Protecting Yourself From the MSPP Plushie
So, you’re frustrated. No matter how hard you try, some how the other team keeps scoring on you! Well, in this article I will teach you the fine points of Yooyuball---Wait a second... wrong article! *rips paper in half*
So, your owner just spent 10 million neopoints on the MSPP plushie, assuring you that all those silly tales of pets who mysteriously disappear the night after they bought it are just urban legends, and that you’ll have LOADS of fun with your new “buddy”. LIES!!! All of it lies! The MSPP plushie is a very dangerous and evil thing that is just waiting for the perfect opportunity to show its true colors. But have no fear! This article will arm you with knowledge and truth about the true nature of the MSPP plushie and its evil intent.
To begin with, the most important, irreplaceable, must know information you will learn in this article are as follows: All MSPPs, plushie and non-plushie alike, despise carrots. The sight of carrots, the smell of carrots, even the thought of carrots gives them the heebie-jeebies!
So, with this in mind, empty your Greedy Kadoatie Piggy Bank and go buy all the carrot themed items you can lay your paws (or fins, hoofs, wings, and in the case of JubJubs, feet) on. Some must-haves are Carved Carrot Helmet, Creamy Carrot Soup, and Carrot Chia Costume. Next, hide all your carrot items somewhere, like your sock drawer or in your Turdle’s shell or something. Take care not to let the MSPP plushie see the items, for even though he looks dormant, secretly he is plotting your downfall.
After this is done, you must create allies. The MSPP plushie is a formidable foe and will require more than one neopet. Anybody can be your ally; your petpet (Rocks won’t be very helpful in this situation) or your brothers and sisters. Inform them of the evil that is lurking in your house and how you must all band together to drive it out (if all else fails, bribe them with a piece of Uni Carrot Cake). Make sure to show them this article so they don’t think you’ve gone crazy.
That night, offer to make dinner for your family. Along with scoring BIG points with your owner, you will also be able to make sure that every single thing you eat that night will have carrots as the main ingredient. Here are a couple menu ideas:
Entrée; Carrot on a Stick
Salad; Carrot Wrap
Main Course; Pea and Carrot-Stuffed Turkey
Soup; Creamy Carrot Soup
Dessert; Lenny Day Carrot Cake
Drink; Carrot and Strawberry Blend
Or here is a more casual dinner:
Entrée; Freshly Tinned Carrots
Salad; Triple Carrot Sandwich
Main course; Carrot Stuffed Jacket Potato
Soup; Creamy Carrot Soup
Dessert; Carrot Cupcake
Drink; Carrot Fizz Achyfi
Whatever you make for dinner, when you go to bed, you and your soldiers must reek of carrots! A MSPP plushie won’t dare come within 900 feet of you, but just to be sure... Hang a few Rotten Carrots around your room, tuck a Cybunny Carrot Cookie under your pillow, put a slice of Carrot Pie by your bed for a midnight snack, and for good measure, place Picking the Perfect Carrot on your desk in plain sight. Now put on your Carrot Chia Costume and Carved Carrot Helmet. Your “army” should also be attired as so. Crawl into bed and pretend to fall asleep. Now you and your comrades must wait. And wait. (This part will require a lot of patience). And keep waiting until you see the glowing red eyes of the MSPP plushie, ready to strike.
Wait!!! I thought that the MSPP plushie wouldn’t come within 900 feet of me! Well... yes, but plushies have horrible sense of smell, so it might take awhile for him to smell you.
Then you lied!!
OK, I lied, but a MSPP plushie is right next to you, so suck it up and keep reading!
As I was saying... This is where things start to get serious. Wake up your snoozing soldiers and attack!! Pelt him with Triple Carrot Sandwiches, smother him with Extra Carroty Cake, bombard him with Chilled Carrots, and shower Mega Carrot Muffins on him! If he tries to attack, fend him off with a sharpened carrot. And while the battle rages on, remember: Don’t scream for your owner! The MSPP plushie will immediately drop to the floor and act like a normal plushie and your owner will wonder what the heck is going on, and will be very, very, VERY mad.
If all goes well, the MSPP plushie will soon be overwhelmed by all the carrot-ness and will run in panic from your neohome, never to be seen again.
Congratulations!!!! You and your “army” have achieved victory! Celebrate with pieces of Strawberry Carrot Cake for all! Now would be a good time to clean up the mess you’ve made, take off your costume, and turn in for a well deserved sleep.
But what happens if he *gulp* succeeds in capturing you?
That will be very grave indeed. He will take you away to an underground fortress and will make you work alongside other unfortunate pets, making fishing junk. A very grim fate.
But how do YOU know that?
...None of your business...
The next morning, your owner will probably be wondering what happened to your 10 million neopoint plushie. Some excellent excuses are:
What MSPP plushie?
The Puppyblew ate it.
Ohhh... I lent it to Susan, who lent it to Mike, who lent it to Becky’s older brother, who lent it to Clara’s mom, who lent it to Brice’s cousin.
Do you hear the doorbell? Better go get that!
So even if you do get grounded, take joy in the fact that you have rid Neopia of an evil plushie.
*NOTE* Soon after submitting this article, Fluffy645385 mysteriously disappeared while sleeping in her neohome sometime around 11:11 pm on June 30th. Investigators are searching feverishly for her, but to no avail. The only clue found was a note that read:
Bring me the carrots!! Not much time...