 The Kadoatery: A Draik’s Worst Nightmare
by gizmoweis2
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September the 10th, 2004, was a sad, sad day for Draiks everywhere. It was the
day The Kadoatery was released for Neopians everywhere.
Most Neopians do not understand the real meaning of The Kadoatery, so we have
come up with an exclusive interview with a blue Draik (whose name we will not
reveal), about the happenings in the Kadoatery.
Us: “What exactly is so bad about The Kadoatery?”
Our source, the Blue Draik: “Well, out of sixteen Kadoaties, there are almost
always ten Kadoaties who want Blue Draik Eggs! I mean, what do they have against
us? They want to eat our next generation!”
Us: “Well, what do you have to say about the Mint Kyrii Ice Creams? They appear
commonly too.”
Blue Draik: “Yes, but the ice creams get fed usually within one week! The Blue
Draik Eggs stay there and keep multiplying because more and more Kadoaties get
the craving for little Draik Eggs!”
Us: “But both items are fairly expensive and hard to get a hold of, so they’re
rarely fed. What do you have to say about that?”
Blue Draik: “Blue Draik Eggs are rare, but so are Draiks! Out of the total
Neopet population, only .01 percent are Draiks! Even though the Blue Draik Eggs
are rare, some Neopians who regularly feed at The Kadoatery will do ANYTHING
to get their selfish little hands on a Blue Draik Egg so they can feed it to
a certain Kadoatie. Most who feed Blue Draik Eggs feed it to their 1st Kadoatie,
75th Kadoatie, 100th Kadoatie, etc. It’s disgusting, if you ask me.”
Us: “What is the significance of the 75th and 100th feed?”
Blue Draik: “Well, most Neopians who feed Kadoaties are doing it just to get
the avatar. It is said that if you feed 75 Kadoaties you will get this hideous
pink icon to use while you are chatting through Neomail, NeoBoards, or at the
Guild Message Boards. It also appears if someone searches you with the Search
Engine and you are using it as your active avatar. Most avatar collectors feed
75 Kadoaties and stop. Other Neopians keep feeding Kadoaties because they get
addicted or they have a certain goal of Kadoaties to feed. But seriously, who
could get addicted to feeding these hungry, little, evil Petpets? Anyone who
feeds over 75 Kadoaties is usually considered an “overfeeder.” I despise these
Neopians in particular…. They spoil the evil, insane, caged, adorable things.”
Us: “Do you have a problem with “overfeeders” if they don’t feed Blue Draik
Eggs?”
Blue Draik: “As a matter of fact, yes. Like I said, they spoil them. They treat
the Kadoaties like royalty. If the Kadoaties wanted to take over Neopia, they
could just call all of the addicted and loyal Kadoatie feeders and take over
anything. They could defeat Sloth, the Faeries, even the Meepits! They could
destroy Maraqua all over again after it’s rebuilt, no matter how strong it is.
Kadoaties are dangerous, evil creatures! If you ever come face to face with
a Kadoatie, run away before they put their evil spell on you!”
Us: “And what if these “overfeeders” own a Blue Draik?”
Blue Draik: “That makes matters worse! When the Kadoaties finally turn on the
Neopians, they will make their loyal feeder slaves not care for their Blue Draiks…
They’ll starve them, give them broken toys, make them purposely lose in the
Battledome. And worst of all, they’d zap them with the Lab Ray! When you hear
of a Kadoatie revolution, hide your Draiks so when you go under the spell you
don’t hurt us!!! Those Kadoaties really will do anything for power.”
Us: “That doesn’t sound very good at all. But… you can’t expect people to just
ignore the Kads, can you? I mean, when you feed them they give you a nice, shiny,
trophy, and, like you said, you get the “Mew” avatar after you’ve fed 75, and
of course, they’re just so cute… oh yes they’re so cute… aww, look at that little
face, yeah look at that cute little face! A mew mew mew! A mew mew mew! They’re
just so cute! Oh yes they are! Who’re the little cuties? The little Kaddies
are! *Cough* Um… I mean I GUESS they’re just a *little* bit cute, I mean *cough*
I personally think they’re rather er… *cough* repulsive?”
Blue Draik: “Yes, exactly. They give you a trophy and an avatar and look cute.
It’s all part of their plan, trust me. Their plan to take over! *Twitch* They
want to butter you up and lure you in! Don’t fall for it. Be very careful, you
hear me? BE CAREFUL! I mean, I wouldn’t at all be surprised if one day once
they’ve taken over, we find out they have been really been in a ‘cute’ disguise
all this time, and when they take off their costume, they are actually 10 eyed,
5 armed, 30 legged, hideous mutants!!!”
Us: “That’s an interesting theory, very interesting indeed.”
Blue Draik: “Theory?! It’s the truth! You must believe me. You MUST believe
me! We need to build up an army while we still can! So when we need to fight
back after they’ve taken over, we’ll be ready! We’ll stand tall and strong against
those Kads! We’ll fight fight fight until we gain victory! We must be ready
for the inevitable! *Twitch*”
Us: “Do you think the innocent Kadoaties who want simple items having nothing
to do with Draik Eggs are evil as well?”
Blue Draik: “YES YES YEEEESSS!!! EVERY KADOATIE IS EVIL, AND SOME MAY LOOK
INNOCENT, BUT THEY ARE NOT! HELP MEEEE! WE ARE ALL IN DAAAANNNGGGEEERRRR!”
Us: “Okay now, you must calm down, sir. Sir? No, where are you going? Running
in circles like that won’t help! Sir? No, come back! We have to finish the interview!
Come back!”
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Well ladies and gentleman, there you have it. And don’t forget to stop by the
Kadoatery on your way home!
*Mew*
Note: 1st half of the article by gizmoweis2 and tweaked by everybody_say_moo
a bit, and 2nd half by everybody_say_moo. And then all extra typos fixed by
gizmoweis2.
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