Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 197,747,911 Issue: 1001 | 9th day of Awakening, Y26
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Your questions answered!


Read the answers to the most commonly asked Neopets questions this week in the Editorial section. Each week the most popular questions will be answered by one of the creators of Neopets, so keep checking back to stay updated.


Quote of the Week


That was one thing about Falvinx, he was always smiling. He didn’t seem to have a care in the world. It wasn’t a bad thing, that was just his personality. There was only one thing the Grundo wanted to do and Falvinx was the perfect friend to help.


Be Your Own Valentine: A Self-Care Guide



As the Month of Awakening takes Neopia by storm, filling the streets with the cloying scent of ribbon-tied Dr. Sloth Flower Bouquets and stringing frilly garlands over every available surface, the average Neopian heart finds itself in one of two camps. The “ideal” Valentine’s Day situation, according to Neopolitan Magazine and every patisserie in Neopia Central up charging for heart-shaped Faerie Eclairs, is one of alleged bliss: having a special someone to spend Valentine’s Day with. What is love if not something joyously shared with others? For Neopians in the second camp, however, the answer to that question is more complicated. Not everyone is fortunate to have a special someone on hand. Perhaps your dearest is not your nearest, and the closest you’ll be getting to them is a Weewoo-delivered letter that will hopefully arrive before the start of spring. Perhaps you’ve been unlucky in love this year despite your best efforts, and the googly-eyed Valentines Faellie Plushies in every storefront do nothing but rub salt in the wound. Perhaps you have little interest in love altogether, and aren’t quite sure what all the fuss is about. No matter what your situation is, dear reader, know this: you are worthy of love. So for those without a Valentine to cosy up to — or even for those who have one but want to focus on a different kind of love this year — we offer a third option. Valentine’s Day can be more than an excuse to buy that expensive Yooyus and Lace Perfume and eat an unholy amount of Chocolate Dipped Marshmallow Grundos. It can be an opportunity to celebrate yourself and everything that you’ve conquered over the past year. Whether you’re drawn to raucous merrymaking or restful reflection, we present to you… ten self-care strategies for being your own Valentine!

Sweet Treats: Pink Gourmet Edition!



Ahh. Can you feel it in the air? That sweet vibe of blissful happiness, deep care and waves of wanderlust? Wait, don’t tell me you forgot that Valentine’s Day is coming up. Did you? Oh. Well, don’t worry, I got you. We can save the day with a list of pink-themed sweet gourmet treats to spoil your Neopet so they don’t know you almost forgot about them. Don’t worry, don’t worry! Everything will be fine. Just follow the list and you will see their eyes light up and pure joy and happiness add to the ambience and they will be none the wiser. Hurry, we don’t have much time before the big day is here! So, let’s look at our list of things you’ll need to pick up: 1. Rose Slushie Does a slushie by any other name smell as sweet? No. Honestly, I haven’t found another slushie that is as deeply coloured red as this. Well, maybe you have, but this one is so iconic, it’s associated with the holiday that you won’t have to worry about buying the actual flower to have it wilt later. Trust me on this. It’s much better to drink it and get your money’s worth than have them rot to be thrown away later. 2. Jelly Ultranova This raspberry-flavoured jelly that’s shaped like a nova is perfect to let them know they are the star in your sky. Yes, I know it’s overdone, but come on, it’s sweet. Sweet wins the day. No, I don’t think it’s gonna be too tart, but honestly, if it is: it’s a nova. Wouldn’t you be excited if someone handed you a giant jelly and said you were their shining star? Good. You’re catching on. 3. Lemon Sherbert Jelly Beans Yes, I know it’s made up of crushed Easter neggs, but that’s not the point. No, I don’t think it's made of last year’s Easter neggs. At least I hope not. Look, it’s pink and something you can pop and snack on while they play Meepit Juice Break, ok? Trust me. When you’re in the zone and are hungry, something that’s not going to...

Which Valentine's Gift Are You?


Ah, Valentine’s Day. The season of hearts, glitter, and roses. The air is full of love, our hearts are full of joy, and- if you’re anything like me- your mind is awash with the same question you face every year: What in the world do I get them?! Gift giving is hard! You want to impress your valentine, but you don’t want to be too showy. You want to show you care, but your wallet is only so deep. Maybe they’re picky. Maybe YOU’RE picky! It’s a nearly insurmountable challenge. …right? Not so fast, dear reader! I’ve taken the time to construct what I believe is a fool-proof method for devising the best possible Valentine’s Day treat: A personality quiz! Classic, right? If it’s not a listicle, it’s a quiz. Simply fill out this quiz from the perspective of your valentine (or maybe give it to them to fill out, if you don’t mind ruining the surprise). If the gift goes unappreciated, I can guarantee your money back.* *I cannot guarantee this at all. If you’re unsatisfied with your purchase, just… do your daily quests or something. You’ll probably make your money back. Now, without further ado, I am proud to present… The 100% Accurate Lovey-Dovey Valentine’s Day Gift Quiz!

Other Stories
"The Valentine Cure" by czenko28
For my entire life of 5 days and 3 hours, I dreamed of becoming a Neopian Times reporter. I longed to write with the fancy, blue quill and to own a White Weewoo Petpet. Today, that dream was finally in reach. While I had a slight appearance and a small voice as a Blue Kacheek — and while my name as "Warble" did not instil confidence — I was eager, which was all I truly needed to earn an apprenticeship. Under the dim sun of the Month of Sleeping, I gazed up at the small studio above a grooming salon in Neopia Central. This was the studio office of one of Neopian Time's legendary reporters: Silver the Island Kougra. He had over 30 trophies for his journalism. Much of his reporting was on the horrible pound situation. Silver himself was adopted from the pound and is an advocate for adoption. But the pound had only gotten worse since Silver's reporting many years ago. Recently, Neopia had closed the pound due to its bad infrastructure. Adoptions had stopped altogether. Neopets everywhere were suffering more than ever. Yet Silver had not come back when Neopia needed him most. My plan was simple — to demand that I work for Silver as an assistant reporter. I could help bring back the hard-hitting journalism that we needed. Plus, I could sweeten the deal by making runs for Borovan at the local cafe. Behind the grooming salon, I creaked up the wooden, aged steps...

"Grey to Fuchsia" by yuumeria
RINGGG! The old alarm sounded exactly at seven o’clock, same as yesterday, same as the day before. Edgar Rutherford turned gingerly in his bed and rubbed his eyes, crusted with fatigue from another night of unsteady slumber. The Grey Moehog reached over to his nightstand, slapping his hoof against the moth-eaten wooden surface a few times before finding the alarm clock and turned it off with a grunt. Edgar Rutherford of 253 Wishing Well Drive, Neopia Central had another bland, listless day to look forward to. He ran through the day’s expected events over in his mind as he lay in his bed, squeezing out a few extra minutes of rest from a well-oiled routine established over many years. Make the bed, wash up, eat two hard-boiled eggs with a glass of milk, iron his shirt, head to work… With another grunt, Edgar got out of bed. Shouldn’t a night’s rest invigorate him? Instead, he felt like he had powered through hard labour instead. The years are creeping up on him, he thought bitterly as he rubbed the base of his neck, trying to loosen the tight muscles. Edgar had been living in this house on Wishing Well Drive for nearly twenty years. He picked this street precisely because of its hope-invoking name. Which, as time ticked on, turned out to be rather ironic. He folded up his blanket neatly, smoothed out the sheets, and headed to the bathroom. In the dimly lit mirror, he found his reflection.

"The L-Word" by quanticdreams
Kanrik rounded the corner to see Hanso frantically doing the trick of stomping on the trash in a garbage can so you can fit more stuff in it. This was unusual because it was three in the morning and they were in an alleyway. “Oi. Lockpick.” Hanso jerked slightly. It was an improvement over the last time Kanrik had startled him, when he’d jumped a foot straight up in the air. “Huh? Yeah?” “Do I want to know what you’re doing here?” He scoffed. “Take a guess.” Kanrik pinched the bridge of his nose. The Thieves’ Guild was a massive operation, and he couldn’t be everywhere at once. Delegation was a necessary gamble. The Brightvale branch in particular used to be headed up by an old Hissi who called himself Grandfather. He’d had a particular interest in training thieves from childhood. Kanrik, despite himself having been recruited as a boy, was not convinced of the efficacy of this. Sure, it had worked out for him, but he was lucky enough to develop a level head. There was no way to predict how a child’s personality would turn out. Hanso was the nightmare scenario. Fyora help them all, they’d given an impulsive, chatty, lovesick teenage boy an education in how to steal anything that wasn’t nailed down and several things that were. For a minute during the whole Faerieland debacle, Kanrik had wondered if this was his cosmic punishment for allowing Hanso to exist. But against all odds...


Chocolate Factory


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Great stories!


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The Valentine Cure
"For my entire life of 5 days and 3 hours, I dreamed of becoming a Neopian Times reporter. I longed to write with the fancy, blue quill and to own a White Weewoo Petpet. Today, that dream was..."

by czenko28

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Who said Programming was Easy?
"Garfalox stares at the screen, numbly pressing keys and watches the light bars go up and down on another screen. Sighing deeply, he checks the clock..."Collab with vicunas

by greenj12356

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Blossoms
Some fancy chocolates there.

by twillieblossom

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Fabulous Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day
Wondering the best ways to treat yourself on such a highly anticipated day as Valentine’s Day? Well, follow me through this list of fabulous ways to celebrate.

by candylandtheonomy

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A Dangerous Time of Year
Current wait time at the Healing Springs: 5 hours

by mix_star



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