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More Neopian Book Reviews


by qazx301

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Neopia is full of wonderful books. I recently wrote an article describing several of these classics, but there were too many for one article. There are funny books, silly books, and books that no one understands. Put on your reading glasses and grab your pet, because it’s time for more Neopian book reviews!

My First Book: A good place to start this article.

Gourmet Cooking For Your Pet: My Kougra kept dropping this book into my lap. Apparently, she thinks I can’t cook.

How to Ride a Bike: A Neopian best seller despite the fact most Neopets can’t ride bikes.

Eyrie Diary: The story of Myrie, the Eyrie, who rhymies all the timies.

Choosing Kacheeks: Blue or red? Yellow or green? Oh, the agony! Which Kacheek?

The Eye of the Quiggle: I assume it's good. I was so freaked out by the GIANT EYE on the cover I didn’t read it.

Care of Chias: How to fry, bake, and season your Chia to perfection. No, really, it’s good for their skin. This book was written by bestselling author, Ima Lupe.

Lenny Fitness: Do those two words belong on the cover of the same book?

Lenny Microbiology: Now THAT’S more like it!

The Chomby Fight: This is the story of how two Chombies try to have a fight. Sure, it’s a story of how peace was achieved between the Chombies, but really, they only gave up because their arms are too short to cause any damage.

Lenny Magic: Unfortunately, it doesn’t tell you how to make the LENNY disappear.

The Uni Trilogy: Doesn’t TNT know that a trilogy has three books?

Techo Guide to Weapons: If the Techo holding a toilet plunger on the cover is any indication of the weapons they use, don’t waste your NP.

Howling For Fun: This book has been banned by the Neopian Be Quiet Foundation.

JubJub Journal: Day one-Have decided to quit journaling due to fact it’s very hard to write when you don’t have hands.

Teeth Sharpening Techniques: To get the perfect shine, the book advises placing Teeth Sharpening Techniques in your mouth and chomping down hard.

Scorchio Defence: How properly to crawl into a fetal position after getting beaten up by Punchbag Bob.

Kreludan Bed Time Stories: And then, the Grundo calculated the quadratic formula with such speed, he won the heart of the princess, and they lived happily ever after.

Disco Moehog Dancing: Another one for the Gallery of Evil.

Stampede Tips: Tip 237- Never bring a Tigersquash Smoothie to a stampede.

Cybunny Soap Opera: This is a story of friendship, fun, and evil Sloth Clones.

Neopian Times Issue 3: Without a doubt, this is the finest book ever published.

Looking Like A Moehog: A book that will teach your pet not only how to look like a Moehog, but how to turn blue fur orange.

Qasalan Laws: This scroll is filled with ancient wisdom and justice. Unfortunately, it flew away when I tried to open it, so that might be a guess.

Tyragh the Terrible: This is the autobiography of the Buzz who made Neopia tremble, until he was accidentally stepped on by his editor.

A Maraquan Menu: The thing you get at Kelp, where you can spend millions of Neopoints to feed your pet just as much as a 1/3 Bacon Omelette can.

Speak Tyrannian: Ug! Ugga! Ug-ugga-ug. Ug-ug-ugga!

Altadorian Defences: Learn the secrets of Altador’s walls, which are useless now that everyone can learn them.

Top Tuskaninnys: A book so big and important, only a small fraction of the title fits on the cover.

Battledome Digest: After reading this fascinating periodical, you can roll it up and equip your pet with it.

How to Fold Paper to Make It Look Like Stuff: This book was given its unique title because no one in Neopia knows what ‘origami’ is.

Where's My Mummy: A story about a baby Acara who explored the Lost Desert.

Lupe Meat Dishes: Take some water, a pie crust, three eggs, and a fresh Chia...

Kiko Treasure Island: Once upon a time, fearsome Kiko pirates buried their legs on a deserted island...

Cooking With Petpets: Yes, this book was written by a Skeith. Whatever gave it away?

Beginners Curses: Learn how to curse away apostrophes from titles of books. One of TNT’s favorites!

Lenny Adventures: This book tells the tale of how a Lenny decided to not do anything dorky for an entire day. He failed miserably.

The Great Cybunny Theft: This is the story of how Cybunnies became limited edition pets after someone on TNT stole all the Cybunnies. Can anyone guess who did it?

Kougra Quotes: My Kougra kept making me read this.

Kreludan Physics: If 2X + (13%\3) = 3.8 *9-x, is this book boring or just plain weird?

Elephante Fossils: TNT always says Neopets can’t die. So are the fossils just really, really old Elephantes whose flesh has dropped of after being encased in stone for a thousand years?

My Life As A Sponge: A young Moehog was zapped by the Lab Ray, turned into a Sponge pet, and started a successful Neohome cleaning service.

Scroll of Benevolence: I don’t know about you, but this one’s gotta be evil.

Concert Hall Pictures: These stone tablets are chiseled with some of the finest concert pictures in musical history and provide a compelling argument for why the concert hall should be moved from Tyrannia.

Standard Meridell Farmers Contract: Peasants will farm the land, work dawn to dusk, give all their produce to the king, nearly starve in winter while the king eats the food they worked all summer to grow, and in return, they get the satisfaction of a job well done and the knowledge their king is grateful for their efforts.

Adventure Bound Xweetok: Today was no ordinary day for this young Neopian. Today, Toby the Xweetok would, at long last, catch his own tail!

Uni-versity: It’s someplace I’d like to send my Neopet, but she doesn’t have a Neoschool education because TNT still hasn’t made opportunities for Neoeducation!

Advanced NeoHTML: This book is for nerdy persons only. Anyone with a good reputation may wish to leave the room.

Your Semidemiquaver & You: What the heck are Semidemiquaver (The word is actually demisemiquaver, and it is a thirty second note in music. Oops, there goes my inner Lenny again!)?

There Are Stars Up There And Stuff: Gasp! Amazing! Why, I had no idea! Stars in the sky? Genius, absolute genius!

Skip: What I want to do to the rest of this article. Stupid 1000 word minimum!

Not-So-Disgusting Dung Uses: Well, it can be used to repair dung furniture, dung plumbing, and fertilize a neogarden. It can even be used in construction, something the Neopian Hospital does not encourage.

Jelly World Travel Brochure: This review does not exist.

Cliffhanger Puzzles: Th_s _oo_ wa_ ve_y f_nn_. Eve_yo_e in _eop_a sho_ld h_v_ a co_y!

Fun Games: Anything that earns me Neopoints.

 
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