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Some of Queen Fyora’s Fabulous Rarities

by _brainchild_


---Starring Chessangie the Royalgirl Draik, Chessella the Pastel Draik, Lerlifia the (mischievous) Chocolate Draik, Walda the Baby Kacheek, and Christine, their owner!---

      Christine: Welcome! Most Neopians have been to the Hidden Tower, right? Even if you’re not going to buy anything, it’s fun to just look around.

     Angie: I’ve been there. That’s where I got the paint brush to paint myself Royal!

     Walda: I don’t go there very often because a lot of the weapons sold there can be found for better prices on the Trading Post.

     Christine: Well, today, in honour of the Fyora edition of the Neopian Times, we’ll be examining some of the most unique retired Hidden Tower items. These are things you can’t buy there anymore; they can only be bought from other Neopians for higher prices than what Fyora used to charge---

     Walda: THAT’S LAME!

     Lerli: It’s supply and demand, you dummy. Basic economics. When the supply goes down because Fyora stops selling something, the price goes up.

     Christine: Lerli, please be nice. Anyway, please bear in mind that we are covering the most interesting and unusual items, not necessarily the ones that are best in battle. Without further ado, here are the items:

      ---Fake von Roo Fangs---


      Christine: Enter the first of the TROLL items! These fangs can steal levels from your opponent.

     Lerli: ---cackles--- Now, this is MY kind of item!

     Angie: Yeah, apparently there is a 2 percent chance of stealing a level with each hit, and, once a level is stolen, there is a 25 percent chance that the fangs will break permanently.

     Lerli: ---frowns--- Not worth the price tag, then.

     Christine: If you can even find one for sale. If stealing worked in the Battledome, you could steal it from your opponent, and it wouldn’t break afterward, but that’s not an option right now, unfortunately.

     Walda: Stealing levels is wrong! There’s no substitute for hard work to gain stats.

      ---Eraser of the Dark Faerie---


      Christine: This item was in the Hidden Tower for only ONE DAY. Queen Fyora removed it because it was just TOO MEAN.

     Angie: Well, what does it do?

     Christine: When used, it PERMANENTLY deletes one item from your opponent’s set of weapons. That’s right---it’s gone, and they have to buy another one. However, the eraser is a single-use item, meaning that it, too, will also vanish when used.

     Lerli: Bahahahaha! I love it!

     Walda: ---shakes head--- You’re right. That is WAY TOO MEAN. Imagine losing a 550 million Neopoint Moehog Skull to this!

     Angie: Anyone who uses the eraser would really have to be holding some sort of grudge against their opponent.

     Christine: True. Fortunately, there are very few erasers left because they could only be bought for one day. Thus, they are far too expensive to use, and are much better-suited for galleries.

     Lerli: Awww... I wanna prank somebody!

     Walda: There are much more affordable (and less mean) troll items out there.

      --Chia Flour---


      Christine: Behold, the ultimate troll weapon. When used, it is guaranteed to transform the opponent into a Yellow Chia. They will stay that way even after the battle has ended.

     Angie: Ick... But then again, I could just buy another Pirate Draik Morphing Potion and Royal Paint Brush to change myself back, right?

     Lerli: Yeah, YOU could, but an unconverted pet wouldn’t be able to do that.

     Angie: Wow... OUCH!!!

     Walda: That is waaaayyyy too mean!

     Angie: Whoever uses this to wreck a UC Neopet is a nasty grinch that will likely end up BLOCKED by the victim.

     Lerli: I’d laugh if I saw it happen to someone else, but if someone threw that stuff at ME, well... they had better make a RUN for it!

      ---Tornado Ring---


      Christine: Like the Shield of Faerieland (which is currently buyable in the Hidden Tower), this ring is a full air blocker. However, it would also have a 4 percent chance of stealing an opponent’s weapon with each use... if stealing functioned properly.

     Walda: So why wouldn’t I just buy the Shield of Faerieland?

     Christine: Right now, you might as well. However, I’m here to point out that the Tornado Ring is particularly interesting and unique because it’s intended to be able to steal multiple items from an opponent in a single battle, which is unusual.

     Lerli: Win by stealing your opponent’s whole set! I love it! Then they’ll have nothing to fight with besides their bare fists.

     Angie: Too bad it isn’t working right now...

     Walda: Until this is corrected, I’ll be using a Shield of Faerieland to block air. It’s MUCH prettier!

      ---Aisha Myriad---


      Christine: The Aisha Myriad has an interesting backstory; you can read all about it here:


      Walda: Meh... Reading is BOOOORRRRIIIINNNNGGGG!!!

     Lerli: I’m not much of a reader, either.

     Angie: Maybe later...

     Christine: Anyway, when used in battle, the Aisha Myriad will transform into a random, non-retired Hidden Tower item worth 1 million Neopoints or more for the remainder of the fight.

     Angie: Cool idea... Buy one and try them all!

     Lerli: Except that the price for the Aisha Myriad is very high... It kinda defeats the purpose of being frugal.

     Angie: Oh... I guess I won’t be buying one, then.

     Walda: I know, right?! SO LAME!!!

     Angie: If you already have one, it could be considered a fun novelty item...

     Lerli: Well, I don’t!

     Christine: At any rate, it would look cool in a space- or Aisha-themed gallery!


      Christine: So, which item was everyone’s favourite?

     Lerli: The Eraser of the Dark Faerie... TROLOLOLOLOL!!!

     Walda: Nooooppppeeee... Too mean! You shouldn’t be pranking people anyway.

     Christine: Walda, what was your favourite item?

     Walda: None of them, since I can’t just walk into the Hidden Tower and buy them. Get me a Shield of Faerieland instead!

     Angie: Hey, you can still buy THAT from Fyora!

     Walda: I know, and it’s so gorgeous, unlike that ugly ring!

     Angie: Anyway, my favourite of the five items mentioned is the Aisha Myriad. It has an interesting concept. I just wish it wasn’t so scarce...

     Christine: At any rate, please don’t be a mean grinch and use a Chia Flour on someone’s Tier 10 UC. Until next time, dear readers!

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