teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 197,025,990 Issue: 922 | 4th day of Celebrating, Y22
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Your questions answered!

Read the answers to the most commonly asked Neopets questions this week in the Editorial section. Each week the most popular questions will be answered by one of the creators of Neopets, so keep checking back to stay updated.

Quote of the Week

the Snowager retreated into his cave, seeking the depths where some cooler air remained, and let the darkness take him. Hot. So hot. He dreamed again, but this time of volcanoes, lava slurping greedily at his tail, burning his scales, ash stinging his eyes. Or was he in the cooking pot on Mystery Island, with Jhuidah using him as a starting point for a recipe, boiling water bubbling around him as she tossed ingredient after ingredient on top of him, followed by a sprinkle of salt and a dusting of pepper? Somewhere lay ice fields and glaciers, a haven of cold, but he'd lost his way in the clouds of steam. Despairing, desolate, he opened his eyes, forcing his nightmares away.

Failing Foods of Brightvale University

Sometimes the Brightvale University dining hall gets things right. They create bizarre food combinations that have wide appeal on campus. Other foods have cult appeal. Yet many of their concoctions have students running for the nearest market off-campus, loudly proclaiming that Cosmic Corp is feeding the student body their rejected ideas at a discounted price. But whatever the reason is, not every food at the college is a winner. Before you continue, I will state once again: you have been warned. Proceed with caution (and an empty stomach). I present for you a top 10 list of BVU foods that receive a failing grade.

A Sonnet of Samrin: Extreme Herder

A Sonnet of Samrin: And More Relatable Extreme Herder Related Information Samrin, swiftly stows babaa on thy brow, Balthazar flouncing, "I am eating now." Witless noil hastens around the corner, Nearing the ruffian to Samrin's horror. The cosy paddock of the beaten path, Holds bonus point babaa, to the lupe's wrath. Orange speed orb, Samrin's quick java to go, Hastens him to the task he undergoes. Snatching the noil with beads of well-earned sweat, Samrin charges away from the vile threat. Balthazar alters course with a loud growl, Hunger patent and spittle on his jowl. Angelpuss in sight, the lupe gnashes teeth...

Cosying this Winter with the Xweetoks

It’s the last few days of the Month of Storing. We cuddled up in fluffy sweaters and slippers, held cups of warm borovan in our hands as we sat by the window watching the snowflakes fall into oblivion. My mind drifted to the happenings of the day before and I drew a faint smile. My pets and I had a great time at the Christmas market in Terror Mountain – playing in real houses made of gingerbread, enjoying chocolate fondue dipping stations and just soaking in the festive atmosphere, snagging some festive trinkets along the way.

Other Stories
"The Endless Night" by ichiruto0
King Altador was already awake when he heard the resounding jingle of the Altadorian Palace’s bells. He gently got up from his wooden bed and opened the windows of his chambers. The affable breeze promptly touched his face, and something different could be noticed about the view. “Am I sleeping yet?”, the King thought. He rubbed his eyes for a few seconds and then looked again. “What is happening right now?”, the King pondered. King Altador dressed hastily and left the Palace, expecting to see more clearly what was going on. Despite the fact it was already 6 AM, the altadorian skies were completely black. In fact, the sky was not only utterly dark, but it had lots of greyish and stormy clouds on it.

"Give and Take" by jaydeed
High in the mountains, safe in his cave, the Snowager stirred restlessly on his bed of treasure, waking from a deep sleep. What had disturbed him? Naughty Neopians sneaking in to steal his precious items? He'd blast them! They woke him constantly, tiptoeing or flying in, snatching neggs, books, even weapons from the vast hoard he'd worked so hard to collect. Why just yesterday he'd blasted the same Bruce twice! No respect for him at all. He needed to get tougher with them. Maybe set up better defences. Icicles that fall on command, or possibly a device to hurl snowballs at any intruders. Maybe Donny could take a break from mending toys and build him something. Grumpy old so-and-so though…

"An Eternal Empire" by alli_draggy
Empress Eleapha of Geraptiku had risen to her position after the Council of Elders had been deposed in a massive riot 10 years prior. The head of the Council, King Zulakaea, had appointed her as his heir, and his last act as King was to officially disband the Council, elevating her to her current place. The idea of absolute power scared her, but she knew she couldn’t bring back the Council: the people had rioted specifically because they found the parliamentary system inefficient. But she had appointed Lura, her trusted advisor, who had quickly risen in social standing in Geraptiku through sheer charisma after being banished from Wanalea. In hopes of being more approachable...

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Great stories!


Something Has Happened!
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by keoshky


Give and Take
The snowager finds himself in an unusual predicament...

by jaydeed


A New Way to Play Kass Basher
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BLACKOUT with a Vengeance - Part 8
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The Case of the Missing Acara
Ada decides to conduct a stakeout... Also by acara_575 and silakbo

by sunbathr

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