The Un-Surprise Party
Owners are insane. Don’t try to predict what they’ll do. You’ll just end up in hot water, where I did. Most times, they act normally, but every now and then, they get these crazy ideas. They should just stick to making neopoints and buying food.
Hello. My name is Astpyr. I’m your everyday green Kougra, except for my deep fear of Meepits. I turned one a few weeks ago. For my birthday, I would have been fine with a few gifts and faerie cakes. But noooo! My owner, Qazx301, decided to do something else. It started one day over a breakfast of omelettes and Kau Kau milk.
“Astpyr,” she innocently asked, “do you like surprises?” She was smiling, as if it was another innocent question. But I knew better. She had to be planning a surprise party!
“I don’t know. What kind of surprise?” I tried to play the fool, but I was an expert on surprise parties. I knew that with most of them, your owner spends a lot of neopoints, hoping to make up for not consulting you. All I had to do was hint her in the right direction, and it would be really, really huge. “I’m not a fan of scary surprises, but I like fun ones, like Puppyblews, or parties.”
I grabbed my stuff and headed off to neoschool. In class, I couldn’t stop thinking about my party. My old notebooks soon were filled with colorful drawings of streamers, food, dancing, and, of course, gifts. There was a badly drawn self portrait in the middle of the picture. Mrs. Lenderson quickly confiscated my notebook, telling me I could have it back at the end of class.
But that didn’t stop my daydreams. During a lecture on pronouns, I dozed into a wonderful daydream. I saw myself telling everyone at the party I had known everything they were doing.
Suddenly, it struck me nobody will believe me! They’ll pretend to believe I had known all along, but behind my back, they’ll congratulate themselves on fooling me. No one will treat me, Astpyr, like a fool! I just needed a way to prove I had been in on the party plans all along. And in lunch, I had the greatest idea yet.
Every party had to have a theme. If I showed up in the theme of the party, I’d prove hadn’t been fooled! It would have to be a pretty specific theme. If I went with a formal theme, Qazx301 would just tell me to put on a nice dress. If it was a Mystery Island luau, she’d just tell me to put on some casual shorts.
What about a costume party? It would be easy to prove I had known all along if I wore a real costume! And I knew just how to put that theme in place. All I had to do was mention my love of costume parties to a friend, and they’d tell Qazx301! Thankfully, I only had one friend. Wonder where my owner would find enough guests?
“Hey! Kelsey!” I put my plastic tray down next to hers. She didn’t look up, her blue Wocky paw turning another page. “Kelsey! Neopia to Kelsey!” Finally, I put my paw over her book. “Kelsey!”
“What? Oh, sorry, Astpyr. What’s up?” Now, I already knew she was in on the plan. After all, our neohome was too small for a big party, so it would most likely be at Kelsey’s. Though she was geeky, her parties had a reputation as being some of the best in the school. In an attempt at winning Neohome Spotlight, her owner, Meixi2343, gave it a beautiful makeover. Kelsey was always throwing parties after that, each one better than the last.
“Oh, nothing,” I replied, trying to be nonchalant, “ I just was curious. If you could have any type of party, what type would it be? Me, I like costume parties. They’re a lot of fun.” I paused waiting for her reply. It was a really obvious hint, but Kelsey, as much as I liked her, wasn’t too smart. I had no doubt she’d throw the perfect party now, without guessing my plans.
“Oh, me?” she replied “I love formal dances. Do you really love costume parties? I mean, if you were having a birthday party, would it be a costume party?” See what I mean? I took another sip of my Neocola before answering
“Of course! I just love costume parties!”
I assumed everything was falling into place. After neoschool was over, I went to the market, to look at the costumes. Eventually, I found this old costume place, near the edge of the market. It was made of bricks, bricks that had been magically treated to look old. I assumed it was because the shop was named “Ye Olde Costume Shoppe”
Why does everyone want to be Meridellian these days? Have they never SMELLED Meridell? They bathe once every five months!
So anyway, I went into the “Shoppe”. It was pretty nice. They had a bunch of princess costumes and knight costumes. I looked around for the brightest, most garish costume they had. On an old rack, I found the perfect thing: A clown costume, complete with makeup and wig!
I grabbed it off the rack and handed it to the Royal Aisha at the counter. “Five hundred neopoints.” she said. I paid her, then went back home, hiding the costume under my bed. A week passed, until Qazx301 gave me some very interesting news.
“Astpyr?” she said, as I sat on my bed, reading a magazine “For your birthday, I’m taking you and Kelsey to a fancy restaurant. Why don’t you pick out a nice dress? We’re going to pick her up tomorrow at eight.” So that was the plan! I, while wearing a lovely dress would go to Kelsey’s house to pick her up. Then, everyone would surprise me there! The dress was just to get me dressed like a princess. They’d have a crown for me and everything.
Perfect. And I knew just how to upstage them!
Finally, it was time. I told Qazx301 I had to touch up my makeup, so she should go get Kelsey alone. Once she left, I changed out of the stupid dress and into my clown outfit. Then, I strolled up to Kelsey’s house, sure I’d shock everyone.
As I got up to the house, a young Korbat walked by. “Are you Kougie the clown?” he said, in a cute, high pitched voice.
“Um, yeah, I guess so?” I answered, a bit unsure.
“Kougie! Kougie! Yay!” He hugged me around my waist. Then, being surprisingly strong for a little kid, he dragged me inside Kelsey’s house, and down into the basement. It was really pesky, but I was dying to see everyone I knew in costume. Wait- why did I hear classical music? I gasped!
Nobody was in costume! They were all in ball gowns and tuxedos! Oh great, Kelsey must be more thickheaded than I thought! As I stared at the elegantly decorated room, I realized how much I stood out. Doing the only thing I could think of, I started to hit myself in the head with a paw. The guests stared at me. One battered old Graal spoke up. “Who’s the clown? This is an adult party!”
“Me!” I interjected. “I’m not a clown! Its me! Astpyr! I thought this was a costume party!” The guests stared some more. Then, suddenly, they all cracked up laughing.
“Birthday girl!” one old relative squealed. “That clown is a hoot!”
“Like Astpyr could ever guess what we were planning!” shouted another. By now, I was really embarrassed. Then I remembered something. Last week, I loaned some of my fancy dresses to Kelsey! She had them in her upstairs closet. All I had to do was grab them and change.
“Excuse me,” I muttered to the guests. “I need to use the bathroom.” Instead, I snuck into Kelsey’s room. Opening the battered old closet, I grabbed one of my dresses and the matching necklace. But while I dug in the closet, a young Skeith, walking to the real bathroom, saw me digging in the closet.
“Thief! The clown’s a thief!” He started running at me. Startled, I grabbed my stuff and ran to the window. “Don’t you dare!” he yelled. The Skeith reached for me, but it was too late. I jumped out the window, landing right on Kelsey’s prize roses. I spat a rose out and started to run.
Hiding behind an old tree, I quickly pulled off my wig and clown suit, changing into the elegant gown. It was a green blue color, made from Neosilk. Thankfully, the thorns didn’t do too much damage. I snuck around the house, preparing to enter the front door. “It’s me, Astpyr! I’m coming to my surprise party!” I called, confidant they would scramble to hide from me. But what I saw was no happy party crowd.
“There she is! The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime!” shouted one short Lupe in the back. To my surprise, they were armed with my birthday presents! A few had battledome weapons, and others were armed with wrapped boxes and bottled fairies.
“What! I’m not the thief! I’m Astpyr, the guest of honor!” The crowd started to surround me, looking menacing in their intent.
“You lie, clown! You can here to ruin the party! Everyone here is going to help out Astpyr - by ripping you limb from limb!” Startled, I clasped my paws over my mouth. They came away, sticky with clown makeup. Oh no.
The crowd surrounded me, poking at me with various pointy objects. They muttered various threats. I looked for any escape, but I couldn’t see one. Then, I spotted Kelsey, armed with a sword and a bottled air faerie. With a well placed kick, I shattered the bottle. The angry mob began to attack, but unheard by everyone but me, I heard a tiny voice say, “Astpyr, I grant you the ability ‘Invisibility.”
Quickly, I vanished. As I snuck up the stairs, I heard the party turn into a frantic mob, each guest attacking each other. Running up to the bathroom, I wiped the makeup off my face. Then, I opened the basement door, just in time to see Qazx301 put Kelsey in a headlock. As soon as they saw me, they let go, staring up at me in their torn and battered clothing.
“Surprise! Happy birthday!”