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by parody_ham


     Valenristmaween is the newest holiday to hit Neopia. No longer will you need to worry about buying candy for three holidays when one mega holiday will more than suffice. What is Valenristmaween, you may ask? A wonderful question! It combines all the holly, jolly joy of the holidays, the sweet feelings of Valentine’s Day, and the fright of Halloween into one day. Convenient, no?

     How did this happen?

     There is some speculation, but what it ultimately comes down to is this: candy companies. Yes, the confectionary connoisseurs wanted to pool their time and resources into a single holiday. That way, a huge influx of money comes in all at once, enough to fuel their business for the rest of the year.

     What sorts of candies can I buy on Valenristmaween?

     That depends on the sorts of candies you (and your sweetheart) enjoy. Do they like pastel hearts with sincere messages like “you’re my pal,” “holly jolly feelings,” “merry scare-mas,” “I love scary holiday films,” “the Meepits strike at midnight,” “braaaaaaaaains,” or “this is an orange heart?” Then, look no further than the message hearts that will fill the shelves this time of year. Combining all the fun of surprising messages with the sweet, powdery goodness of mixed assorted candies, this is sure to thrill. They come in flavours as varied as chocolate, candy corn, blood orange, candy floss, mummy wrap, candy cane, or the ghost of Christmas past. Other fun options include festive gummy witch hats (with hearts in the brim!) Orange, black, and pink candy canes. Liquorice holly-adorned bats, or chocolate hearts… that look like real. And beat.

     All romantic options, we assure you.

     How should I decorate my home?

     Every home needs at least one holly heart with ghosts in their front window, preferably one that makes sound effects. Like jingle bells—everyone likes jingle bells! Make sure to add garlands with spooky, merry, and lovely décor so that your friends and neighbours can spot your holiday spirit a mile away. A Holiday Cauldron adds to the joy! Mix paper hearts, almost gummi rats, and gingerbread (with a little touch of nutmeg) for a potpourri to fill your house with all the smells that this holiday brings. Some Neopians have a flag outside their porch. One of the most popular designs is Raindorf-shaped with a gothic paint job and a heart in each hoof. Isn’t that adorable? D’aww.

     What can you do on Valenristmaween?

     Or the better question: what can’t you do? Want to wear a spooky mask and watch a wholesome holiday film? We got you covered. Contemplate Wraithland in an adorable Santa costume? Totally doable. Go mud-sleigh-riding through the thawed back trails of a local park (it is early spring, after all). Eat a bowl of winged-chestnuts roasted on an open fire… There are so many things to do on this joyous occasion. Here are some of the more famous events:

     Neopia Central Happy Hayride through a Romantic (but Festively Decorated) Graveyard. Imagine it now: a rolling adventure through a graveyard filled with holly wreaths, balsam blankets, and shimmering gold garlands strung playfully between headstones. A violin sweetly playing, “Spooky Scary Skeletons” while a gentle April breeze tickles your and your partner’s noses. One, wearing a full Meepit onesie, the other, an Altador Cup player. From which team, you ask? All of them. At once.

     Trick-or-Wassailing: this fun and festive event has children (of all ages) running from door to door and asking for candy or songs. Many Neopians offer cups of fruit punch to strangers, and for each house you visit, it is customary to write short, one-sentence Valentines to stick into their mailboxes. Typical messages include, “thanks for the grub!” “You’re a good pal!” “Chet Flash wuz here!” And “the Meepit uprising is imminent!”

     Garland-making: this relaxing activity is fun for all ages. All you need is some thread and ingredients to string together and drape over your holiday heart bush. Down in Brightvale, students are often seen stringing together hearts, ghosts, stars, and the occasional skull using a long length of thread. Some particularly silly ones have clovers and neggs, too.

     Terror Mountain costume contest: this merry affair pits the best amateur, semi-professional, and professional costume designers into a high-stakes contest that attracts Neopians from around the world. The winner must incorporate elements from all three holidays in a unique and creative way. Last year’s grand champion was a festive Mr. Coconut costume complete with tinsel, portable fog machines, and a flashing neon sign that says, “GOOD NIGHT.” According to Lena, our local journalist for “The Coconut” (she speaks evil coconut don’t ‘cha know) this can be translated to, “’Howliday’ greetings and Haunted Valentine’s Day!”

     The Couples’ Scare-a-Thon: famous for frightening the Meepits out of the young and old, this attraction in the Haunted Woods consists of a two-mile-long trek through a totally safe (we have to put this here for insurance reasons) part of the forest that definitely doesn’t have ghosts, Werelupes, and megalomaniacal, moustached Chias. Costumed (or mostly, anyway) actors jump out at you. Some throw paper hearts, while others are known to toss hand-crafted, wooden dala Uni. If you can avoid a concussion, this lovely trinket can be yours to keep.

     What should I wear?

     Ultimately, that is all up to the individual, but here are two of the most popular combinations:

     “A Matter of the Heart”

     The Spooky Skull mask adds a layer of scary mystique that is sure to frighten your Valentine.


     This pairs up beautifully with the Festive Holly Princess Dress—it really brings out the eyes.


     And with this lovely Valentine’s staff, you’re sure to turn heads (in cheer or fear, we haven’t a clue).


     “Trick-or-Treat Sweet Holiday Feat”


     If you’re going for the more traditional look, why not try this festively romantic outfit?


With a holly-filled garland wig that brings out the festive spirit for all who see it, this is a must-have.


     The Prissy Miss Valentine’s Dress is the star attraction here with flowing fabric, cute ruffles, and little hearts to perfectly accent the outfit.


     Proving that not all Halloween items need to be scary, the Halloween Sweets Staff adds a layer of cuteness that can’t be denied. And if you’re hungry, it doubles as a snack for you and your partner!


     Conclusions on a Unique Holiday

     Valenristmaween only comes once a year on April 1st! It’s a special day filled with joviality, zaniness, and just a little bit of mischief. Each time this magical holiday comes around, make sure to spend it with your loved ones: your friends, family, and that random guy you just met at a Meridellian Tavern. Frank or something? He made good cupcakes. Anyway, make sure to fill your days with fear, cheer, and lots of happy feelings to last you for the whole year through.

     From our neo-family to yours, have a Scary-Merry-Happy Holiday!


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