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Random Contest Winners!

Every week or so we have a new Random Contest. The rules and events vary from competition to competition. Below are the winners from the last contest. If you'd like to enter the current contest, wander on over to the Random Contest submission form and have a look at what the currently silly task is. If you think you're up for it, give it a shot and submit your entry.


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Contest:
Short Story Jamboree


Sloth Hair Tips
by dramaprincessstar

So, you want to look as hip, suave, and admirably demonic as the honorable Dr. Frank Sloth, do you? What, do you think those three picturesque cowlicks come out of thin air? Goodness, no! Evil, YES! Dr. Sloth’s hair regime is so confidential to his secret headquarters that “Sloth Hair Tips” could only publish this high-quality substitute. Before you can say “enslave those Grundos,” you will be Sloth-ified to perfection!

1. To dye your hair a ravishingly green hue, you will need to use the appropriate supplies. First, take a shuttle over to Grundo’s Café and purchase a few green tea capsules. Mash these beauties into one sparkling container of green mouth wash, which can be found at the Grooming Parlour. Grab a cup-o-slime too; this is essential for the mixture to reach the right texture and Sloth-level quality. What? We never said it would smell good! Shake well and apply. If you feel anything from a slight tingling to an excruciating pain, be assured that this is, uh, normal.

2. Apply hair-gel and smooth out with your pink sparkly brush. The subtle touch of pink glitter is actually one of Dr. Sloth’s favorite parts of this treatment! Whoops, did we let that slip? Heh… Anyway, separate your hair into three parts very carefully, and we'll move on to the next step.

3. Don your Proto-force 5000 Helmet and let stand for forty-five minutes or until you smell burning. (You can return that helmet to the battledome after you’re done.)

Ta-da! Now you have been officially Sloth-ified. Soon you will have droves of servile Grundos groveling at your feet! Don’t forget to pick up “Rules to Rule By,” the essential guide for to-be, would-be, and wannabe leaders!

DISCLAIMER: The author, editors, publishers, and distributors of “Sloth Hair Tips” are not responsible for any hair loss, dizziness, nausea, or sudden bursts of power-hungriness as a result of this instructional book. Use at your own risk!




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