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Illusen’s Best and Worst Morsels

by spukl1


Good day Neopia! This is Charles the Chocolate Chia, Neopia’s top food critic here on the scene to give you quite the exclusive. The sun is shining, the grass is greener and it is my favourite faerie’s celebration day… that is right it is Illusen Day! To honour her in the only way I know how, I have decided to travel far and wide – Faerieland, Meridell, Neopia Central and many lands in between to try out all the tasty morsels that are attributed to the wonderful Earth Faerie… our girly Illusen. From all-natural health tonics to green food-dye-filled cupcakes, there is quite a wide spread of fares created in her honour. Now I will take it from the top all the way to the bitter bottom with my evaluation of the best and worst tasting Illusen morsels.

     Best Illusen Morsels:

     1. Illusens Family Recipe Cake . This should come as no surprise to any fans of the Earth Faerie, as it is a tasty and treasured recipe from Illusen’s own family in Meridell. A mix of vanilla, cinnamon with a rich chocolate base, this cake is my absolute favourite when it comes to the sweet side of Illusen’s honoured foods. Since it is a secret family recipe, who knows what wonders truly lie inside, but it is DELICIOUS – light and syrupy without being overbearing! This cake is a little on the pricey side since it is made fresh by the family’s personal chef, but the experience is worth every Neopoint.

     2. Illusen Tea . This tea has the aroma of a forest, the taste of an acorn and the feeling of a warm hug. These senses remind me of Illusen with every sip, bringing a smile to my face. Illusen Tea is sold at the Coffee Cave in Neopia Central but nonetheless they undoubtedly got their ingredients right as it exudes the feelings of being at Illusen’s Glade deep in the Meridell forest. At a reasonable price point this tea tops my list of favourites.

     3. Illusen Crepe . Next up on my favourites list is the decadent Illusen Crepe. I can never resist a crepe but this one is especially unique. This crepe has a Borovan base smothered in a tangy leaf paste from Illusen’s own garden. This earthy mix may not seem like it would work, but it is an enchantment to my taste buds. I love that the Neopian Fresh Foods chef was not afraid to push the boundary and experiment with this classic dessert. It is distinctive, earthy and quintessentially Illusen – a lovely tribute.

     4. Illusen Smoothie . I am not much of a health-food fiend but the Illusen Smoothie is the exception. This smoothie is as refreshing as a cool forest breeze with a mix of earthy flavours specially made by Illusen herself. Her Earth Faerie magic must infuse this smoothie because it is honeyed, tangy and a little salty… this flavour blasted combination exceeds any other smoothie I have ever had. A+ to Illusen (as always).

     5. Illusen Acorn . This list would not be complete without the classic Illusen Acorn. This acorn is a symbol of Illusen herself as it is only grown in her Glade. She has younger Earth Faeries harvest these protein rich tidbits once a year to be sold exclusively in Faerieland. Luckily, there are plenty of trees to go around to make the acorn supply last. The Illusen Acorns are the perfect snack food: healthy and delectable with a distinctly floral taste. I am thankful to Illusen for sharing!

     Next up are the worst Illusen-inspired morsels and you may be surprised to see some popular fares…

     Worst Illusen Morsels:

     1. Illusens Cream Cookie . First up on the worst tasting Illusen-inspired treats is this iconic cookie, the Illusens Cream Cookie. I do not know a single Neopian that has not tasted these cookies or does not have one stored away in their Safety Deposit Box. Illusen hands them out to everyone on their first quest and while it is a rite-of-passage to receive them, you can absolutely skip tasting them. Yes, Illusen makes them herself but she bakes them in large batches with little care – she knows the minty fresh color will excite young Neopians and entice them into more quests. However, if you have ever bit into one of these then you know… they are stale, they crumble into nothing and the icing is full of synthetic ingredients (very unlike the Illusen, I know). Also, I must mention that it gives my Quiggle friends the Neezles… these cookies are a menace to our society! Let’s keep the Illusens Cream Cookie away from our stomachs and keep them as what they should be: a symbol of thanks from our darling Illusen.

     2. Illusen Jelly Beans . Illusen Jelly Beans are another tribute food that should stay strictly as décor. For many years Neopians had forgotten all about this nasty candy, but they recently had a resurgence in popularity. When Baby Neopets see them at the store, they beg their parents to buy them the sparkling, colorful candies. If you bite into these Jelly Beans then you will realize they are bitter rather than sweet and a little too earthy for a dessert. Do not waste your Neopoints on this jar.

     3. Illusen Day Hot Dog . *Sigh* I do love a hot dog and I do love Illusen but unfortunately, I did not love this. The Illusen Day Hot Dog is the biggest let down of my food tour as it looks delicious and hot dogs rarely fail to make me satisfied but it was chewy and tasteless. There is just something about 100% vegetarian hot dogs that never quite works. The green coloring is actually relish but it does not taste fresh and the brown sections are just burnt pieces. It is not a well-cooked or well-tasting food.

     4. Illusen Day Jelly . I apologize for throwing shade at this specific cuisine which is one of the first food tributes to Illusen… but we all need to admit that it is bad. I appreciate the cooks in Meridell taking a Neopian classic (jelly) and making sure that Illusen had one of her own but with flavours of chocolate and mint, it does not even exude the essence of the Earth Faerie. Yes, it is edible but not recommended by moi .

     5. Illusen Biscotti . I know, I know this is a popular one but it just missed the mark for me. It is a crispy bread with herbs and spices baked in, which sounds delightful, but it was surprisingly bland. Of course, there is a crisp crumble, but unlike the Illusen Tea where the herbs and spices have their moments shine, the Illusen Biscotti tastes mostly like sour bread. A Bakery fail, in my professional opinion.

     That is a wrap from me on this lovely holiday…go enjoy the great outdoors! Let me know if there are any Illusen food tributes that you love (or hate) that did not make my list. I especially want to hear your thoughts on the Illusens Cream Cookie! May you all have a happy, green Illusen Day and do not forget to show her you care by heading over to Illusen’s Glade to do some questing. Until next time my friends.

     May the taste of Neopia be with all of you.

     Signing off,

     Charles the Chocolate Chia

     *Sponsored by Meri Acres Farm – return to your roots*

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