two Kikos crawled behind a line of shrubs until they stood in front of the gate. Wrawk carefully examined the gate's large glassy padlock with a phrase engraved in it, "PLEASE DON'T BREAK IN."

     "Keego, we can't go in," he said sadly.

     "Why not?" asked Keego, scanning her surroundings for a way to break the padlock.

     "It asked us not to."

     "Oh, well we'd better be going then," snorted Keego sarcastically.

     "Yes, let's go!" cried Wrawk, "I want to talk with the Mind Myncis some more!"

     "It's too bad you can't read the story," said Keego, picking up a large rock. "Otherwise, you might be able to see that I snorted sarcastically."

     Wrawk moved out of the way as Keego took a couple of practice pounds before slamming the rock into the padlock. Upon contact, it shattered into a thousand tiny little pieces.

     "WOW!" shouted Wrawk. "You're strong!"

     "Yeah, breaking a glass padlock is really a tough job," laughed Keego, pushing the rusty gate open and staring down at the broken padlock. "Who has a glass lock anyways?"

     "Ooh, ooh, I know!" cried Wrawk. "The Haunted Woods Plushie Factory!"

     "Wow, good job," said Keego, rolling her eyes. "Now just follow me." Keego walked in cautiously through the open gate as Wrawk followed closely behind.

     There wasn't much behind the gates in terms of scenery. It was all grassy, aside from a brick path that the two Kikos carefully walked on. The place looked deserted, but it was anything but that. Spyders and Sludgies crawled around everywhere, and tiny little Slorg trails were all over the brick path.

     Wrawk and Keego walked along the brick path quietly, so as not to disturb the icky petpets around them. But as they reached the tall metal doors of the factory and pushed them slightly open, they were faced with trouble cocktails yet another problem on their path to worldwide domination: plushies. Millions of them.

     Now, don't get me wrong, some plushies are cute. I mean, did you see that El Pickulsaur one? Total dreamboat. But then again, there are some plushies that have beady little eyes, foaming mouths, grotesque features, and other symptoms of TK Syndrome. And those are just the type of plushies that Wrawk and Keego were soon about almost in the near future to encounter.

     "I don't wanna go in anymore," whined Wrawk, stopping dead in his tracks. "Look what the author said about what we're about to encounter!"

     "Wrawk," scolded Keego, "if he was anything remotely close to a good author, he wouldn't have written an entire series about you."

     "Well then," said Wrawk, regaining his composure and pushing open the ginormous, humongulous, enorlarge, other-made-up-words-for-big doors, "after you, Keego."


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Other Episodes

» Wrawk the Merciless: Part One
» Wrawk the Merciless: Part Three

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